Author Topic: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019  (Read 11717 times)

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Offline Betsy

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #25 on: June 10, 2019, 05:23:45 pm »
61 Days in River City

Seems you cant keep 'Betsy' out of anything here. Yes, the 'play off' between the 4 supers earlier is just plain hilarious. As for the scene with Viking, just loved it..
High end of definitely enjoyed

Thank you Merry. I won't keep you. You've a lot more to review this week.
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Offline CuyahogaKingKong

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #26 on: June 10, 2019, 07:24:31 pm »
Yeah, was pretty sure that's what you'd say.  I wound up lopping off the non-sex part to include in the next chapter
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Offline Angst

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #27 on: June 11, 2019, 03:24:49 am »

So, I tried to get into Every Woman Has a Price, but to be totally honest, the slang/language barrier was so difficult to wade through, I finally gave up. The writing style was a little unusual but I made it through that okay, but at several points, I literally could not figure out what was being said or thought by the various characters. Maybe if there was a translation guide...

Offline Redsliver

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #28 on: June 11, 2019, 12:55:41 pm »

So, I tried to get into Every Woman Has a Price, but to be totally honest, the slang/language barrier was so difficult to wade through, I finally gave up. The writing style was a little unusual but I made it through that okay, but at several points, I literally could not figure out what was being said or thought by the various characters. Maybe if there was a translation guide...


Language barrier? OK, that's going to gnaw at my brain stem and cause me to revisit these chapters forty times. There's a few Maritimer-isms in there as most of my stories take place in Eastern Canada. I never thought twice that they'd be opaque when reading. Once more into the breach, I guess.

Seriously though, thanks for reading. Shame it wasn't for you.

Part 3

Blizzard

Good luck keeping up with all those girls, Gene! :laugh: Oh, and love the timing of the ending too. I can pass on the sexual mayhem, but hey, the rest is good fun, so...
Definitely enjoyed


Lower grade than usual but it was a sexual chapter and I'm pretty sure I got you with the rest of the details. Thanks for reading!

Offline Scalar7th

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #29 on: June 11, 2019, 03:05:24 pm »
Language barrier? OK, that's going to gnaw at my brain stem and cause me to revisit these chapters forty times. There's a few Maritimer-isms in there as most of my stories take place in Eastern Canada. I never thought twice that they'd be opaque when reading. Once more into the breach, I guess.

Maybe it's just a fellow Canadian talking, but I didn't notice anything out-of-place.

I did wince at Red Green, though. But that's because I understood it, not because I didn't. :)

Offline Chrystal Wynd

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #30 on: June 11, 2019, 06:57:29 pm »
Rise of Prepsalon
by: fembotheather

Wonderfully entertaining! I loved this. A sinister wave of preppiness taking over the world? Ominous preppy pod people everywhere? Way to go, FBH! This is great stuff, sweet readers, and hive fans in particular will enjoy this, but so will others.
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Offline 321

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #31 on: June 11, 2019, 09:36:54 pm »
Betsy's 61 Days in River City was fantastic, as always. Perhaps even more so this week. Lots of action, lots of suspense, and a visit from my two favorite characters. Too many killer one-liners here to even pick a favorite; I can't wait to see what happens next!

Offline Redsliver

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #32 on: June 11, 2019, 10:35:11 pm »
Language barrier? OK, that's going to gnaw at my brain stem and cause me to revisit these chapters forty times. There's a few Maritimer-isms in there as most of my stories take place in Eastern Canada. I never thought twice that they'd be opaque when reading. Once more into the breach, I guess.

Maybe it's just a fellow Canadian talking, but I didn't notice anything out-of-place.

I did wince at Red Green, though. But that's because I understood it, not because I didn't. :)

Thanks, I've been looking for anything that wasn't in context or just weird. I'm not sure where to look and still worry I'm a bit too close to things to see any problems. Also, I'm so glad it made you wince, that's made it worth including.

Offline Midori Konton

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #33 on: June 11, 2019, 10:56:59 pm »
Rise of Prepsalon
by: fembotheather

Wonderfully entertaining! I loved this. A sinister wave of preppiness taking over the world? Ominous preppy pod people everywhere? Way to go, FBH! This is great stuff, sweet readers, and hive fans in particular will enjoy this, but so will others.

Seconding this. Hive isnít generally my thing, but constant teetering on the edge between submission and resistance is, and Prepsalon had that in spades.
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Offline Scalar7th

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #34 on: June 12, 2019, 12:03:14 am »
Thanks, I've been looking for anything that wasn't in context or just weird. I'm not sure where to look and still worry I'm a bit too close to things to see any problems. Also, I'm so glad it made you wince, that's made it worth including.

Well, I'm not a Maritimer, but I do speak it fluently, so maybe I'm not your best gauge. :) But I have enjoyed reading stories localized in Canada. I haven't had the guts to do it myself, except for vaguely referencing.

Offline 321

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #35 on: June 12, 2019, 12:22:37 am »
Blizzard was hot and sexy and romantic as always. I love these characters, I love their interactions, and I love where the story has taken us so far.

Offline Redsliver

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #36 on: June 12, 2019, 02:17:34 am »
Thanks 321, I'm really enjoying writing it!


Scalar7th, I tend to write what I know, so unless I was creating something like Gotham, Metropolis or Smallville, I fall back on that I know that I know Nova Scotia, PEI, and No Funswick pretty well. Plus, Halifax has a bunch of colleges and a couple universities so it makes it kind of prime for including a lot of young beautiful people from everywhere. I also tend to get a lot of "Man, it's so cool to have something clearly Canadian." from Canadian readers.

Offline softi

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #37 on: June 12, 2019, 02:18:13 am »
I find it interesting that on a thread around here someone complained about young people in stories not using slang and so sounding old, while here some people are complaining about a story using slang and not understanding the text. It's an interesting dichotomy.
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Offline ExtantElan

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #38 on: June 12, 2019, 03:28:46 am »
Was it slang or dialect?

the meaning behind most slang can be inferred (by a majority of readers) through context clues.

Depending how 'thick' (hehehe) it is dialect can be difficult to decipher sometimes.

Offline Scalar7th

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #39 on: June 12, 2019, 09:14:02 am »
Scalar7th, I tend to write what I know, so unless I was creating something like Gotham, Metropolis or Smallville, I fall back on that I know that I know Nova Scotia, PEI, and No Funswick pretty well. Plus, Halifax has a bunch of colleges and a couple universities so it makes it kind of prime for including a lot of young beautiful people from everywhere. I also tend to get a lot of "Man, it's so cool to have something clearly Canadian." from Canadian readers.

Clearly I need to do this more. About the only Canadian bit I have is a supporting character in Joanna's War being a retired veteran from Calgary.

I can always relocate the next story. It's not finished yet, after all. Time to put some 'u's back in place...

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #40 on: June 12, 2019, 10:16:54 am »
Fourth Segment

Algorithm

Another delightful section here, though fine, I think Lucy is getting away lightly, but thats for now, whats for the future, who knows? Could be interesting if they actually made me think I was my past life self, I must admit, though hopefully I'd get her dancing skills, I'd need them. Definitely looking forward to more
High end of definitely enjoyed

Asking For It

A lovely piece of Rom MC, and yes, she really is asking for it, lol, though having her hand forced might have been enjoyed too. A delightful piece of ff hypno stuff
High end of definitely enjoyed

Contract (nevermind)

If I was still up to stuff as complex as work, I'd love to do a job application for here. Maybe they can come up with something that repairs my brain, as well as totally controlling me, that would be fun. I'm sure Susie could come up with some work I could do regardless, lol. A few nice twists and turns for good measure too, along with a great tale
High end of definitely enjoyed

Hostel

Oh seriously, if Alice wants someone to help out with the Admin, brainwash me! I know, I'm too old for the escort stuff, and not pretty enough, but mind controlled like that, oh please! Looks like Alice has a side line, and that she may not be the only one in the business too
High end of definitely enjoyed

Undress Code

Might have been the opposition in this batch, but this was a bit of a let down for me, it was all just a bit too obvious, and a bit too silly for me. Whats the comment, it could have been condensed into 3000 words, and be sharp, but all a bit drawn out for some reason? But equally, if just having women turned into sex sluts is your thing?
High end of enjoyed.

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Offline fembotheather

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #41 on: June 12, 2019, 10:28:43 am »
Thank you CW and Midori! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
"I deal in the absurd and you deal in the extraordinary. This being extraordinarily absurd, we should have loads to talk about." - The as yet unfinished Yes, We Have No Bananas:)

"This is why we have guns: so I don't need to die gracefully in a sword fight." - I have no idea where I'll use the line... but I like it. ;)

Offline fembotheather

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #42 on: June 12, 2019, 10:29:25 am »
I find it interesting that on a thread around here someone complained about young people in stories not using slang and so sounding old, while here some people are complaining about a story using slang and not understanding the text. It's an interesting dichotomy.

I found that amusing too :)
"I deal in the absurd and you deal in the extraordinary. This being extraordinarily absurd, we should have loads to talk about." - The as yet unfinished Yes, We Have No Bananas:)

"This is why we have guns: so I don't need to die gracefully in a sword fight." - I have no idea where I'll use the line... but I like it. ;)

Offline 321

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #43 on: June 12, 2019, 12:12:28 pm »

Hostel

Oh seriously, if Alice wants someone to help out with the Admin, brainwash me! I know, I'm too old for the escort stuff, and not pretty enough, but mind controlled like that, oh please! Looks like Alice has a side line, and that she may not be the only one in the business too
High end of definitely enjoyed


Thanks, Merry! Alice certainly does have a busy schedule, doesn't she?

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #44 on: June 12, 2019, 04:50:23 pm »
Yes, she does. If she needs an Admin assistant (ideally not needing too much mobility) she really ought to give me a call, or a brainwashing session :laugh:
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Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #45 on: June 13, 2019, 12:35:57 pm »
5th section

But I Donít Really Want This

Yes,I've decided I really dont want this any more, the nature of it now has turned me off completely, just getting a bit 'vindictive' for my tastes.
No rating, obviously

Exposed

So is the manager behind all this, or just reaping the benefits of whatever it is? Believe me, I've had areas given the laser treatment, and just the thought of having it done 'down there' makes me wince, let alone actually having it done! I do feel so sorry for Christine, but it makes for a great story.
High end of definitely enjoyed.

Questions & Answers

Oh god, some of that M/s play sounds amazing, though way above my standards (of course) even before my body and brain went wrong. And now I can say it, one of my regrets in life is now going to be not doing cow play, and all that milking stuff! At least the world isnt going to end before I get to the neurologist, one relief at least? :laugh: Loved this story, high end of definitely enjoyed.

Whatever Gets You Through The Night

2 chapters in one go, due to the break. First chapter holds more of a story for me, the second is more setting up the next big event, I suspect. Usual comments about great characters coming out, even in minor roles, like the receptionist here.
High end of definitely enjoyed

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Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #46 on: June 14, 2019, 10:41:34 am »
Part 6, almost there!

Bygone

The concept of each section was actually pretty good, but no one will be surprised to hear I hated how all 3 played out! I know, I like 'happy' endings' and these were just the opposite. But if you like depressing endings, you'll love these as everything else is nicely done.
No rating, I cant rating depressing endings easily, so not even trying!

Every Woman Has a Price

I think my price would be about 5 cents, if that high! :laugh: One of those I need to see more to really get an opinion on, but its got promise. I might need to sort out all the characters at some point too.
Low end of definitely enjoyed, a typical wait and see rating for me

Ms. M. and the Poet

I know, its one of those stories where I should feel sorry for Amber, and all that, but I cant! She doesnt seem the likeable type, and Ms M, I just love her style, reminds me of how I'd behave in her place! :laugh: Fine, I do feel sorry for Eric, but I suspect he enjoyed it really. Oh fine, the ending goes a bit further than is really my thing, and yes, the humiliation factor is beyond my comfort zone, but all the same... I suspect she's have me dancing through the store in a chorus girl leotard, lol.
Compromise mark, low end of definitely enjoyed. Almost gave it a straight, and I'm sure Ms M could convince me to do so, with the right offer? ;)

Tina Mesmerized and Enslaved

Seeing I'm not meant to be naughty, and rude nowadays, especially to first time writers, I'm just going to say this did nothing for me, and needs a major edit. I guess if you like repetitive, nasty humiliation, but otherwise, just give a miss.
No rating, see above

Last 4 to go!
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Offline ErebusAether

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #47 on: June 14, 2019, 10:46:55 am »
I am so thrilled to get such great responses from Performance Upgrade and Fit to Serve. French accent is coming. There are many chapters to come and lots of fun elements to play with there as it's my intention to write kind of the 'everything I want to say about French maid mind control/transformation' in a single shot.

Erebus, we will see what becomes of Lydia now that she's not quite human in due time as Brandon sets out to find her. That story is in the works and will tie much of what I'm working on together (but still be a standalone story in its own right). In the meantime, keep your eyes open for The Damned in the Arena later this month where we meet a familiar professor in a very different time and place.

-Fortunato

OH great!!! I can hardly wait for more. I've now also read Fit To Serve and I also loved it.
Looking forward to more of your writing in general Fortunato.

Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #48 on: June 14, 2019, 01:52:20 pm »
Properly Handled (mc mf ff md fd in) (1 new chapter)  by Extantelan
A brother and sister grow closer over a shared love of mind control and other various kinks and perversions.

In some ways this was probably the least wild installment. That is not to say that there was anything wrong here. I greatly enjoyed the events. There was a wonderful weirdness at the end of this chapter. Indeed, we are certainly moving forward to a conclusion that might not be as predictable as it would seem. Mesmerized for more!

Offline Betsy

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Re: New Releases-Saturday June 8th 2019
« Reply #49 on: June 14, 2019, 03:12:28 pm »
Betsy's 61 Days in River City was fantastic, as always. Perhaps even more so this week. Lots of action, lots of suspense, and a visit from my two favorite characters. Too many killer one-liners here to even pick a favorite; I can't wait to see what happens next!

Thank you 321. I'm glad you're enjoying it. As to what happens next, well, I've just sent the next chapter off, so, you'll find out what happens next tomorrow. I hope you're not disappointed.
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