Shouldn't the date be December 7th or... did I suddenly lose a day someplace? :D
Shouldn't the date be December 7th or... did I suddenly lose a day someplace? :DActually were in a long sleep. It's June 11th, 2273. Don't worry, Cryosleep fucks with everybody.
Actually were in a long sleep. It's June 11th, 2273. Don't worry, Cryosleep fucks with everybody.
Actually were in a long sleep. It's June 11th, 2273. Don't worry, Cryosleep fucks with everybody.
Am I alone in thinking "Cryosleep fucks with everybody" would be a great start to a story?
Just finished Dead of Night. My thoughts:
The writing is top notch, as I would have expected from SVF. It's fun having a story set in Chicago. Makes me wonder if SVF has lived there, or if he's diligent with his research. Given the quality of the writing, the latter wouldn't surprise me. Never would have expected to hear about the Dan Ryan in a story on the archive.
It's probably not fair to compare this story to Kat and Mouse, but given how much I enjoyed K&M, and this being the next story that the author put out, it's probably inevitable. With that in mind, this story was not what I had expected going in, but I'd rather not focus on that.
I'd say if you enjoy compelling sci-fi mysteries, with a touch of hypnosis and trances, this story would be highly recommended. Plenty of twists and turns, with little to no questions left unanswered by the end. If you're looking for an erotic story to get off to, though, well there are still a few moments. I think this is all by design, of course!
Ultimately I'd say it was quite an interesting read!
"It's not that erotic" is a perfectly good criticism of "Dead of Night." That's one reason I normally don't write my stories week-to-week. The most erotic section of "Gabby the Gray" got added in after the first draft of the story was done, because I wanted more sexy stuff in it.
Influencer by MindSpark
First time reading MindSpark's work, so that might have a lot to do with it.
"It's not that erotic" is a perfectly good criticism of "Dead of Night." That's one reason I normally don't write my stories week-to-week. The most erotic section of "Gabby the Gray" got added in after the first draft of the story was done, because I wanted more sexy stuff in it.
Even when Gabby, Kat, and Dead weren't trying to be sexy.... they were hella sexy. Just sayin'.
The internship is starting to get good.
Greyscribblers The Internship is becoming every bit the great story I knew it would be. He has taken the idea of the intern to the amazing heights his insight and writing talent always do. Nicole continues to 'learn' at the instruction of Ms. Henderson and company. She got a really good lesson in office etiquette and how nice her boss is in letter her indulge in certain things this week. HOT. HOT. HOT. And course so well written from Nichole's internal perspective, something Grey is so damn good at always. Also received an answer to a question I was wondering: What was up the the blue light and candles? Is it science for something else? Look like something else.....ohhh...So glad there are many more chapters to go.
This week gives us two workplace stories from two longtime EMCSA writers: Greyscribbler's The Internship, now in its third frame, and newcomer Thin as Paper, Thick as Blood by connie k. I'm loving the slow burn of these stories and the way each takes time to build an atmosphere of "just off-kilter enough to be weird but not obvious enough to run screaming from the building." One gets the feeling that neither Nichole nor Jackie are going to ever escape from their new jobs- but I'm guessing that before the end, neither will care about that!
Wish Fulfillment appears to have been removed?Yes it disappeared very quickly. Duckduckgo had an entry but not a cache.
Lastly, The Witch, The Whip, His Wife and Her Lover. I think the author and I need to have a word about the length of his titles! I was excited to read this one, given how much of a gem his first story was. Unfortunately, parts of the story were rather stacked against that. Politics of any kind is quite the turn off, and male sub in general is just difficult for me to find interest in, though not impossible! That said, I would wager that people that prefer male sub would greatly enjoy this. I think certain aspects of the story, such as the use of colors, was fantastic. Quite frankly, if the main character was female, I probably would have loved it, maybe even with the politics. So yeah, still going to say great job.
Fingers crossed that the next story is a bit more to my taste. (Not that you should be writing for me, of course.) I'll likely be reading it regardless.
I also loved Rachel's Love Potion. Really great world-building and setup. I felt like the execution felt slightly flat, but I honestly couldn't tell you why - I think a POV switch to Rachel at that point would have been what I was looking for, but I'm certainly not complaining. Really great, hot tale. :)
The Internship is a little less overt with the mind control than I prefer (obviously personal preference, yadda yadda), but I was still enjoying it. And then it got to that last scene at the main character's home. I'd definitely say that the scene kicked the story up a notch! No idea what's in store for the remaining seven chapters, but the ending to this one made me certain I'll continue to read.
The Internship and May I were both great. I sent May I to someone I'm seeing, because I'm fairly sure it'll be a huge turn-on for her.
Since we are talking about greyscribbler I just checked out Amy a Lawyer from 2011c
really really good.
Since we are talking about greyscribbler I just checked out Amy a Lawyer from 2011c
really really good.
Thanks StoryFan. It doesn't feel that long ago. Maybe I should do a sequel forit's 10th anniversary? There was Amy's colleague...
Greyscribbler
It's Day-Old Thoughts On Week-Old Stories! This time is Zack and Millie.
A pleasant little story. The "flash-present" sections (where events while Millie is in trance occur in italics) are a neat device. And the introduction of the shopkeeper character with some mysterious past with Zack has been an intriguing addition.
I am a little curious when it's going to... "kick in," so to speak. There's a sense that the plot is building toward something, but there's not really any sense of what that might be. Besides "now Millie is now completely enslaved." Just replace the words "personal assistant" with "slave" in her head, and you've basically done it. She hasn't really been fighting or resisting at all. There are piles of stories that consist of a single scene of enslavement, and I don't really miss it when it lacks dramatic tension or a deeper plot. As I said, this one has been pleasant, like a nice stroll in the park, but after 10k words, I'm hoping for a little more excitement. Or I'll adjust my expectations.
Glad you're enjoying, if on a chilled out stroll-in-the-park level.
For what it's worth: For me, the journey in this story isn't Millie's. Which may be clear after the final chapter, or I may have missed my mark.
I think I can get behind that. Been reading some "battle-of-wits" and "cat-and-mouse" stories lately, and been trying to pick them apart, and the progression of enslavement and the struggle between controller and victim are often the big conflict there. The high stakes and uncertainty I've been slurping up with those have probably colored my view a bit.
But if you're saying what I think you are, I do think I've got a bit better of a handle on it now. :)
And speaking of both stories, the biggest issue I have with both of them is that both are very lacking in eroticism to me.