Author Topic: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019  (Read 8640 times)

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Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #25 on: May 06, 2019, 04:49:12 pm »
Part 3

Afternoon at the Pink Yoga Studio

Definitely in need of a good edit! It really lives up to the title, and little else, in truth. Well, strictly its 2 afternoons, but anyway... Very formulaic, nothing that really grabbed me in truth. But hey, its a first timer, so skills might improve?
Enjoyed. Would have got high end, if better edited

Hostel

The gem of this batch, by far. Oh my, this is getting delightfully sinister, though I am wonder if there are any vacancies in the 'old crock' section of the hostel, all the same. Looking forward to discovering more
High end of definitely enjoyed

Parasites Infect

Oh fine, the impregnation stuff is big turn off for me, as all know. Other than that though, and the factor of repetition, its OK I guess? I'd read more, but not grabbing me at this point
High end of enjoyed

Resistance 2

Well, that sort of played out as the inevitable end, but a couple of neat moments en route, all the same. Nicely done, but fine, father/daughter incest, big yuck for me!
Compromise? Low end of definitely enjoyed, just maybe, but consider it a wide compromise range! ::)

Stop Watch

Oh, and talking about father/daughter incest, and the fascination with it, crops up here too. Shame for me, because without that, its a pretty decent story. But yes, what father wants tom do with daughter, no thanks
I'll give it a definitely enjoyed as a compromise again, though again, this is just a middle of road mark here

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Offline paperbag

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Re: New Releases-May 4th 2019
« Reply #26 on: May 07, 2019, 02:19:30 am »
When done right, it has almost as a disorienting feel for the reader as it does to the victim.

Trilby Else, who was so good at this, and few others used that maneuver to varying effect and success in other stories and I have to say 321 did it in an inimitable way that is as great as I have ever read in any story, ever. Just masterful! That is no mean feat to pull off.

Just ridiculous. MC really can't get any better than what happened here.

Over the last week, I've been revisiting Trilby Else's "Tether" after years of reading it whole. I've been going over it slowly in the hopes of not missing some yummy detail. It's a story that has an unusually high intensity and craft that elevates me to a plane of pleasure that is rare to achieve.

It actually shook me that I felt a familiar transcendence while reading the first, but especially the second of the two chapters of 321's "Hostel." Already I cannot wait to revisit it once the story is complete. I agree with everything in CerebusOne's review. One of my favourite little moments that sent me on cloud nine was Rebecca's preference for coffee. Alice is very cost-effective. *Evil Laugh*

This instant classic of a chapter should come as no surprise since 321 delivered one of the hottest revelations at the end of a chapter mid-way  in "Amnesiac." I still remember it vividly.

Another aspect that makes the mind-churnings of the main characters so utterly erotic is their degrees of corruptibility in hypnotizing others. I love that Rebecca has unspeakable desires on susceptible babes that her wobbly moral compass stops her short of committing. Even better is what a mischievous devil's advocates Emily is when she urges her friend to do worse to others without concern. There is a squick-inducing irony made clear back in chapter one when Emily tells Rebecca that she is not a monster.

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

I can only hope this story will have more chapters to come! Bring on the slow burns!
« Last Edit: May 07, 2019, 02:52:42 am by paperbag »

Offline rikimaru

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #27 on: May 07, 2019, 02:20:28 pm »


Resistance 2

Well, that sort of played out as the inevitable end, but a couple of neat moments en route, all the same. Nicely done, but fine, father/daughter incest, big yuck for me!
Compromise? Low end of definitely enjoyed, just maybe, but consider it a wide compromise range! ::)


Ah I've gotten off easy yet again lol!  I had half a mind to recommend you read chapter 9 and skip chapter 10.  In truth, I don't know that this final chapter would do anything for me either as a third party...  but it was all building in this direction and the logical conclusion.  Hopefully it's good for somebody..!   ???

Offline Betsy

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #28 on: May 07, 2019, 03:39:39 pm »
Betsy's 61 Days in River City has smelly booze-swigging Vikings, heroines on the job, and an unexpected quarterly uptick in new television sales. Mysteries are afoot and Motorcycle Maid is still being mean. It's been a wild six weeks, story-wise, and there's still sixteen days of adventure to come!

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Thank you. I hope you like the rest.

And yes, I did Google my girlfriend was brainwashed into a latex drone as soon as I read it. Interesting results.
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Offline Betsy

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #29 on: May 07, 2019, 03:45:51 pm »
61 Days in River City

Pure lunacy in River City too, as would be expected. Fine, my favourite scene has to be the supermarket one, but its all pretty good. The primary mission might get done eventually, but regardless, the ride to that point is just great
High end of definitely enjoyed

Thanks Merry. The primary mission is getting done. There's just some preparation to be undertaken as well as a certain date to hit. But things have to be contained in order not to disturb the big event. It's the same for just about anything, isn't it?
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Offline 321

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #30 on: May 07, 2019, 09:53:09 pm »
paperbag, Shadra, Cerebus, fumanchu, Merry... thank you so much for the comments! I was nervous about this chapter, and I'm glad that you all liked it!

Seriously, you guys made me blush!

More slow burns on the way.  :)

Offline badpenny

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #31 on: May 07, 2019, 10:31:43 pm »
Hostel (mc ff) (1 new chapter)  by 321
Rebeccaís trip to Berlin takes an interesting turn.

In the interest of being totally transparent, I dove into this story based on both the reviews in this update thread plus the praise Iíve seen for some of 321ís other stories in my sporadic poking at previous update threads this year. Iím enough of a sucker for slow burns that Iím going to say Iím willing to look past my hypo-squick. (Someday, Iím going to be forced to admit to myself itís not really a squick.)

Without spoiling too much, Iíll say this plays with some of my favorite EMC themes, and the characters, setting, and associated world building are absolutely enthralling. I love the mindfuckery and Rebeccaís POV, and even (yes) the hypnosis/trance sequences.

I think CerebusOne mentioned something about 321 writing intricate and cerebral stories. That absolutely fits and is indeed the major appeal for me. I love how Iím left satisfied by the action and also left wondering whatís going to come next. Sometimes, I want a story where I'm not entirely confident I know where things are going, because part of the pleasure is, in essence, submitting to the author's vision. I may have ideas where things will go, and if I turn out to be right, Iíll give myself a smug pat on the back. But if Iím wrong, Iíll probably be delighted by the twists. Usually it takes me a couple of stories before I'm willing to extend that much trust to a new-to-me author, but in two chapters, 321 has convinced me it's worth extending trust for this story.

So thank you, 321 for the delightful read! And thank you to everyone whoís commented on Hostel in this tread, because yaíll finally pushed me over the reading edge.

Offline mr potestas

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #32 on: May 08, 2019, 12:33:14 pm »
Properly Handled (mc mf ff md fd in) (2 new chapters)  by Extantelan
A brother and sister grow closer over a shared love of mind control and other various kinks and perversions.

This has been a very disarming story, for lack of better words. That is a very good thing, because that really should be the primary goal of shifting perspectives in stories. Even attempting to derive the true reality can become futile, but can also be part of the twisted fun. More so than ever, as far as we know, we see the true face of Budda, and its more clear than ever, probably, that he and his sister are perfect for each other. Kacy's turning into a really great character as well. OK, maybe tickle fights are kinda more silly to me than erotic, but things moved forward from there to more than what we were waiting for.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #33 on: May 08, 2019, 12:42:35 pm »
Part 4

Debbieís Hypnotic Cab Ride

One of a few in this batch I'd love to be part of! Yes, I know the first chapter is almost 18 years, and 9 months ago (Yes, this is significant), but it was short, so I went for it, and I'm glad I did. The first chapter, oh to be in that taxi, and I loved the way the second chapter told the story since then, leading to the literal climax to this section of the story. Oh fine, poor Beth, but otherwise... So where do I get some of that incense...?
High end of definitely enjoyed

I Have No Idea

I'm sure the author knows what I'm going to complain about, all those babies, and mother talk! :laugh: Yes, in truth, little here for me, as the mermaid tail, and underwater breathing lungs havent arrived yet! :angel:
Lets go no rating, taste issues only

The Reality Schism

Pretty well summed up by the synopsis in truth. To be honest, I'm not sure what he does to deserve the honour, but I cant deny, the start when he's testing it out is amusing, until the start of overkill, with cock length. In truth from there, it goes downhill in the obvious way. There are some neat reality changing moments, but most of them arent. But OK, if I could have that ring, and turn myself into a cute, skilled 30's dancer, then fine...but otherwise
Compromise? Low end of definitely enjoyed, probably being kind. Those who like silly reality changing stories will get more

Subroutine (Kallie)

Do me a favour, Harper, send me that virus, and send me the latex drone catsuit, please! I love the shall I, shan't I stuff, even if you know what she's going to do in the end. But yes, the end result is very nicely done
High end of definitely enjoyed. Virus, and catsuit, I promise to raise the mark before running it :angel:

Yew and Me

Talk about any amount of double, and even triple dealing going on here. As for where developments go from here, hmm? As for Svetlana's conversion, oh please... that was delightful. Would I enjoy that done to me? What do you think? :angel: Oh, and the story is brilliant, regardless.
Yes, enough conversion given here for low end of much enjoyed

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Offline Pan

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Re: New Releases-May 4th 2019
« Reply #34 on: May 08, 2019, 12:56:42 pm »
Pan's Hierarchy of Needs continues on it's wicked way and I'm so glad to see it back. Pan uses a very original style of mind control here as Jacob continues to change, corrupt and conquer preternaturally gorgeous sister Ashley.

Not only is the story unusual in its methods but the MC and slow changes going on are just top shelf. Pan is a master of this and Hierarchy is one of his better efforts at it. That's saying a lot considering his awesome body of great works.

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Offline 321

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #35 on: May 08, 2019, 01:26:45 pm »
Hostel (mc ff) (1 new chapter)  by 321
Rebeccaís trip to Berlin takes an interesting turn.

In the interest of being totally transparent, I dove into this story based on both the reviews in this update thread plus the praise Iíve seen for some of 321ís other stories in my sporadic poking at previous update threads this year. Iím enough of a sucker for slow burns that Iím going to say Iím willing to look past my hypo-squick. (Someday, Iím going to be forced to admit to myself itís not really a squick.)

Without spoiling too much, Iíll say this plays with some of my favorite EMC themes, and the characters, setting, and associated world building are absolutely enthralling. I love the mindfuckery and Rebeccaís POV, and even (yes) the hypnosis/trance sequences.

I think CerebusOne mentioned something about 321 writing intricate and cerebral stories. That absolutely fits and is indeed the major appeal for me. I love how Iím left satisfied by the action and also left wondering whatís going to come next. Sometimes, I want a story where I'm not entirely confident I know where things are going, because part of the pleasure is, in essence, submitting to the author's vision. I may have ideas where things will go, and if I turn out to be right, Iíll give myself a smug pat on the back. But if Iím wrong, Iíll probably be delighted by the twists. Usually it takes me a couple of stories before I'm willing to extend that much trust to a new-to-me author, but in two chapters, 321 has convinced me it's worth extending trust for this story.

So thank you, 321 for the delightful read! And thank you to everyone whoís commented on Hostel in this tread, because yaíll finally pushed me over the reading edge.

Wow! Thank you so much for the kind words! Iím glad that you enjoyed the story so far, and I hope that you enjoy the upcoming chapters as well.  :)

Offline mr potestas

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #36 on: May 08, 2019, 01:55:52 pm »
Parasites Infect (mc ff) (new)  by Chrysostomon
Alien parasites begin to spread among the female population.

Alien parasites infecting women? That fits my interests ;) I did get that subtly old school, alien invasion vibe from the start. I just love the old fashioned trope of a couple normal people most certainly about to experience something truly otherworldly. Doesn't have to be sex generally, but this is erotica after all (not really much sex here, ironically). Not to mention that the Australia setting invokes the positive memories Australia's occasional sci-fi output. Ultimately, this mostly just had its fun with many familiar sci-fi horror tropes. It did become a bit predictable and repetitive, as a result, but that might be just an issue with the serial recruitment theme. Otherwise quick and overall fun read.

Offline ExtantElan

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #37 on: May 08, 2019, 05:48:35 pm »
Properly Handled (mc mf ff md fd in) (2 new chapters)  by Extantelan
A brother and sister grow closer over a shared love of mind control and other various kinks and perversions.

This has been a very disarming story, for lack of better words. That is a very good thing, because that really should be the primary goal of shifting perspectives in stories. Even attempting to derive the true reality can become futile, but can also be part of the twisted fun. More so than ever, as far as we know, we see the true face of Budda, and its more clear than ever, probably, that he and his sister are perfect for each other. Kacy's turning into a really great character as well. OK, maybe tickle fights are kinda more silly to me than erotic, but things moved forward from there to more than what we were waiting for.


First, I want to sincerely thank you for the input you've given since I started this series, it is the only feedback I've gotten and  I appreciate it. It is interesting that you mention true faces because I had already written in the next installment about a moment where a mask slips..  :P   anyway I had decided before to conclude the story in two weeks (I have other ideas I want to start working on plus full time job means I am getting antsy) but to do all that would require too great a suspension of disbelief to get where I want this to end, and I think it would disappoint you, seemingly this story's only fan. So, I will state now, just so you know I am not cheating later on, everyone in the story is more complex then so far indicated.

Offline Writer345

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #38 on: May 09, 2019, 02:41:30 am »

Yew and Me

Talk about any amount of double, and even triple dealing going on here. As for where developments go from here, hmm? As for Svetlana's conversion, oh please... that was delightful. Would I enjoy that done to me? What do you think? :angel: Oh, and the story is brilliant, regardless.
Yes, enough conversion given here for low end of much enjoyed


Thanks for the vote of confidence, Merry - by now you will realise that this is something that I lack, particularly where my writing is concerned.  I'm pleased (and relieved) that you enjoyed this key chapter as I thought that I had gone 'way OTT with the complexity and descrptions.

Actually I'm going for realism and if all is going to plan, Valantina Karpova is twenty-one years old this year...  And the rest is (or will be) history at some time in the future...  If you like, I'll email her on your behalf so then all you will need to do is to hang in there and she'll get around to you eventually! - Тогда это будет привет, веселый дрон!
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Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #39 on: May 09, 2019, 09:24:21 am »
Loved the chapter, always love these stories where things dont go entirely as you would assume they would, and a few of those here, for sure.

As to Miss Karpova getting back to me, I might have a lifespan issue by then. I'm already 61, so getting to the wrong end of life anyway, and on top of that, been reading on medical websites that the seizures I 'almost certainly' had (no one wants to give me the full details, probably wisely) can take up to 10 years off my life. So she might need to work quicker than planned, lol :laugh:
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Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #40 on: May 09, 2019, 04:52:43 pm »
Part 5

Binding Rings

Well, I'd rather he focused on Emma too, but the author is clearly more into the incest stuff, ah well... Mind, I'd like to see Emma in charge of him, but anyway... :laugh: Great story, shame about the incest fixation
Low end of definitely enjoyed as a compromise

Fortunes Told

Technically a couple that had sex in 2002 had an 18 year old daughter in 2019, but other than that, its a lovely story. Oh find, the cuckold on him was turn off, but that was my only real fault, beyond the need for an edit
Definitely enjoyed

It Runs in the Family

Another where if it wasnt for the incest, it would get better marks. Loved the various play offs between Connie, and her host family, some of the logic in that was just crazy, but fun.
Definitely enjoyed

Whatever Gets You Through The Night

Why not just get Colleen to go to Naples with the letter, as no one would show any interest her going on a company plane? But other than that...The play off between the good folk here is great, the play off between the bad folk reminded me of those 'Hitler videos' you see spoofing on You Tube, in truth. And as for the ending, that could cause events to occur! :angel:
High end of definitely enjoyed

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Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #41 on: May 10, 2019, 05:07:28 pm »
Last batch

Hot Blood: Sexiness and Lust in a Silicon Valley Startup

Loving this, just loving this. If I was still 'work capable', I would love a job under Lavinia, probably quite literally! :laugh: Its very entertaining stuff, in all directions, and anyone planning sabotage, I wouldnt bother! :laugh:
Low end of much enjoyed. I swear Lavinia talked me into that mark! :laugh:

In the Beginning

Oh, and loved this too, poor Ahn deserves all the love, and help she can get. All so beautifully told, and done. One for those who love the sweet end of MC
Low end of much enjoyed.

Lawful Orders

One of those I shouldnt love (Poor Emily), but fine, I did. Also shouldnt love due to Controller being so unlikeable, but anyway... Yes, fine, those implants sound great
High end of definitely enjoyed

Simon Says (Chrysostomon)

Alright, I enjoyed the initial incest more than I should, but then it went downhill very quickly, with assault, and verbal abuse, so I bailed out quickly.
No rating, major taste issues

Thats it for this week, thanks as always to all authors, reviewed or not
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Offline 321

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #42 on: May 10, 2019, 07:54:44 pm »
I must say that I am absolutely loving the dual narrative in Paperback. Our narrator has expanded from being just a kid with an MC fetish, prone to being disappointed at mainstream MC media (like so many of us!) to being a mind controller himself! It's also obvious that he is telling this story to someone who may not be in a position to walk away or refuse to listen... I love how the narration has turned, almost without our even noticing it, from genial adolescent remembrance to actual Bond villain soliloquy. Wonderful stuff.

And then, on top of that, you have the story's beautiful heroine totally under the control of her friend and partner, with more than a hint of more evil deeds to come. Cannot wait to see what happens to Stella next!

Mrs. Mason had me laughing out loud in this week's installment of Magical Girl Syn. Oh, parents and their expectations! If only she knew what was really going on, lol! Meanwhile, there's a battle of wills between Carice and Feitciero. Some great scenes here, and a setup for a couple of future showdowns between various characters.

Debbie's Hypnotic Cab Ride Redux makes me wonder what kind of story I might write in 2036 about Kate Pendleton's adult child.  :)
What an interesting and fantastic way to revise an old story, even if it makes me feel a bit old just reading it!

(To be fair, Witchman has revisited this story in the past, most recently with the also-excellent The Hypnotic Cab Ride 2012 in, well, you know...)

Offline fumanchu

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #43 on: May 10, 2019, 11:28:48 pm »
Thanks, 321.   The dual narrative was both fun and challenging.
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Offline CuyahogaKingKong

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #44 on: May 11, 2019, 06:27:45 am »
Thanks Merry! 
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Offline Stageshow27

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #45 on: May 11, 2019, 12:23:59 pm »
I posted my first story in 9 years, and not one single review. :-(  Is my writing that poor, or was the title just so uninteresting that no one even read it? I would love some constructive feedback...

Offline Shadra

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #46 on: May 11, 2019, 01:01:07 pm »
I posted my first story in 9 years, and not one single review. :-(  Is my writing that poor, or was the title just so uninteresting that no one even read it? I would love some constructive feedback...

I kind of know how that feels in a way, so I'm sorry you had to experience it. Please don't take a lack of mention too seriously, there are likely plenty of people that enjoyed it that just never let it be known.

That said, I personally find male-male stories a bit of a squick (kind of my only one, to be honest...). It might be the same for the other people that regularly take the time to review things.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #47 on: May 12, 2019, 11:44:07 am »
I posted my first story in 9 years, and not one single review. :-(  Is my writing that poor, or was the title just so uninteresting that no one even read it? I would love some constructive feedback...

Sorry, its just that mm is of zero interest to me, so I dont even look at it, in truth
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Offline Stageshow27

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #48 on: May 12, 2019, 09:27:58 pm »
Interesting... I honestly never thought about how the story would be listed and categorized. I set out to write about stage hypnosis, and thought this was an interesting direction for the story. I hope those who enjoy stage hypnosis will enjoy the story regardless of the gender dynamics. At least that's what I look for in a story... the characters come second to the mind control. Perhaps that's just me.

Offline ExtantElan

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Re: May the Fourth Be With You Update, 2019
« Reply #49 on: May 12, 2019, 09:52:09 pm »
Interesting... I honestly never thought about how the story would be listed and categorized. I set out to write about stage hypnosis, and thought this was an interesting direction for the story. I hope those who enjoy stage hypnosis will enjoy the story regardless of the gender dynamics. At least that's what I look for in a story... the characters come second to the mind control. Perhaps that's just me.

I'd wager the vast majority of people read this style of erotica because they want to picture themselves either as a controller or controlee in a scenario. As notions, fantasies are particular. That said, don't feel bad. Currently I am serializing a story here with incest and wasn't aware that despite it apparently being incredibly popular genre, few want to admit to reading that category. Be it here or privately through email. My suggestion would be to start posting it elsewhere as well, increase the distribution (particularly to sites catering to m/m erotica) you should see more feedback I think.