Author Topic: New Releases-September 28th 2019  (Read 1191 times)

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Offline SB

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #25 on: October 02, 2019, 04:04:28 pm »
S.B.'s Corruption Games fulfills something I was hoping would be expanded upon from the last update. Alexandra's call to her contact was a fun exchange. Watching them go through the motions and him react to the waking suggestions was, as the author called the subtitle, "the fun way." The cruel hangups followed by the triggering commands, I envied and pitied Jeremy all at once. Looking forward to Alexandra's next plan of attack.


Glad you enjoyed where things went this time around and know that Alexandra likes you, too. In fact, don't be surprised if she drops by for a visit soon.  ;)
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Offline Shadra

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #26 on: October 02, 2019, 05:41:28 pm »
Been a rough week, so I didn't get around to commenting on the stories I have read just yet. Will probably read a few more today, but perhaps it's better to get some reviews out of the before I start mixing stories up in my head.

Going alphabetically, it's probably no surprise that I greatly enjoyed this chapter of Algorithm. It's not easy for me to get emotional over a story, but this chapter sure did it! Even the second time through was a bit of a tear-jerker for that one scene. And then of course the hot scenes that followed... As this arc comes to a close, I'm really curious where the final arc of the story takes us, but I'm sure it's going to be just as good. And yes, those two little words definitely brought a smile to my face!

I often decide what stories to read based on the very reviews here, and Blood on Parchment was the first of those. The story is very well written, and I'm sure anyone that is a fan of vampire stories will very well enjoy it.

Next up, and another recommendation from her, we have Master PC - Conditional Slavery. Admittedly I'm not very familiar with the Master PC universe. I know the basics, and of course what I learned from reading this story. Fantastic style from a new author, I have to say. Much of the content didn't appeal to me directly, but I still found the story quite interesting, and found it very unique, even if that's due to me not reading much in the universe. I do have two thoughts about it, but I'll leave that in the spoilers below.

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Next up, we have the thrilling conclusion to Office Story With Huge Title! I greatly enjoyed this story, and am partly sad to see it end. Fantastic submission for a first time author! Definitely one for me to keep an eye on going forward. While I expected things would have played out the way they did, it was actually a reversal of characters of what I was thinking. And then the huge twist that explained how Jenna was able to do all the things... very clever! I don't usually reread stories, but I'm tempted to go back to the beginning to see things in this new context. Either way, I look forward to any future story you may submit!

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

While I'm still holding out hope to see a continuation of Fascination Uniform, I did take a look at Trapped. The writing is well done, and the story is well told. Has some themes that I enjoy, but overall didn't do much for me. I think perhaps if it was longer, gave more time to connect with the character, I would have enjoyed more.

Last one for this post, I started Wildwood at the recommendation of another author. Really enjoy seeing things play out. There are many players in this story, allowing for a gripping tale that has me wondering where things will go. There are of course many things I hope to see! Not much to say other than I really hope to have another two chapters next week!

That's all for now. Maybe have some more read by the end of the day, but probably won't have another post right away.

Offline walter_kovacs

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #27 on: October 02, 2019, 07:03:54 pm »
Next up, we have the thrilling conclusion to Office Story With Huge Title! I greatly enjoyed this story, and am partly sad to see it end. Fantastic submission for a first time author! Definitely one for me to keep an eye on going forward. While I expected things would have played out the way they did, it was actually a reversal of characters of what I was thinking. And then the huge twist that explained how Jenna was able to do all the things... very clever! I don't usually reread stories, but I'm tempted to go back to the beginning to see things in this new context. Either way, I look forward to any future story you may submit!

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


I'm very happy you've enjoyed it, thank you greatly for the write up!

Regarding your question in the spoiler tags:

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

That reminds me, I will have to add in a little thanks section to Merry and Geo for proofreading and providing feedback on the initial draft!

Offline badpenny

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #28 on: October 02, 2019, 09:20:23 pm »
Quote
Alter-Right (mc mf fd) (new)  by Ozhojabbe
Ethan eats, breathes and sleeps the Intellectual Dark Web, but Cassie might have something to say about that.

Well written and worth reading. It wasn't quite the story I hoped it would be, but that's an unfair burden to judge any work by - this is good on it's own merits. I will, nevertheless discuss something that it made me think about, which relates to an ongoing discussion that crops up from time to time on the forums.

This one takes a swerve and has a happy ending, but arguably I think the pre-swerve status quo was much more enticing, and were the strongest parts of the story. Politics related MC stories tend to take the form of "Feminist/Progressive woman is turned into a Submissive/Conservative/Ultra Traditionalist woman". There are a variety of reasons why that's a common theme of course. There's a long term precedent via Stepford Wives. Making people act against their own interests is quite hot to a lot of people and since most subjects tend to be women in archive stories, that dovetails thematically. Nevertheless, the inversion of this story is an appealing and interesting direction to take things. I believe For The People is a story where people raised this as a point, and in some ways Alter-Right answers the call on that front, but arguably does not explore it as deeply as I think the idea merits. I would really love to see another story take this idea and run with it a bit more long-form, or even for the story as it exists to continue on and take up that theme with other characters outside of the two in the chapter we have.

If the idea remains under-explored I may write a story with that theme myself, although my preference is always to be lazy and have someone else do the hard work for me  :grin:

So the synopsis of Alter-Right promoted me to put it in my "hmm, second pass through" mental stack (since I'm unfamiliar with the author), but this review bumped it up to a first pass read. I'm on record on enjoying unapologetically dark stories. As walter_kovacs mentions, this one takes a swerve. Up until it, I was enjoying Ethan's takedown. There's something delicious about revenge fantasies, and the tagging and synopsis had me all excited about what Cassie was planning. And then...the swerve.

The rest of my comments are spoilery, so behind the tag they go:
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Like walter_kovacs, I'd love to see a longer exploration of this idea. There's a lot to unpack with the overarching characterizations of both Ethan and Cassie. There's a part of me that wants to say Ozhojabbe sold this story a little short, but it's written with a firm enough hand that when I step back and try to take a more objective look at it, I'm left convinced Ozhojabbe told the story they set out to write, and my complaints are more of a result of my tastes of a reader not lining up with the author's vision.

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

And speaking of walter_kovacs, I've finally had a chance to catch up with There Was Something Strange Going On At The Office (mc mf md) (2 new chapters)  by Alan Smithee. I have many favorite flavors of MD stories, and this one hits a number of them.

First, I love the pacing.The chapter breaks feel natural, and I love how Jenna's aware Something Is Not Right in the early chapters while everyone around her is convinced Everything Is Right. That makes for the type of internal character conflict that I love, especially in MD stories. Because of course Jenna starts to give in, and of course it's delicious. I love how inevitable everything feels, and how the entire narrative is infused with the sense of sensual dread based on careful word choices. A lot of care went into crafting the story. It's nearly invisible, but since I ended up reading it with a reviewing eye, I spotted a number of stand-alone word choices that made me think "yes, yes, you put serious though into the language you used in this story to guide readers to a certain feeling."

(I hope I found my way to the right feeling. Even I didn't, it was the right feeling for me for this story, so that's enough of a win for me.)

This is a wonderful debut story and I look forward to future offerings!

Offline oshojabbe

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #29 on: October 03, 2019, 12:19:25 am »
Alter-Right: Well written and worth reading. It wasn't quite the story I hoped it would be, but that's an unfair burden to judge any work by - this is good on it's own merits. I will, nevertheless discuss something that it made me think about, which relates to an ongoing discussion that crops up from time to time on the forums. [snip]

I'm glad you found the story worth reading!

[...] And then...the swerve. [snip] So in the end, the execution fell flat for me, much like a semi-sweet'semi-dry wine that can't bother to commit to either end of the spectrum. Middle of the road stuff rarely satisfies me, and this story comes across as firmly middle of the road to me.
[snip] There's a part of me that wants to say Ozhojabbe sold this story a little short, but it's written with a firm enough hand that when I step back and try to take a more objective look at it, I'm left convinced Ozhojabbe told the story they set out to write, and my complaints are more of a result of my tastes of a reader not lining up with the author's vision.

Thanks for the feedback! I definitely can see where you're coming from. It's definitely a tricky tightrope to walk - writing a story with a swerve, and I'm quite conscious of how easy it is to lose the audience.

While our tastes do possibly differ, I still value feedback like yours because it gives me ideas for how to experiment with stories in the future.

Politics related MC stories tend to take the form of "Feminist/Progressive woman is turned into a Submissive/Conservative/Ultra Traditionalist woman". [...] Nevertheless, the inversion of this story is an appealing and interesting direction to take things.I would really love to see another story take this idea and run with it a bit more long-form, or even for the story as it exists to continue on and take up that theme with other characters outside of the two in the chapter we have.

Like walter_kovacs, I'd love to see a longer exploration of this idea.

I definitely think it's an underutilized subgenre of MC fiction. I'd love to see more people exploring this type of inversion of well-worn tropes. While I think I'm done with Cassie and Ethan, I might see about doing more with this idea in the future.

Offline walter_kovacs

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #30 on: October 03, 2019, 07:14:33 am »
And speaking of walter_kovacs, I've finally had a chance to catch up with There Was Something Strange Going On At The Office (mc mf md) (2 new chapters)  by Alan Smithee. I have many favorite flavors of MD stories, and this one hits a number of them.

First, I love the pacing.The chapter breaks feel natural, and I love how Jenna's aware Something Is Not Right in the early chapters while everyone around her is convinced Everything Is Right. That makes for the type of internal character conflict that I love, especially in MD stories. Because of course Jenna starts to give in, and of course it's delicious. I love how inevitable everything feels, and how the entire narrative is infused with the sense of sensual dread based on careful word choices. A lot of care went into crafting the story. It's nearly invisible, but since I ended up reading it with a reviewing eye, I spotted a number of stand-alone word choices that made me think "yes, yes, you put serious though into the language you used in this story to guide readers to a certain feeling."

(I hope I found my way to the right feeling. Even I didn't, it was the right feeling for me for this story, so that's enough of a win for me.)

This is a wonderful debut story and I look forward to future offerings!

I'm blushing from all these supportive comments, so thank you and everyone else who has chimed in.

Sensual dread is not a phrase I've ever heard before, but I love it. I think your read on this is quite insightful. When writing, I was thinking in terms of Hitchcockian suspense - a metaphorical bomb is under the table, and the audience can see it as clear as day, but the characters sitting at the table do not. Similarly, aspects of the story are apparent to the reader but not to Jenna. Word choice and repetition were definitely on my mind as well.


I definitely think it's an underutilized subgenre of MC fiction. I'd love to see more people exploring this type of inversion of well-worn tropes. While I think I'm done with Cassie and Ethan, I might see about doing more with this idea in the future.

I think I'm now very onboard with the idea of taking a little spin at it too, so thank you for writing it and I look forward to seeing what you might also do with it in the future  >:D

Offline Mr.Scade

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #31 on: October 03, 2019, 07:43:37 am »

While I'm still holding out hope to see a continuation of Fascination Uniform, I did take a look at Trapped. The writing is well done, and the story is well told. Has some themes that I enjoy, but overall didn't do much for me. I think perhaps if it was longer, gave more time to connect with the character, I would have enjoyed more.

 I hope that I'll be able to continue it, especially now that there's some ideas... that have evolved there.

 Thanks for the praise. Thanks for the criticism.


Offline greyscribbler

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #32 on: October 03, 2019, 04:42:54 pm »

And Greyscribbler returns with a vengeance with his story On a Train to show how great an induction story can be if it is done just so. And man does he do it here to perfection.

It's a once act, one scene play on a train car with Linda the rider, Alice the controller and a very tasty muffin.


Scribbler has a great facility for describing how a subject is broken down during various inductions and has shown it in so many of his great stories and in this one he is at the total top of his steaming hot game. The psychology Alice uses on Linda in conjunction with Linda's desire to eat a muffin is just so intricate and superb. And he takes her, and reader down that slippery slope, step by ever more steamy step. By the time this story ends you need to either take a cold shower....or do something else. But you gotta do something.

And I loved the ending too, with the muffin. So nice a way to bring the story around and to show that sometimes a muffin is important...until something better comes along.

Great job GreyScribbler. Just an object lesson in how to write an induction story in a flawless manner both in style, content and hotness. It's a ten. You missed nothing here which means we the readers didn't either. Thanks!

Thanks CerebusOne.  Glad you liked it.  It was part of my continued attempts to write something short.  I don't think Linda is going to be eating too many more muffins.

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Offline greyscribbler

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #33 on: October 03, 2019, 04:45:38 pm »
Greyscribbler's On a Train was quite the random encounter for Linda and Alice. I've had occasional purchases like that muffin, and someone dissuading me from it the way Alice does it, intuitively guessing everything before and giving constructive thoughts on feelings and solutions, kind of easy to see how Linda fell like she did. This would be a perfect dieting program of sorts somewhere.


Thanks me-chan. Glad you liked it.  Alice wwas happy to use what she had.

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Offline greyscribbler

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #34 on: October 03, 2019, 04:47:15 pm »
Really enjoyed Greyscribbler's On a Train. Although... where are the other 37 chapters?  ;)

I love how Alice jumps in and takes control right away. I'll have to remember that the next time I break down and get a muffin!

Thanks 321.  As to the other 37?  Well, it is the same Alice from Exposed, so there's another three chapters.  And I do have other stories in mind for Alice, so ...

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Offline greyscribbler

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #35 on: October 03, 2019, 04:48:49 pm »
Want to give a shout out to On A Train. That was an extremely well done and creative induction. Good job.

Thanks 3rdLeprechaun. Glad you liked it.

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Offline badpenny

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #36 on: October 03, 2019, 06:24:08 pm »
Thanks for the feedback! I definitely can see where you're coming from. It's definitely a tricky tightrope to walk - writing a story with a swerve, and I'm quite conscious of how easy it is to lose the audience.

While our tastes do possibly differ, I still value feedback like yours because it gives me ideas for how to experiment with stories in the future.

Well, they differed a bit on this story. I just finished reading Sororal Devotion, and that one was very much a hit. I look forward to diving into Empty Heads and look forward to seeing new stories!

Back to this update:
Where Everybody Knows Your Name (mc mf md) (new)  by Chrystal Wynd

I originally reviewed this during Khaki's. April 2019 Arena Event (Ka-Ka Land). But I couldn't resist re-reading it now that it's on the archive. I still love how Elliot rolls with all the magical weirdness in the The Electric Raven because it's normal. I got a kick out of his reaction to both watching the game between the mysterious figures and being pulled in as an (involuntary) participant. The story's just as fun on a second read-through.

Trapped (Mr. Scade) (mc ma ft) (new)  by Mr. Scade

I'm always mesmerized by Mr. Scade's stories. This one is no exception. I love it starts well past the part of the victim being trapped, how the dehumanization is just complete enough that she honestly can't recall her name but can recall certain snippets of her past life so she's aware of what she's surrendering but too far gone to truly care.

Offline Chrystal Wynd

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #37 on: October 03, 2019, 06:51:17 pm »
Penny, you rock! Thank you for the review.  😁
I also post stories under the writing name of "Dark Wynd".

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Offline Shadra

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #38 on: October 03, 2019, 08:03:26 pm »
So many stories to read this week... This may be my last set, though.

Starting with Alter-Right, I really enjoyed the premise. Changes in perception or belief, as shown here, is one of the more enjoyable styles of MC, I find. Unfortunately, the execution kind of killed it for me. Also a bit embarrassed to admit, not sure I understood the last scene. Either way, concept was fun, and I still enjoyed the little twist a bit after the middle.

One of the reviews here for Corruption Games got me interested. I did have to go back and catch up, but thankfully the chapters are short enough that it wasn't at all an issue. Green stories aren't quite my forte, but I'm really enjoying the story nonetheless! Since chapter one is new to me, I'd also like to say I had fun deciphering the code on my own. I wonder how many others were able to read that sentence before they knew how it was scrambled? Was a bit tikrcy, but not uklnie slmracnig the mdilde ltretes in a wrod and slitl bneig albe to raed tehm. Eager to see where this story goes! Any story with a sexy woman in a latex catsuit gets a thumbs up in my book.

The Girls of Sleep continues to entertain with such a lighthearted tone that is quite a breath of fresh air, at times. I like my stories to have a bit of drama, but it's nice to get a break from that every now and then with such fun pieces as this. Can't wait to see what the next induction will be like, and what the victimpartner is compelled to do!

It's getting hard to remember what I reviewed already or not! I do believe Jennifer Lost The War is up next. Anybody else hear The Offspring in their head while reading this? No small surprise that a Jukebox story is well told. Quite a hot story, and if I were to give one criticism, it's that it wasn't longer. Would really like to see what might happen next, but those two words at the end of the story, and the middle of this sentence, say it's not going to happen. Shame, but would still recommend!

What better way to celebrate the spoopiest of months than by reading the not-so-spoopy story A New Treat! A delightful little short -- about as short as it can be! -- but such great fun. I hope those two really have an amazing rest of the night! I'll have to remind myself later, but it seems the author has a similar story involving that divine candy...

So much praise for On A Train, I of course had to check it out myself. No need to repeat what everyone else has said, so I'll just say that the other reviews are spot on, and if they don't entice you into reading, well... your loss I suppose!

Lastly, there's Succubus' Folly. This story did not go the way I expected! And that's usually a good thing, as is this case. Nice little tale of transformation. Admittedly, would have liked to see some of Spectra's old self return in some way, but the new her does seem so adorable, I can't really complain. Definitely leaves room for related tales in the universe, and I'm interested enough in this one to consider checking them out, should the author continue.

All I had time for today. May get another story or two in before the next update... but hard to say. I usually don't get around to many stories, certainly not this many, this often.

Offline jmichaels

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #39 on: October 05, 2019, 12:16:39 am »
CW, I follow you on Tumblr and I'm loving how you're expanding Crystal Heights' various locations, from the various clubs of The Zone to these lesser known venues like The Electric Raven. The crazy, never know what to expect next, aspect of your well crafted universe makes each of your stories a wild ride.

Offline Chrystal Wynd

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #40 on: October 05, 2019, 12:52:57 am »
Thanks, jmichaels! I appreciate your saying so. And thanks for the Tumblr mention as well. If you want to see all my posts from before the Tumblr purge, (the x-rated stuff), I'm also on bdsmlr dot com.
I also post stories under the writing name of "Dark Wynd".

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I am on BDSMLR dot com as 'Chrystal Wynd' also.

Offline oshojabbe

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #41 on: October 05, 2019, 07:09:41 am »
Starting with Alter-Right, I really enjoyed the premise. Changes in perception or belief, as shown here, is one of the more enjoyable styles of MC, I find. Unfortunately, the execution kind of killed it for me. Also a bit embarrassed to admit, not sure I understood the last scene. Either way, concept was fun, and I still enjoyed the little twist a bit after the middle.

Thank you for the feedback. You're the third person in this thread with this kind of critique, so I'll have to be more mindful of how I write things like this in the future.

Regarding the last scene, I intended it to imply that Cassie had hypnotized herself as part of role-play, and since she had forgotten her phone when leaving, she wasn't going to get the trigger to unhypnotize herself - mirroring what happened to Ethan somewhat.

However, I firmly believe in death of the author and another valid interpretation of the story supported by the text is that  Cassie's attitude at the end is who she really is. And her forgetting her phone could be hinting at Ethan somehow turning the tables on her.

(In retrospect, the reason for the ambiguity is that we never see things from Cassie's perspective before this point, plus the story is always third person limited. So it's not 100% clear how things actually were a week before the story started. If Ethan didn't actually lose a hypnosis bet, then the interpretation where Cassie is manipulative becomes more likely. If Ethan did lose a hypnosis bet, then the interpretation where Cassie is hypnotized and missing a trigger is more likely.)

Offline Fortunato

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #42 on: October 05, 2019, 08:13:07 am »
Just wanted to pop in and say that I've not been reading much lately, but I did take a look over Savannah's Hypnotic Socks and like the servitude aspect that started to come into play. I'm hoping there's another update this week.

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Mind control, feet, shoes, maids (especially with outrageous French accents), race changes (especially with any dodgy accents), transformations, total identity losses, reluctance/resistance, humiliation, IQ loss, dehumanization, stuck costumes/uniforms/clothes, and forced servitude.

Offline greyscribbler

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #43 on: October 05, 2019, 04:55:01 pm »

So much praise for On A Train, I of course had to check it out myself. No need to repeat what everyone else has said, so I'll just say that the other reviews are spot on, and if they don't entice you into reading, well... your loss I suppose!


Thanks Shadra, glad you liked it.

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Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #44 on: October 11, 2019, 09:06:23 pm »
Properly Handled (mc mf ff md fd in) (2 new chapters)  by ExodusRex
A brother and sister grow closer over a shared love of mind control and other various kinks and perversions.

It's great to see this up and running again after a brief hiatus. Did need a mental catch up, but whatever. Its truly remarkable how they all evolved up to this point. Perhaps they forced to bloom what was already there: the voyeurism, the aggression. A really hot and detailed update here! It's not always clear what is happening, but that is the point. The layers of MC are wonderfully mind-bending. Of course, it would seem the end is nigh ...

Offline SB

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Re: New Releases-September 28th 2019
« Reply #45 on: October 13, 2019, 04:37:47 am »

One of the reviews here for Corruption Games got me interested. I did have to go back and catch up, but thankfully the chapters are short enough that it wasn't at all an issue. Green stories aren't quite my forte, but I'm really enjoying the story nonetheless! Since chapter one is new to me, I'd also like to say I had fun deciphering the code on my own. I wonder how many others were able to read that sentence before they knew how it was scrambled? Was a bit tikrcy, but not uklnie slmracnig the mdilde ltretes in a wrod and slitl bneig albe to raed tehm. Eager to see where this story goes! Any story with a sexy woman in a latex catsuit gets a thumbs up in my book.


Only catching up now - where's that follow topic button? - but thanks. Alexandra is a fun character to write. Always glad when someone enjoys something green out of me especially after saying green stories aren't their forte. Lots of surprises in store but it's going to take a while to get through them all. I hope you continue to have fun with it.
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