Author Topic: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019  (Read 11171 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline 321

  • Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1792
  • Llamas, I say, llamas!
    • I've finally got a DeviantArt page!
Re: New Releases-May 18th 2019
« Reply #25 on: May 20, 2019, 08:49:29 am »
It's Saturday. You know what that means? Why, another quality submission by 321, of course! Back at it with another delicious chapter of Hostel. The plot thickens, as we learn just what it is that's going on at this quaint inn in Berlin. As ever, the writing is of envious quality, hot as all hell, and 321 still manages it all at a pace that has me jealous. Maybe hold off on reading, because then you won't have to wait an entire week for the next chapter. Who am I kidding though, no one should wait for this.

Thanks, Shadra! And thanks to fumanchu and CerebeusOne, as well. I'm really happy that you liked this chapter!

A special 'thank you' to Simon is in order as well. I didn't get back to civilization until 3 PM on Friday and Simon still managed to get this chapter into the update. How he works such magic, I'll never know, but it's wonderful!
« Last Edit: May 20, 2019, 06:32:06 pm by 321 »

Offline CuyahogaKingKong

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 384
  • Gender: Male
  • Burnin' down the river
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #26 on: May 20, 2019, 02:57:28 pm »
Im really suprised that you hate Elias.  He's not really been such an ass, has he? Smug maybe, and a shameless mansplainer. I mean he's not good (he really should have asked if Ahn wanted to go to a faraway land where he'd fix all her problems in exchange for her adoration), which is something I plan to drill into.

It might be a while though.  Psychologically I'm not in a place where I can keep writing something positive like this.  I'm going to try and plow through chapter 4, but I don't want to force it and how I feel right now might take it to a ugly place I don't want this one to go.
https://mcstories.com/Authors/CuyahogaKingKong.html

"Behind (and beneath) your culture creating forebrain, there is an older, simpler monkey brain with a lot less to say and a much louder voice." -Dan Harmon

You. Need. Go. Search. Find. Take. Return. CHANGE.

Offline neverm1nd

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 68
  • Gender: Male
    • EMCSA Author Page
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #27 on: May 20, 2019, 03:24:15 pm »
I really liked the newest chapter of In the Beginning, and I never felt that Elias was being an asshole, especially when compared to some of the Controllers that stalk the corners of the Archive. In fact, I found the chapter rather sweet. He seems to genuinely care about Ahn, and his use of mind control is established as something that he knows is a dick move, and something he feels at least a bit guilty about. As far as non-consensual mc goes, you can hardly get any less evil in my opinion. Of course, it's still wrong -- we can't get around that -- but he's being as little an asshole as he could be without outright not controlling her. And at that point, it wouldn't be an MC story anymore.  ::)

Offline CuyahogaKingKong

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 384
  • Gender: Male
  • Burnin' down the river
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #28 on: May 20, 2019, 03:33:08 pm »
I really liked the newest chapter of In the Beginning, and I never felt that Elias was being an asshole, especially when compared to some of the Controllers that stalk the corners of the Archive. In fact, I found the chapter rather sweet. He seems to genuinely care about Ahn, and his use of mind control is established as something that he knows is a dick move, and something he feels at least a bit guilty about. As far as non-consensual mc goes, you can hardly get any less evil in my opinion. Of course, it's still wrong -- we can't get around that -- but he's being as little an asshole as he could be without outright not controlling her. And at that point, it wouldn't be an MC story anymore.  ::)

Well theoretically would it still be an MC story if he used his tech to cure Ahns crippling anxiety disorder in exchange for sex, as opposed to using it for that and to compel her into a submissive sexual role?
https://mcstories.com/Authors/CuyahogaKingKong.html

"Behind (and beneath) your culture creating forebrain, there is an older, simpler monkey brain with a lot less to say and a much louder voice." -Dan Harmon

You. Need. Go. Search. Find. Take. Return. CHANGE.

Offline Merry Brooks

  • Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10354
  • Gender: Female
  • 20's and 30's chorus girl. Twitter @Harleanlook
    • a robot wannabee's blog
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #29 on: May 20, 2019, 04:31:02 pm »
As you see in a moment, I love Elias, and seriously, if he wants to transform me into a big boobed (seems to be his thing) version of the lady in my avatar (past life me), I'd be so grateful!

Part 2

Hot Blood: Sexiness and Lust in a Silicon Valley Startup

As entertaining, and as fun as ever. Oh goodness, would love a job there, if I was going to work again, believe me! This is just so beautifully put together, I must say.
High end of definitely enjoyed, unless Lavinia tells me to give more! :laugh:

In the Beginning

Huge fan of this too. Seriously, if Elias wants to give me a makeover, and then turn me into his slave, deal! Love this because everyone just cares so much for each other too
High end of definitely enjoyed. Almost gave more, but keeping scope for that, which it will probably get

Magical Girl Syn

As long as nothing nasty happens in the end to dear sweet Ruthie, I dont mind what chaos ensues before then. This is developing both delightfully, and intriguingly, as to who will win out, I must say
High end of definitely enjoyed

Preparation

And talking of authors whose stories I love, here's another one, with a delightful twist of sorts towards the end. Seriously, he could 'brainwash' me any time he wished. Delightfully done, just loved the ending
High end of definitely enjoyed

Return of the Armored Warrior

Another entertaining chapter here, where things definitely dont all go to plans. Some fun ways of getting round problems, I must say
High end of definitely enjoyed

More to cum, sorry, come :angel:
Find my stories at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/merrybrooks
Find my blog at http://robotunit8.wordpress.com/
My ratings system explained  http://www.mcforum.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=28857.msg437815
Kofi account for review rewards, and general support (disabled): https://ko-fi.com/merrybrooks

Offline CuyahogaKingKong

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 384
  • Gender: Male
  • Burnin' down the river
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #30 on: May 20, 2019, 04:36:31 pm »
As you see in a moment, I love Elias, and seriously, if he wants to transform me into a big boobed (seems to be his thing) version of the lady in my avatar (past life me), I'd be so grateful

If I ever get to the part where we meet the other brides, likely chapter 5 or 6, you'll see he is a man of wide ranging tastes.  Well in some areas.
https://mcstories.com/Authors/CuyahogaKingKong.html

"Behind (and beneath) your culture creating forebrain, there is an older, simpler monkey brain with a lot less to say and a much louder voice." -Dan Harmon

You. Need. Go. Search. Find. Take. Return. CHANGE.

Offline Midori Konton

  • Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1072
  • Gender: Female
  • Now that I have your attention...
    • Lemma ebooks now available on Smashwords!
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #31 on: May 20, 2019, 08:07:17 pm »
Thank you for the kind words, Merry! I’m enjoying keeping you guessing. ;) I’m writing the last few chapters now, and I hope you’ll still be guessing right up to the end. :)
Love,

Jenny

MCStories: https://mcstories.com/Authors/Jennifer-Kohl.html
Subscribe for early access and extras! http://sponsus.org/u/jenniferkohl

Offline Mr.Scade

  • Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2062
  • Gender: Male
  • Last seen as an iguana
    • Patreon
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #32 on: May 21, 2019, 03:10:51 am »
I read so very little while I was working on my own story. This unfortunately meant that I haven't kept up with any story by Mr. Scade. Reading An Episode of Lingerie Enslavement really has me regretting this. Reminds me of the wonderful stories from him that I used to read so many years ago. I'll have to find the time to go through anything I may have missed for sure. As for this story? Absolutely loved it, of course. When the main character investigates a bit too far into what her sister is up to, that scene and the resulting ones were just so delicious. Certainly a story I'll be reading each and every week is updated.

 *squeals of joy* Thanks a world. Thanks a world.

Wanna know a secret? That one was written ages ago. Finally being polished and published and, ah, it feels great to get some love for it. The plot thickens in Part 2, with disjointed control and indirect mysteries to be found.

Offline Merry Brooks

  • Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10354
  • Gender: Female
  • 20's and 30's chorus girl. Twitter @Harleanlook
    • a robot wannabee's blog
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #33 on: May 21, 2019, 04:44:40 pm »
Part 3

Algorithm

Talk about making things complicated here! But fine, I loved every minute of that, in truth. I cant see a truce arising here, but who wins out in end, who knows? Yes, I still want to be a victim of that device, so much
High end of definitely enjoyed

Blizzard

As entertaining as ever, if all a little complex for my poor busted brain, nowadays. Great story, and again, what relationship(s) come out of this, heaven knows? Great fun in interim, ignoring the sex bits, lol, I'm awkward that way! :laugh: Lovely feelgood story.
High end of definitely enjoyed

Hostel

Shame its only young, good looking girls that get all the interesting jobs via the hostel! :laugh: But yes, I'd love the brainwashing treatment at the end, regardless. Great story, highly recommended as a read. I suppose Alice might need an 'old administrator' to keep everything moving smoothly? ;)
High end of definitely enjoyed

Whatever Gets You Through The Night

The delight of this is even the side characters (Oh, Nunzio...) are fun to read. As for the scene when Helen, and Mander get together, hilarious stuff. Tense ending, though instinct says Maria will survive, too big a character? Tank firing scene, oh dear!
High end of definitely enjoyed

Yew and Me

Well, this chapter livens things up in so many ways, especially at the end. Hopefully one of the 'Masters' is interested in mature British women to drone? Might have already caught a Russian eye, anyway? :laugh:
High end of definitely enjoyed

In truth, 3 of these could easily have got a higher mark, but I need to leave some scope, as they are running series. But I could tweak marks on those, with discussion? ;)

More to follow, next couple of days
Find my stories at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/merrybrooks
Find my blog at http://robotunit8.wordpress.com/
My ratings system explained  http://www.mcforum.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=28857.msg437815
Kofi account for review rewards, and general support (disabled): https://ko-fi.com/merrybrooks

Offline Writer345

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 489
  • Gender: Male
  • Life is too important to take seriously.
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #34 on: May 21, 2019, 04:57:28 pm »
Part 3

Yew and Me

Well, this chapter livens things up in so many ways, especially at the end. Hopefully one of the 'Masters' is interested in mature British women to drone? Might have already caught a Russian eye, anyway? :laugh:
High end of definitely enjoyed


Thank you for you kind words, Merry, and I am glad that you are enjoying the romp across the Martian deserts (It's great having a whole planet to play on!)  I'd like to answer your second point but I can't without giving something away.

Finally, could I ask you to spare a thought for Valasania the Pale (https://mcstories.com/Authors/Valasania-the-Pale.html), whose world I am trespassing in?
Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

er, has anyone seen my TARDIS?

Offline Merry Brooks

  • Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10354
  • Gender: Female
  • 20's and 30's chorus girl. Twitter @Harleanlook
    • a robot wannabee's blog
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #35 on: May 21, 2019, 04:59:11 pm »
Put it this way, Valsania had nothing to complain about in the reviews I gave for Yew! :angel:
Find my stories at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/merrybrooks
Find my blog at http://robotunit8.wordpress.com/
My ratings system explained  http://www.mcforum.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=28857.msg437815
Kofi account for review rewards, and general support (disabled): https://ko-fi.com/merrybrooks

Offline 321

  • Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1792
  • Llamas, I say, llamas!
    • I've finally got a DeviantArt page!
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #36 on: May 21, 2019, 06:45:31 pm »
Hostel

Shame its only young, good looking girls that get all the interesting jobs via the hostel! :laugh: But yes, I'd love the brainwashing treatment at the end, regardless. Great story, highly recommended as a read. I suppose Alice might need an 'old administrator' to keep everything moving smoothly? ;)
High end of definitely enjoyed

Trying to get a brainwashing operation off the ground while you're also running a hostel and a nightclub has to be exhausting work for one person! I'm sure that Alice would love to have you pitch in (I mean, the poor woman's still using file cabinets, for heaven's sake!)

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Offline 321

  • Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1792
  • Llamas, I say, llamas!
    • I've finally got a DeviantArt page!
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #37 on: May 21, 2019, 08:24:08 pm »
Blizzard is the perfect thing to read on this cold and snowy (yes, really!) afternoon. Oh, these two lines of dialogue warmed me more than any radiator!

“It’s hot. Don’t burn your tongue.”
“Yeah, she’s got plans for it soon."

 :grin:

Offline Merry Brooks

  • Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10354
  • Gender: Female
  • 20's and 30's chorus girl. Twitter @Harleanlook
    • a robot wannabee's blog
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #38 on: May 22, 2019, 08:48:56 am »
I actually remember using filing cabinets in a couple of places I worked in the 1970's, one in term of stock levels (though no, the stock wasnt sexy young ladies :laugh:), and the other for purchase ledger follow up calls. I could just see Alice's entry for me, 'suitable for admin work only, do not send on sex duties', lol.

Funny thing is, I actually visited East Germany before the wall came down, but sadly I was never offered the chance to be thoroughly brainwashed while there!
Find my stories at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/merrybrooks
Find my blog at http://robotunit8.wordpress.com/
My ratings system explained  http://www.mcforum.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=28857.msg437815
Kofi account for review rewards, and general support (disabled): https://ko-fi.com/merrybrooks

Offline Shadra

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 462
  • Retired one-hit wonder
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #39 on: May 22, 2019, 08:56:42 am »
I was never offered the chance to be thoroughly brainwashed while there!

That you recall =P

Offline Merry Brooks

  • Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10354
  • Gender: Female
  • 20's and 30's chorus girl. Twitter @Harleanlook
    • a robot wannabee's blog
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #40 on: May 22, 2019, 09:01:15 am »
I was never offered the chance to be thoroughly brainwashed while there!

That you recall =P

It might be why I'm into all the numbers station stuff, I'm a sleeper spy! :grin:
Find my stories at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/merrybrooks
Find my blog at http://robotunit8.wordpress.com/
My ratings system explained  http://www.mcforum.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=28857.msg437815
Kofi account for review rewards, and general support (disabled): https://ko-fi.com/merrybrooks

Offline Writer345

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 489
  • Gender: Male
  • Life is too important to take seriously.
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #41 on: May 22, 2019, 10:47:00 am »
I was never offered the chance to be thoroughly brainwashed while there!

That you recall =P

It might be why I'm into all the numbers station stuff, I'm a sleeper spy! :grin:

This one's for you, Merry, although you are probably aware of it (don't worry, it was one of ours)...

https://www.numbers-stations.com/e03/

It is also for anyone who was unaware of numbers stations and was confused by your reference....

(incidentally don't stop listening when the play bar gets to the end as there is much more of the transmission than a mere 4 and a bit minutes.)
Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

er, has anyone seen my TARDIS?

Offline Merry Brooks

  • Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10354
  • Gender: Female
  • 20's and 30's chorus girl. Twitter @Harleanlook
    • a robot wannabee's blog
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #42 on: May 22, 2019, 04:54:23 pm »
Oh yes, I love her, especially the increase in pitch at the end of each number group. She is my absolute favourite, I must say.

I have actually got a commission out for a piece relating to something similar to her, with S.B at present (was prepared to pay, but he said no, lovely man) which he will be doing in near future. This is because I have accepted I'm not going to be able to write anything lengthy any more, unless they can sort out my brain issues for me, which doesnt sound likely.

I'm hoping to get a couple of shortish anthology pieces done for the latest River City Anthology coming out in next few months, but then plan to officially retire from writing anything longer than 55 words. Garden visitors will understand the logic of that detail

I have posted 'her' before on here, but no harm in reminding people! :angel:
Find my stories at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/merrybrooks
Find my blog at http://robotunit8.wordpress.com/
My ratings system explained  http://www.mcforum.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=28857.msg437815
Kofi account for review rewards, and general support (disabled): https://ko-fi.com/merrybrooks

Offline Betsy

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 189
  • Leap before you look.
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #43 on: May 22, 2019, 05:19:23 pm »
61 Days in River City

Wasnt a lot here for me either, in truth. We are clearly beginning to get towards the big ending, in more senses than one, mind. I dont think River City will be sorry when these 2 get out of town, mind, lol.
Low end of definitely enjoyed

Thanks Merry. I'm sorry there wasn't much for you this chapter. Hopefully you'll find the next one is more interesting for you.
Leap before you look
The menu is not the meal
--x--
I am one

Offline ExtantElan

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 70
  • Gender: Male
  • Does it matter?
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #44 on: May 22, 2019, 06:42:00 pm »
Latest installment of Night Time Nudging sees more track placed down for the protagonist to expand his operation and a clear hint at a darker turn in the future; changing the tone from  playful, mildly perverse romp, in to a more exploitative narrative more in line with today's youth culture. I know in my story I lean more in to what's termed 'ENF' and far less severe sadism. Mindspark, however, doesn't seem to have any qualms stepping on characters to achieve a little degradation. This is why, despite the slowly changing tone, this is my favorite story here.

Offline Merry Brooks

  • Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10354
  • Gender: Female
  • 20's and 30's chorus girl. Twitter @Harleanlook
    • a robot wannabee's blog
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #45 on: May 23, 2019, 10:31:57 am »
Part 4

Binding Rings

My bind to this story ends here. The incest, the way Jason is now behaving, and everything else, not for me. So I stopped a short way into this chapter, due to all that.
No rating, obviously

An Episode of Lingerie Enslavement

Maybe someone needs to provide me with some of this lingerie, to spike up my sex life? :laugh: Probably doesnt help that its very rare I wear stockings, and I dont have a phone infatuation to help me get into this story. Its a well told story, and if you are into all that stocking fetish, you'll probably love it
But for my tastes, best I can do is low end of definitely enjoyed

Paperback

The ending is a bit of a mess for me, and the whole illness thing does nothing for me too. Fine, the director deserves what he gets, and Stella's ending is better than it looked like being, but anyway... Equally I love the whole Matrix/imprint thing, what can I say? But certainly more than a few interesting twists and turns at the end of this, thats for sure. So if I'm the lucky lady to become Stella, maybe we can discuss?
Definitely enjoyed, as a compromise

Uplink

Oh fine, this had just about everything this week, and I loved it. I'm assuming there must be at least one more chapter, due to the situation at the end? Hopefully Hera is looking for me, lol? Great stuff
High end of definitely enjoyed. Another that may well get more when matters are decided?

Last 4 to follow
Find my stories at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/merrybrooks
Find my blog at http://robotunit8.wordpress.com/
My ratings system explained  http://www.mcforum.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=28857.msg437815
Kofi account for review rewards, and general support (disabled): https://ko-fi.com/merrybrooks

Offline Shadra

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 462
  • Retired one-hit wonder
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #46 on: May 23, 2019, 01:20:35 pm »
Probably doesnt help that its very rare I wear stockings, and I dont have a phone infatuation to help me get into this story.

Maybe you just need some nice music to have a change in perspective? =D

Offline fumanchu

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 727
  • Gender: Male
  • AKA eviltwinmordred
    • Eviltwinmordred’s DA Page
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #47 on: May 23, 2019, 02:13:47 pm »
Part 4

Binding Rings

My bind to this story ends here. The incest, the way Jason is now behaving, and everything else, not for me. So I stopped a short way into this chapter, due to all that.
No rating, obviously

An Episode of Lingerie Enslavement

Maybe someone needs to provide me with some of this lingerie, to spike up my sex life? :laugh: Probably doesnt help that its very rare I wear stockings, and I dont have a phone infatuation to help me get into this story. Its a well told story, and if you are into all that stocking fetish, you'll probably love it
But for my tastes, best I can do is low end of definitely enjoyed

Paperback

The ending is a bit of a mess for me, and the whole illness thing does nothing for me too. Fine, the director deserves what he gets, and Stella's ending is better than it looked like being, but anyway... Equally I love the whole Matrix/imprint thing, what can I say? But certainly more than a few interesting twists and turns at the end of this, thats for sure. So if I'm the lucky lady to become Stella, maybe we can discuss?
Definitely enjoyed, as a compromise

Uplink

Oh fine, this had just about everything this week, and I loved it. I'm assuming there must be at least one more chapter, due to the situation at the end? Hopefully Hera is looking for me, lol? Great stuff
High end of definitely enjoyed. Another that may well get more when matters are decided?

Last 4 to follow

You know Merry, I appreciate both your reading and reviewing my work.
"The World shall hear from me again."
Visit me at www.deviantart.com/eviltwinmordred

Offline Merry Brooks

  • Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10354
  • Gender: Female
  • 20's and 30's chorus girl. Twitter @Harleanlook
    • a robot wannabee's blog
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #48 on: May 23, 2019, 04:30:16 pm »
Probably doesnt help that its very rare I wear stockings, and I dont have a phone infatuation to help me get into this story.

Maybe you just need some nice music to have a change in perspective? =D

You'd have to seriously mind control me to get me to show any interest in modern music! :laugh: My phone is very cheap, just does calls, and text messages, and nothing more. Last month I used 16 of my 150 minutes, and 1 of my 500 texts! All for £5 per month, as cheap as I could get. Or more strictly, what someone could find for me.  :angel:
Find my stories at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/merrybrooks
Find my blog at http://robotunit8.wordpress.com/
My ratings system explained  http://www.mcforum.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=28857.msg437815
Kofi account for review rewards, and general support (disabled): https://ko-fi.com/merrybrooks

Offline neverm1nd

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 68
  • Gender: Male
    • EMCSA Author Page
Re: New Releases-Saturday May 18th 2019
« Reply #49 on: May 23, 2019, 05:37:02 pm »
I read the whole of Algorithm in one fell swoop and can happily echo what others have said before: This some of the most sizzling hot stuff I have read in while, especially this week's chapter.

One minor gripe I have is that everyone seems strangely laissez-faire about the whole mind control business and -- in the case of Erin and Lucy -- really eager to immediately abuse it. It made me feel like I had missed a chapter where it is explained why they aren't more shocked about the fact that such a thing exists and why they are so ready to turn (basically) evil. We get to see inside Tiffany's head, and know that she's a fetishist, so we get why she wants to act the way she does. But when Erin acts the same way, it seems kind of out of nowhere.

All that being said: Yes, it might feel a bit unmotivated, BUT the result is so, so hot that I don't care why Lucy suddenly became the angel of vengeance. I'm just glad that she is, becuase it means that the ensuing battle of wills has that much more heat and weight.

That was a bit ramble-y, I hope you get what I mean. Don't let the length of the criticism discourage you. I just had a hard time conveying my point with brevity. I'm really enjoying this story!