Author Topic: New Releases-November 23rd 2019  (Read 1323 times)

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Offline MCaesar

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Re: New Releases-November 23rd 2019
« Reply #50 on: November 26, 2019, 04:18:52 pm »
With respect to what MCaesar wrote, I'm very grateful for the criticism. It's definitely making me look more seriously at what I wrote/what I'm currently working on. I don't know what the etiquette is for responding, but I pretty much agree with everything you wrote. Touching on your points more specifically, though:

You're most welcome. I prefer "critique" to "criticism," though, as it's all meant to be constructive. Criticism has a bit more of a negative connotation. I hope it came across as "hey, cool story, and here's some stuff you might not have thought of." Gripe was probably not the best word for my to use, either. "Note" or "thought" would be closer.

Having mulled over the Mary bit, I think the story would benefit either from investing more in it, or as you said, paring it down. If you had made her a background character in Molly's story, then the focus would have been tighter on the scooby-gang, and you could have made the reveal of Mary being enslaved be a smaller, but still impactful moment.

I'm not a critic by trade, though, so take everything I say with a grain of well-meaning salt.
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Offline awa

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Re: New Releases-November 23rd 2019
« Reply #51 on: November 28, 2019, 10:46:23 pm »
Personally, I love the Mary plot line, and would love to see it revived with more development. Right now, Mary, Molly, and Patti are all enslaved... This is delicious. I want more.
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Offline BethanyP

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Re: New Releases-November 23rd 2019
« Reply #52 on: November 30, 2019, 09:22:28 am »
Better late than never I suppose ... I remember reading Wildwood when I first saw it and I'd never gotten around to going back to it until I started seeing how many people are enjoying it.  So I finally did go back to read it over the last few days and it's wonderful, thank you to notorioushypno and thank you to all the reviewers who said something, and maybe I'll even learn something about jumping to conclusions too soon.  I too loved Mary's plotline, and hope there's more of it, though it seems I'm diving in much closer to the end than the beginning.

Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases-November 23rd 2019
« Reply #53 on: November 30, 2019, 11:37:59 am »
The Mind Masters Of Earth (mc ff sf) (new)  by Delta Wave
Itís been six years since the unscrupulous telepaths, the Mind Masters, took over the world and established a global tyrannical government. A young woman, Maya Hudson, hates the telepathsí regime with a passion. But, as sheís conscripted for service at the Mastersí governmental complex, her life is about to change drastically...

What is interesting is the underlying theme of "nothing was as expected." In some ways, that is always how the present is in hindsight. Into the 1970s, it was expected that we would be colonizing our solar system by as early as the 1990s or have destroyed ourselves in WWIII before the twenty-first century. 2021 will certainly not be exactly as expected by those living in the tail end of 2019! Anyway, I did enjoy the old school, alien invasion undertones, as well as hints of They Live. The eroticism here was definitely for those more interested in the mind control itself, especially for those looking for minimal struggle and total control. An interesting, albeit very quick, cerebral piece.

Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases-November 23rd 2019
« Reply #54 on: November 30, 2019, 12:41:50 pm »
Salemís Blood (mc ff) (new)  by Chrysostomon
Jan is invited to go to a grave of a witch but she soon discovers itís not all pretend.

This does not go quite where one might expect, and that is a great thing. As a result, this was more reminiscent of Dracula A.D. 1972, but better in some ways. We all pretty much know how a Dracula story is going to go, but there was no way to know where Salem's Blood was going to go. Louise had her own opportunistic agenda -- Dracula did not seem to have one in 1972. Jan, though, was absolutely amazing. Perhaps she did get a good laugh in the end, but certainly not in the way she was expecting earlier!

Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases-November 23rd 2019
« Reply #55 on: November 30, 2019, 01:30:34 pm »
School Foot Daze (mc fd ft) (new)  by Jake Elwoods
A college student is overwhelmed by the smell of Janetís feet.

Mind control? Foot fetish? How could I resist!? Definitely for those that are really into feet, even through the associated MC aspects. So, yeah, I personally found it all a pretty hot and fun read. What was interesting here was how that scent did not enthrall everyone. It seemed polarizing in a way, giving a degree of mystery as to what makes one repelled or enthralled. The guy did not seem to have a foot fetish at the start. At the same time, others turned out to be aware of what she could do to people. It all gave off the scent, I mean, sense that Janet was still learning about her power over others. Fun overall with a nice laugh at the end.

Offline zapped13

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Re: New Releases-November 23rd 2019
« Reply #56 on: December 01, 2019, 12:48:15 pm »
Just wanted to say that ĎGiselle the Gazelleí is one of the most original MC stories Iíve read in years! Thoroughly enjoying so far and thanks for posting it, AWMBH. I also highly recommend his & Nickelmodeltales 'And... Freeze'

Offline MetaBob

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Re: New Releases-November 23rd 2019
« Reply #57 on: December 01, 2019, 04:29:31 pm »
School Foot Daze (mc fd ft) (new)  by Jake Elwoods
A college student is overwhelmed by the smell of Janetís feet.

Quote
I personally found it all a pretty hot and fun read.

Thanks for the recommendation ... I just read it and enjoyed it, too.
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Offline MCaesar

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Re: New Releases-November 23rd 2019
« Reply #58 on: December 05, 2019, 04:18:50 pm »
Today on Day-Old Thoughts On Week-Old Stories: Extracts From The Westriver Gazette.

I figured it out, guys.
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Offline MetaBob

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Re: New Releases-November 23rd 2019
« Reply #59 on: December 06, 2019, 03:02:02 am »
Hm. I don't know if it's good form, but... has anyone read my story, by chance? *twiddles fingers nervously*

I did. I read an earlier version, too, and gave you quite a lot of editing feedback, noticing that you used almost all of it.

But without crediting my efforts.

Speaking of good form, I appreciate that AWMBH and Mind Zapper, who I also provided quite a lot of editing feedback to and who submitted stories the same week, credited my efforts at the end of their stories. Even though AWMBH spelled my name wrong so Simon didn't hyperlink it.

That was one of the busier weeks I've ever had as an editor. My own writing still isn't back on track. I don't think I'll be doing quite so much of that again.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2019, 03:11:32 am by MetaBob »
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