Author Topic: New Releases-March 9th 2019  (Read 7991 times)

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Offline Majorwrll

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New Releases-March 9th 2019
« on: March 09, 2019, 12:13:37 pm »
(NOTE: You can QUOTE this posting, and then copy each set of <Title, Link, Tags, Colors and Description> in one chunk, for use in your review postings here)


You can now download the BBCode version of the What’s New page at https://mcstories.com/WhatsNew.txt

Action Force: The Annachurian Candidate (mc mf ff md fd) (1 new chapter)  by 321
While handling what seems to be a routine kidnapping case, a trio of sexy private investigators uncover a diabolical mind control conspiracy.

Addicted (mc ff) (new)  by MoldedMind
Laurie successfully quits smoking with the help of some self-hypnosis recordings. But can she keep her craving for trance a secret from her pushy and demanding coworker, Jane?

Binding Rings (mc mf md in) (1 new chapter)  by Sidia
A chance discovery changes a young man’s life—and not always for the better.

But I Don’t Really Want This (mc mf md fd gr hm) (1 new chapter)  by Pomelo
Will and Nicole find their relationship changing again in at first subtle and then not-so-subtle ways.

Cascade Fire (mc mf fd la) (1 new chapter)  by MɛtaBob
Torn from his family, a man without a mind continues learning and sharing magic and more with beautiful women.

College Undercover (mc mf md) (1 new chapter)  by Greyscribbler
Carol goes undercover to find out what happened to missing college girls.

Diary of a Hypnotist (mc mf md) (1 new chapter)  by Atte. Akisa
A hypnotist recounts his exploits, both present and past, for the benefit of posterity.

Digitized Submission (mc ff hm ft ds sf) (new)  by Simurgh42
Abigail turns her friend’s spoiled daughter into her foot worshipping servant using a new virtual reality game.

Editing Reality Book One: Naughty Fantasies Created (mc mf gr in ts) (1 new chapter)  by mypenname3000
Steve gets a phone app that lets him edit other people.

Emilia’s Exorcism (mc mf ff md fd ma bd ex) (2 new chapters)  by malsagulo
A deal with a tech-savvy witch unexpectedly gives a cranky young librarian the ability to tap into the mind of an insatiable slut. Plain, anti-social Emilia soon experiences levels of pleasure beyond her wildest dreams, thanks to a magical link with party girl and whore-for-fun Katya. But can she maintain control—or will she be consumed entirely by the sensual new world she’s discovered?

Fallen Angela (mc ff mf fd gr) (new)  by Cassie the Friendly Succubus
Angela is the reigning Queen Bee of Valley High, until the day rebellious Rachel enters Angela’s turf and threaten her exalted position. But getting rid Rachel is not as easy as Angela thought it would be, and soon Angela finds herself questioning why she’d even want to do so.

4 U 2 B Free (mc mf ff md fd) (new)  by Jukebox
4U and her Master undertake a daring gambit to free Service Unit 2B from her old conditioning and return her to her old life. But can anyone ever be truly free of the grip of MKPerfect’s brainwashing?

Good Dummy (mc mf fd) (new)  by Deeplychris
Topher doesn’t look where he’s going when he’s at the mall, but an authoritative voice makes sure he is sorry for his transgression.

The Hash (mc ma md ds ex) (1 new chapter)  by Angel Raymond
Jen likes to explore, using the chaos of a hash function to visit random places. But this game becomes more interesting than just mathematics when it leads her to meet a mysterious hypnotist on a small island.

Help! I’m Trapped In A Romantic Visual Novel! (mc ff) (1 new chapter)  by HypnoticHarlequin
After testing out a strange new VR game, Payton finds herself trapped in a visual novel centered around a very odd school. Can Payton escape with her mind intact?

In A Dream (mc ff bd cb) (1 new chapter)  by Madam Kistulot
Rose couldn’t be happier living in Chronos with Gemini.

Laser Tag Party (mc ff) (new)  by Scalar Seventh
Sam Miller just wants to have a fun bachelorette party with her friends. And what could be more fun than ordering pizza, renting out the local laser tag business for the day, and getting everyone Altered to boot?

Letting Down Easy (mc mf fd in la) (new)  by CryHavoc
After enough months of fantasizing about her brother, sometimes a girl just has to make a move.

Losers Can’t Be Choosers (mc mf fd hm) (1 new chapter)  by S. B.
As much as he enjoys it, Jonah knows he’s addicted to femdom humiliation. Perhaps his sister Angela, a skilled hypnotherapist, can help him with that.

Magical Girl Syn (mc mf ff md gr) (1 new chapter)  by Jennifer Kohl
Cynthia’s magical powers are unlocked at the age of eighteen, but along with them comes a terrible curse. Wait a minute—is it really so terrible?

Making a Good Thing Better (mc mf ff md bd gr la) (1 new chapter)  by HB5211
Jeremy and Lara are a young married couple happy with each other, but always look for ways to improve their relationship. When they see an ad for a couples weekend promising a relationship enriching experience, they could not resist. The question remains, will they be able to handle the changes in store for them when the weekend is over.

Muscle Bimbo (mc ff) (1 new chapter)  by Kallie
The nerdy, plain, shy Alex asks goth girl Winter out on a date, only to be told she’s not her type. But after that, Alex finds herself changing.

Power Spot (mc mf md) (new)  by The Sympathetic Devil
A man with little control over his own body discovers a spot in his brain that lets him control others.

Punk Will Eat Itself (mc mf ff md) (new)  by Mind-Control-Makeover
An all-woman punk band lets a fan buy them dinner. He spikes it with a serum that makes the four musicians very suggestible.

Return of the Armored Warrior (mc ff md fd) (new)  by J. Darksong
Erika Patrick, daughter of Tina Patrick, has moved to River City to make a new life for herself. She soon learns that things are a lot rougher in River City than back home in New York, but when Shining Paladin runs into trouble, she finds a mentor, someone who will take her under his wing, and together, they might not only rekindle an old legacy, they might even surpass it.

A Rose Forever After... (mc mf ff fd) (new)  by Carefully Random
The FBI have been on the lookout for an elusive suspect that, rumour has it, can alter peoples’ behaviours wherever she goes.  Wanted for kidnapping, theft, and other state and federal crimes, the trail has always gone cold for investigators so far.  When a potential witness and victim turns up at a Midwestern police station, the closest available agents rush to find out what they can, before it’s too late.

61 Days in River City (mc mf cb) (new)  by Betsy Leohtar
SureShot has a contract to kill Alicia. Sonia intends to stop him, even if she has to kill him, because she wants to kill Alicia herself. All the supers in River City are no help to Sonia at all.

Speed Queen (mc mf md gr cb) (new)  by TheHandsThatLead
Speed Queen has been captured by the villainousness Return to Sender, but where is he and why does something seem to be off?

Spellthief Stolen — Song & Sight (mc ff mf fd) (new)  by Meleva
All Melody has to do is take a week off. Leave the tower, find a thief, and break some spells. Just a relaxing sabbatical. Nothing simpler.

This Is Our Story (mc mf md) (1 new chapter)  by Ice Bear
Connor, the editor-in-chief of the high school yearbook, discovers that edits he makes to the yearbook come true in real life.

This Job Bites (mc ff md fd) (1 new chapter)  by Sleepy Hypno
Kelli goes in for a job interview with the mysterious Alan Card.

The Triumphs of the Past (mc mf ma) (1 new chapter)  by Maximilian Cummings
The classic car that Eric obtains seems to have an effect on the women around or in it.

The Ultimate Form (mc mf md gr in) (1 new chapter)  by MindSpark
A washed-up loser is chosen to be the subject of a military nanite experiment.

Unlimited (mc mf md in) (1 new chapter)  by Pan
A hypnotist recounts the final sessions with his sister.

Come On Zion.
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Offline 321

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2019, 01:36:17 pm »
"I mustn’t eat too many of them.” She shuddered at the memory.

I think we all did, Vicky. I think we all did.  :grin:

61 Days in River City promises to be just as fun as Betsy Visits River City. Can't wait to see what happens next.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2019, 04:49:41 pm by 321 »

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2019, 03:55:48 pm »
"I mustn’t eat too many of them.” She shuddered at the memory.

I think we all did, Vicky. I think we all did.  :grin:

61 Days in Reiver City promises to be just as fun as Betsy Visits River City. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Yes, I'm looking forward to seeing that tomorrow
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Offline CryHavoc

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2019, 04:33:07 pm »
My first story is in here! Looking forward to some more feedback!

Offline CerebusOne

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2019, 04:40:54 pm »
Some of the stories I got to to read:

Kallie's Muscle Bimbo one of my all time favorite dark stories returns with a new chapter. Man I thought the last chapter with the sorority girls was intense. It was nothing compared to what happened here. A professor from Alex's college finds her in a carnal mess and tries to talk to her, find out what is happening to her, maybe help her.

But Alex is more than having her body changed by Winter, her mind is too and she shows in this chapter she is becoming malicious, just like her master-lover.

What eventually happens between Alex, now Lexi and Professor Sinclair is a tour de force of dark mind control. Just amazing writing. Kallie is killing this story. If you like dark MC this thing is burning up. Great plot, terrific characters, hero and villain, sub characters and the MC and sex is on fire.


And of course we have the great 321's equally awesome Annachurian Candidate.

Somehow I missed it last on this site last week so this review is about really about the whole story so far.

First off, what a great name for a story with the victim being Anna and the subject MC intrigue and murder.

But 321 never leaves something on just one plane and her the story is not only engrossing but a 70's style TV show! 321 hits all the tropes of the genre spot on, three hot girl investigators, with their their own skill sets, of course. I kept waiting for Bosely to show up. Oh, wait, was that another show?

The setup and plot are so riveting, pulls you right in. And then good old 321 throws a curve ball with right at the start.....which is not only great for the plot but sooooo hot.

Max's out of left field line, "I think I love you," will get your blood pumping real good.

At the end of chapter two there is a nice pool scene with villain and new 'accomplices' and things are looking a bit bleak.

321 you are so versatile and sophisticated in the very different stories you do.

Just like a TV show, we will have to wait a week to find out more. UGH!!

Scribblers College Undercover really took a big plot turn this week I didn't see coming. Won't spoil it for anyone and I'm too lazy to use the spoiler thingy today but one of the huge meeting/confrontations we have been waiting on and wanting for a long time happened. Wainwright meets the dead Carol.

What stems from that is so very good, so interesting and also sad.

Great development from a great writer in a great story. Love it.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2019, 02:57:43 pm by CerebusOne »

Offline gyrd

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2019, 04:43:18 pm »
An outstanding installment of "This Is Our Story".  Connor finally starts using his mind control tool to control minds and it is hot.

Did I miss something about the teacher?  Did he do something to control her in a past installment, something that he's not aware of?  Or is she just Mary Kay LeTourneau?

Offline Fortunato

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2019, 05:00:13 pm »
Digitized Submission is off to a good start. I don't care about the MCer's point-of-view as much, but that's a personal preference. As long as Crystal's descent is gradual, it could quickly become a top favorite for me.

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For the love of God, Montresor!

Kinks
Mind control, feet, shoes, maids (especially with outrageous French accents), race changes (especially with any dodgy accents), transformations, total identity losses, reluctance/resistance, humiliation, IQ loss, dehumanization, stuck costumes/uniforms/clothes, and forced servitude.

Offline gyrd

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2019, 07:01:40 pm »
Figured that at some point the other shoe would drop re: Carol's secret identity in "College Undercover".  It did this week.  I hope this story doesn't end with Carol getting killed by the mob.  I also hope Janice gets pulled back into hooking at some point.

Terrific update to "Binding Rings".  Been waiting a long time for the hero to finally bang his mom and he finally did.  Very well built-up and executed.

Offline Dreamweaver

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2019, 08:37:29 pm »
An outstanding installment of "This Is Our Story".  Connor finally starts using his mind control tool to control minds and it is hot.

Did I miss something about the teacher?  Did he do something to control her in a past installment, something that he's not aware of?  Or is she just Mary Kay LeTourneau?

Loved TIOS too!

My working theory on his teacher:
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
The Invitation is now available on Amazon!

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Offline gyrd

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2019, 11:25:47 pm »
^I'm gonna have to go back and review that.  There must be something somewhere to explain why Miss C is getting all slutty.

Offline Akisa

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2019, 01:44:33 am »
Quote
Letting Down Easy (mc mf fd in la) (new)  by CryHavoc
After enough months of fantasizing about her brother, sometimes a girl just has to make a move.

I think I would have enjoyed it more if it had more space. The paragraphs are separated into smaller paragraphs.

I am not the one to judge the work of another. I do not specialize in that. The stories of a woman hypnotized boy, have rarely managed to connect me.

I think that, perhaps there should be a more descriptive emphasis on the girl's desire for man. When a hypnosis story is written of a man hypnotizing a woman, in general, the attributes of the woman are described, adding desire.

And this last in this kind of stories can be used, show why you want your brother so much, is it his physical? Describe him. Is it his attitude or behavior? Show it in how you talk to her and treat her. Is it the fetish of incest? Extend all you need, in demonstrating that enormous desire of her, can be with picardy thoughts about what she would do with her brother.

This is a good example of how to put the focus of desire on man, up to a point:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er2_IWaQoQw
Lynch does an excellent sensory job, and D.H.Lawrence's phrase complements perfectly. I leave the paragraph to which belongs to 'Women in love'.


Her fingers went over the mould of his face, over his features. How perfect and foreign he was—ah how dangerous! Her soul thrilled with complete knowledge. This was the glistening, forbidden apple, this face of a man. She kissed him, putting her fingers over his face, his eyes, his nostrils, over his brows and his ears, to his neck, to know him, to gather him in by touch. He was so firm, and shapely, with such satisfying, inconceivable shapeliness, strange, yet unutterably clear. He was such an unutterable enemy, yet glistening with uncanny white fire. She wanted to touch him and touch him and touch him, till she had him all in her hands, till she had strained him into her knowledge. Ah, if she could have the precious KNOWLEDGE of him, she would be filled, and nothing could deprive her of this. For he was so unsure, so risky in the common world of day.
‘You are so BEAUTIFUL,’ she murmured in her throat.



Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

In summary, explain the movements of the sister, by walking, while hypnosis occurs, gives more fluidity to the story.

I feel that if this improves, the sequels or the next stories can be quite good.

Good luck, CryHacov.

Quote
Addicted (mc ff) (new)  by MoldedMind
Laurie successfully quits smoking with the help of some self-hypnosis recordings. But can she keep her craving for trance a secret from her pushy and demanding coworker, Jane?

I loved it, the indirect hypnosis, the astuteness of one of the girls to have control of the other. she falls into her own well. Her deep well of trance. I hope you make a second part that involves both girls.

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2019, 01:57:51 am by Akisa »
You can already feel the goddess flow through and around you, like a liquid, a smell, a moment lost in time.

Diary of a Hypnotist

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Offline Ice Bear

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2019, 01:57:07 am »
An outstanding installment of "This Is Our Story".  Connor finally starts using his mind control tool to control minds and it is hot.

Did I miss something about the teacher?  Did he do something to control her in a past installment, something that he's not aware of?  Or is she just Mary Kay LeTourneau?

Loved TIOS too!

My working theory on his teacher:
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

My days of assigning reading homework are long behind me. For those who don't feel like doing the hunt themselves (and who could blame you):
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
Glad you're enjoying. :D

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2019, 10:26:44 am »
Getting started

The Hash

Its always a good point when you have good characters, and a good rapport between them. Yes, we have plenty of that here. I would say poor Jen, with the panties stuff, but I get the feeling she enjoys stuff like that, almost as much as she likes Eric? Another good chapter here.
High end of definitely enjoyed

Losers Can’t Be Choosers

I guess as long as Gail gets her just desserts in the end (ideally from Mistress Clarissa!), I'll live with her antics. :laugh: Plenty of tangled webs here, and the meeting between Angela, and Jonah, and Gail should be interesting, given the situation. Or will it be Mary that turns the tables, hmm?
Definitely enjoyed. Cant give high end, Gail would assume it was for her! :P

Magical Girl Syn

I'm still hoping Ruthie gets to help to save the day at some point? Some secret super power released by accident, or anger, maybe? The whole Siren thing was cleverly done too, I must say.
High end of definitely enjoyed

Return of the Armored Warrior

Hmm, the vampire at the end. Gwen, maybe? I wouldnt mind one of those suits for myself, if there's a spare one going, lol? Loved all the insect villains, thats for sure. Interesting start to what will clearly be a longer story.
High end of definitely enjoyed

This Job Bites

Seriously, a job where you get bitten, and get to bite as a vampire, tell me where to sign up for this employee orientation! Certainly plenty of intrigue going on here, and definitely looking forward to more. Ooh, bite me Mistress, or Master! ;)
High end of definitely enjoyed

More to follow
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Offline buster

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #13 on: March 10, 2019, 01:47:29 pm »
Addicted by MoldedMind.

Okay, just wanted to give this one a hand for being deliciously evil and still so much fun. Love the induction at the end.  Drop for me.  Yum.
I'm on smashwords as buster4mc. Wrote a whole lot of non-mc stuff too, but not letting that pen name get out.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2019, 05:49:02 pm »
Part 2

But I Don’t Really Want This

Fine, if Will carries on more like this, I might look on him a bit more kindly again. I'd actually forgotten Nicole was French, to be honest. :facepalm: As I say, I liked the play offs, and banter between the 2 far more this week, but I assume still enough humiliation for those who like that sort of thing?
High end of definitely enjoyed

Fallen Angela

Its summed up by the fact that though Rachel is hardly likeable, I still prefer her, by far, to Angela! Mind, I might warm to Rachel if she only picks on Angela! Its amusing so far, I suspect things will warm up more next time
High end of definitely enjoyed

4 U 2 B Free

Jukebox plays to my loves with these sorts of stories, as the thought of being a controlled drone appeals to me no end. Loved the ending with 2B, is she a plant, is she going to do the dirty on those who tried to help her, who knows? Cant wait to find out mind. As well written as ever
High end of definitely enjoyed

61 Days in River City

A sequel to Betsy's last River City story, seemingly. Its entertaining, both with the 2 carry over characters, and the new ones as well. Mr J D Arksong, no idea where she got that name from? :laugh: I have the feeling this is going to be a fun piece
High end of definitely enjoyed

Speed Queen

Oh please, I wouldnt mind being restrained to that contraption at least a couple of times too. Not that 60 year old's make for sexy dancers, but besides that...? :angel: A very fun piece to read, from a very good author
High end of definitely enjoyed. More, when offered a session on the 'contraption'! ;)

More tomorrow, I hope
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Offline SB

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #15 on: March 10, 2019, 06:10:03 pm »

Losers Can’t Be Choosers

I guess as long as Gail gets her just desserts in the end (ideally from Mistress Clarissa!), I'll live with her antics. :laugh: Plenty of tangled webs here, and the meeting between Angela, and Jonah, and Gail should be interesting, given the situation. Or will it be Mary that turns the tables, hmm?
Definitely enjoyed. Cant give high end, Gail would assume it was for her! :P


I promised a happy ending and I'm going to keep that promise. In regards to what's coming, and without spoiling too much, I can say the following: Mary's role is pretty much done in the story as she was just the catalyst to get Angela back into full swing again. And yes, the upcoming meeting is interesting to say the least. To quote a famous recent movie: "We're in the endgame now." You'll like where it goes from here. Thank you for continuing to follow along, dear.
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Offline CryHavoc

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #16 on: March 10, 2019, 06:58:19 pm »
Quote
Letting Down Easy (mc mf fd in la) (new)  by CryHavoc
After enough months of fantasizing about her brother, sometimes a girl just has to make a move.

I think I would have enjoyed it more if it had more space. The paragraphs are separated into smaller paragraphs.

I am not the one to judge the work of another. I do not specialize in that. The stories of a woman hypnotized boy, have rarely managed to connect me.

I think that, perhaps there should be a more descriptive emphasis on the girl's desire for man. When a hypnosis story is written of a man hypnotizing a woman, in general, the attributes of the woman are described, adding desire.

And this last in this kind of stories can be used, show why you want your brother so much, is it his physical? Describe him. Is it his attitude or behavior? Show it in how you talk to her and treat her. Is it the fetish of incest? Extend all you need, in demonstrating that enormous desire of her, can be with picardy thoughts about what she would do with her brother.

This is a good example of how to put the focus of desire on man, up to a point:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er2_IWaQoQw
Lynch does an excellent sensory job, and D.H.Lawrence's phrase complements perfectly. I leave the paragraph to which belongs to 'Women in love'.


Her fingers went over the mould of his face, over his features. How perfect and foreign he was—ah how dangerous! Her soul thrilled with complete knowledge. This was the glistening, forbidden apple, this face of a man. She kissed him, putting her fingers over his face, his eyes, his nostrils, over his brows and his ears, to his neck, to know him, to gather him in by touch. He was so firm, and shapely, with such satisfying, inconceivable shapeliness, strange, yet unutterably clear. He was such an unutterable enemy, yet glistening with uncanny white fire. She wanted to touch him and touch him and touch him, till she had him all in her hands, till she had strained him into her knowledge. Ah, if she could have the precious KNOWLEDGE of him, she would be filled, and nothing could deprive her of this. For he was so unsure, so risky in the common world of day.
‘You are so BEAUTIFUL,’ she murmured in her throat.



Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

In summary, explain the movements of the sister, by walking, while hypnosis occurs, gives more fluidity to the story.

I feel that if this improves, the sequels or the next stories can be quite good.

Good luck, CryHacov.

Quote
Addicted (mc ff) (new)  by MoldedMind
Laurie successfully quits smoking with the help of some self-hypnosis recordings. But can she keep her craving for trance a secret from her pushy and demanding coworker, Jane?

I loved it, the indirect hypnosis, the astuteness of one of the girls to have control of the other. she falls into her own well. Her deep well of trance. I hope you make a second part that involves both girls.

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Thank you so much for all this effort! It means a lot that you put all this down for me to review. And, it's exactly the kind of criticism I was looking for. TYSM!!

Offline CassietheFriendlySuccubus

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #17 on: March 10, 2019, 07:01:22 pm »


Fallen Angela

Its summed up by the fact that though Rachel is hardly likeable, I still prefer her, by far, to Angela! Mind, I might warm to Rachel if she only picks on Angela! Its amusing so far, I suspect things will warm up more next time
High end of definitely enjoyed

More tomorrow, I hope
Thank you for the feedback, Merry. Yeah, Angela is supposed to be a bitch at first - I was thinking of both Quinn from Glee and Cordelia from Buffy when I wrote her. But don't worry, she'll change her ways pretty soon, if you get my meaning  >:D

Once again, thanks for the feedback, and feel free to let me know more of what you thought! Everyone else as well. I want to improve.

Offline badpenny

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #18 on: March 10, 2019, 07:08:43 pm »
My first story is in here! Looking forward to some more feedback!

Congrats on your first story! It's a big step to submit. And it's exciting to see new names in the Recent Additions. :)

I agree with Akisa that it would be nice to have more paragraph breaks. Varying the paragraph lengths would help with pacing and reader fatigue. You've got some great bits in here that I nearly missed because I started skimming due to fatigue. I particularly liked how Grace was determined not to vary her routine despite her excitement and the care she takes with getting dressed and perfecting her make-up.

I wasn't expecting to like the lactation as much as I did! It's not one of my go-to kinks, but the way you describe how it felt for Grace plus the extra oomph the incest angle added really worked for me.

Offline CryHavoc

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #19 on: March 10, 2019, 07:14:17 pm »
My first story is in here! Looking forward to some more feedback!

Congrats on your first story! It's a big step to submit. And it's exciting to see new names in the Recent Additions. :)

I agree with Akisa that it would be nice to have more paragraph breaks. Varying the paragraph lengths would help with pacing and reader fatigue. You've got some great bits in here that I nearly missed because I started skimming due to fatigue. I particularly liked how Grace was determined not to vary her routine despite her excitement and the care she takes with getting dressed and perfecting her make-up.

I wasn't expecting to like the lactation as much as I did! It's not one of my go-to kinks, but the way you describe how it felt for Grace plus the extra oomph the incest angle added really worked for me.

So glad you liked it! Thanks for persevering through my long paragraphs despite my long windedness; I'll work on it.  :)

Offline TheHandsThatLead

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #20 on: March 10, 2019, 09:10:56 pm »
Speed Queen

Oh please, I wouldnt mind being restrained to that contraption at least a couple of times too. Not that 60 year old's make for sexy dancers, but besides that...? :angel: A very fun piece to read, from a very good author
High end of definitely enjoyed. More, when offered a session on the 'contraption'! ;)

Thanks Merry, I'm afraid the contraption is fully booked for the next few decades, but I'll let you know when it's free ;)
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Offline Akisa

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #21 on: March 11, 2019, 12:03:13 am »
Quote
Letting Down Easy (mc mf fd in la) (new)  by CryHavoc
After enough months of fantasizing about her brother, sometimes a girl just has to make a move.

I think I would have enjoyed it more if it had more space. The paragraphs are separated into smaller paragraphs.

I am not the one to judge the work of another. I do not specialize in that. The stories of a woman hypnotized boy, have rarely managed to connect me.

I think that, perhaps there should be a more descriptive emphasis on the girl's desire for man. When a hypnosis story is written of a man hypnotizing a woman, in general, the attributes of the woman are described, adding desire.

And this last in this kind of stories can be used, show why you want your brother so much, is it his physical? Describe him. Is it his attitude or behavior? Show it in how you talk to her and treat her. Is it the fetish of incest? Extend all you need, in demonstrating that enormous desire of her, can be with picardy thoughts about what she would do with her brother.

This is a good example of how to put the focus of desire on man, up to a point:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er2_IWaQoQw
Lynch does an excellent sensory job, and D.H.Lawrence's phrase complements perfectly. I leave the paragraph to which belongs to 'Women in love'.


Her fingers went over the mould of his face, over his features. How perfect and foreign he was—ah how dangerous! Her soul thrilled with complete knowledge. This was the glistening, forbidden apple, this face of a man. She kissed him, putting her fingers over his face, his eyes, his nostrils, over his brows and his ears, to his neck, to know him, to gather him in by touch. He was so firm, and shapely, with such satisfying, inconceivable shapeliness, strange, yet unutterably clear. He was such an unutterable enemy, yet glistening with uncanny white fire. She wanted to touch him and touch him and touch him, till she had him all in her hands, till she had strained him into her knowledge. Ah, if she could have the precious KNOWLEDGE of him, she would be filled, and nothing could deprive her of this. For he was so unsure, so risky in the common world of day.
‘You are so BEAUTIFUL,’ she murmured in her throat.



Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

In summary, explain the movements of the sister, by walking, while hypnosis occurs, gives more fluidity to the story.

I feel that if this improves, the sequels or the next stories can be quite good.

Good luck, CryHacov.

Quote
Addicted (mc ff) (new)  by MoldedMind
Laurie successfully quits smoking with the help of some self-hypnosis recordings. But can she keep her craving for trance a secret from her pushy and demanding coworker, Jane?

I loved it, the indirect hypnosis, the astuteness of one of the girls to have control of the other. she falls into her own well. Her deep well of trance. I hope you make a second part that involves both girls.

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Thank you so much for all this effort! It means a lot that you put all this down for me to review. And, it's exactly the kind of criticism I was looking for. TYSM!!

You're welcome. The attitude is, much encouragement in the next stories!
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Offline Pan

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #22 on: March 11, 2019, 12:16:24 am »
This week's College Undercover is incredible. I had no idea where the story could possibly go from here, and it just blew me away. Fantastic.
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Offline lifmcs

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #23 on: March 11, 2019, 01:06:39 am »
This week's College Undercover is incredible. I had no idea where the story could possibly go from here, and it just blew me away. Fantastic.

Fuck. I've been putting off reading this, because 'busy', or so I keep telling myself, but I should probably get all up on the bandwagon.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #24 on: March 11, 2019, 08:28:11 am »
Speed Queen

Oh please, I wouldnt mind being restrained to that contraption at least a couple of times too. Not that 60 year old's make for sexy dancers, but besides that...? :angel: A very fun piece to read, from a very good author
High end of definitely enjoyed. More, when offered a session on the 'contraption'! ;)

Thanks Merry, I'm afraid the contraption is fully booked for the next few decades, but I'll let you know when it's free ;)

At my age, and with my health, I'm not convinced about lasting 1 more decade, let alone a few, but thanks... :laugh:
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Offline Kore

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #25 on: March 11, 2019, 03:03:36 pm »
Some of the stories I got to to read:

Kallie's Muscle Bimbo one of my all time favorite dark stories returns with a new chapter. Man I thought the last chapter with the sorority girls was intense. It was nothing compared to what happened here. A professor from Alex's college finds her in a carnal mess and tries to talk to her, find out what is happening to her, maybe help her.

But Alex is more than having her body changed by Winter, her mind is too and she shows in this chapter she is becoming malicious, just like her master-lover.

What eventually happens between Alex, now Lexi and Professor Sinclair is a tour de force of dark mind control. Just amazing writing. Kallie is killing this story. If you like dark MC this thing is burning up. Great plot, terrific characters, hero and villain, sub characters and the MC and sex is on fire.

Agree with every word. Kallie is absolutely killing it with this series. The mix of it being a darker series where the victim became an enthusiastic parcitipant in their own downfall is a great combination. I had personally predicted that Sinclair would be the "turn" in the story that would lead to Winter, or at least Sierra, getting busted and I'm happy to be wrong. Can't wait to see where it goes next.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #26 on: March 11, 2019, 05:39:02 pm »
Part 3

Action Force: The Annachurian Candidate

Another cracking chapter in this script, sorry, story. Dear Livvy thought she'd got away, but then she found out that maybe someone had got to others first. What a wonderful way to submit, mind.
High end of definitely enjoyed

Addicted

Oh fine, I had a feeling I was going to hate the outcome here, and yes, I was right. Not saying more, go read it, and work out why for yourself. Fun method of hypnosis getting someone into issues, thats for sure
Definitely enjoyed

Emilia’s Exorcism

A few twists and turns here, between Emilia, and the witch. Clever turn on the Katya front, for sure. Seriously, if that witch can send me the silver paint, and the right planning...? :angel: Clever ending
High end of definitely enjoyed

Making a Good Thing Better

Usual thing here, loving the vampire stuff, hating the pregnancy stuff. I could do with an infusion of youth, I must admit!
Compromise? Definitely enjoyed

Power Spot

Wish Benjamin (shouldnt it have been William/Bill, for Hickok?) could give me a makeover like that, would love to be young (again), and pretty (first time) in my life. Rest of it is an entertaining piece, where everybody seems to benefit.
High end of definitely enjoyed

More tomorrow
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Offline grey_shadow

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #27 on: March 11, 2019, 08:03:41 pm »
Quote
Addicted (mc ff) (new)  by MoldedMind
Laurie successfully quits smoking with the help of some self-hypnosis recordings. But can she keep her craving for trance a secret from her pushy and demanding coworker, Jane?

I loved it, the indirect hypnosis, the astuteness of one of the girls to have control of the other. she falls into her own well. Her deep well of trance. I hope you make a second part that involves both girls.

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Regarding the spoiler:

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
"Who do you serve, and who do you trust?" - Galen, Crusade

Looking for female subject(s) to explore hypnosis. PM me if you're interested.

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Offline malsagulo

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #28 on: March 11, 2019, 08:20:47 pm »
Emilia’s Exorcism
A few twists and turns here, between Emilia, and the witch. Clever turn on the Katya front, for sure. Seriously, if that witch can send me the silver paint, and the right planning...? :angel: Clever ending
High end of definitely enjoyed

So you liked the twist, then? :) Excellent. Thank you for reading.

In case this wasn't immediately clear, that's a wrap for this story. (It only occurred to me today that I didn't put a "The End" in there... but, eh, probably not necessary anyway.) Would appreciate hearing everyone's thoughts on the piece now that it's complete.
« Last Edit: March 11, 2019, 08:28:30 pm by malsagulo »

Offline lifmcs

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #29 on: March 12, 2019, 01:59:50 am »
College Undercover

If proponents of Manifest Destiny were to read this week’s chapter... “Stop, my penis can only get so erect.”

Offline 321

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #30 on: March 12, 2019, 03:46:12 am »
I've just realized that, given that Jukebox's 4 U 2 B Free revolves around Service Unit 2B's life and identity...

...ultimately, the theme of this story is...

...2B, or not 2B? 

:grin:

Offline greyscribbler

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #31 on: March 12, 2019, 04:04:14 pm »
Scribblers College Undercover really took a big plot turn this week I didn't see coming. Won't spoil it for anyone and I'm too lazy to use the spoiler thingy today but one of the huge meeting/confrontations we have been waiting on and wanting for a long time happened. Wainwright meets the dead Carol.

What stems from that is so very good, so interesting and also sad.

Great development from a great writer in a great story. Love it.

Thanks CerebusOne.  It was something that had to happen.

Figured that at some point the other shoe would drop re: Carol's secret identity in "College Undercover".  It did this week.  I hope this story doesn't end with Carol getting killed by the mob.  I also hope Janice gets pulled back into hooking at some point.

Thanks Gyrd.  We'll be seeing Janice again in the next update.  To say anything about Carol's ultimate fate would be too much of a spoiler.

This week's College Undercover is incredible. I had no idea where the story could possibly go from here, and it just blew me away. Fantastic.

Thanks Pan.  Glad you're enjoying it.

And thanks to Lifmcs for the mention as well

Greyscribbler

Offline Akisa

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #32 on: March 12, 2019, 04:27:45 pm »
Quote
Addicted (mc ff) (new)  by MoldedMind
Laurie successfully quits smoking with the help of some self-hypnosis recordings. But can she keep her craving for trance a secret from her pushy and demanding coworker, Jane?

I loved it, the indirect hypnosis, the astuteness of one of the girls to have control of the other. she falls into her own well. Her deep well of trance. I hope you make a second part that involves both girls.

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Regarding the spoiler:

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Thanks Grey Shadow. I think that explanation is quite consistent with the story.
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Offline Betsy

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #33 on: March 12, 2019, 04:43:54 pm »
"I mustn’t eat too many of them.” She shuddered at the memory.

I think we all did, Vicky. I think we all did.  :grin:

61 Days in River City promises to be just as fun as Betsy Visits River City. Can't wait to see what happens next.

I'm glad you're excited and I hope you'll like it. Thank you.

61 Days in River City

A sequel to Betsy's last River City story, seemingly. Its entertaining, both with the 2 carry over characters, and the new ones as well. Mr J D Arksong, no idea where she got that name from? :laugh: I have the feeling this is going to be a fun piece
High end of definitely enjoyed

Thank you Merry. I'm disappointed you got the Mr Arksong reference so soon - my fault, not yours. I thought I'd hidden that one well. No doubt you'll get the others as soon as you read them as well.
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Offline mind-control-makeover

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #34 on: March 13, 2019, 10:00:09 pm »
Addicted:
Nifty premise that really lends itself to tension and teasing. I really dug the scene where Jane made Laurie go under with the cigarette. The details make that sequence work.

Help! ITIARVN:
This is a neat techno-thriller. It makes use of elements of video game developments in very clever ways, to keep deepening a central mystery. I'm starting to chomp at the bit to find out what's beeen happening in the real world while Payton's been trapped.

Laser Tag Party:
I'm very interested to see how this goes. It strikes a nice balance between exposition and anticipation.

Muscle Bimbo:
Gosh, I'm so glad that a faculty member finally reached out to Lexi. She really needed a steady hand. Professor Sinclair seems to have a firm grasp on the situation.

...okay, for serious, I like when sex scenes have good twists and turns that tell you about the characters.

Power Spot:
I like a good realty-change bodice ripper. Not always sure how I feel about a character like Benjamin, though.

Speed Queen:
Super speed is an archetype you don't see as often in fetish superhero stories, so I like the premise. I wish the story had made more use of SQ's powers.


On the "I really want to find time to read this" list...
The Annachurian Candidate
In A Dream
A Rose Forever After...

Offline Shadra

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #35 on: March 14, 2019, 08:48:40 am »
On the "I really want to find time to read this" list...
The Annachurian Candidate

It's worth it. Very easy to read, great hypno/trigger elements, fun characters, and just overall enjoyable. Find the time, you won't be disappointed. Who needs a full night's sleep, anyways?  >:D

Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #36 on: March 14, 2019, 11:16:45 am »
Emilia’s Exorcism (mc mf ff md fd ma bd ex) (2 new chapters)  by malsagulo
A deal with a tech-savvy witch unexpectedly gives a cranky young librarian the ability to tap into the mind of an insatiable slut. Plain, anti-social Emilia soon experiences levels of pleasure beyond her wildest dreams, thanks to a magical link with party girl and whore-for-fun Katya. But can she maintain control—or will she be consumed entirely by the sensual new world she’s discovered?

Things have shifted quite dramatically here. From Being John Malkovich to Jekyll & Hyde. Of course, both have the same underlying theme: a mask can reveal our true selves. Many clues of the truth were already there, especially in how Emilia loved being Katya. Even if they were truly separate people, Katya was who Emilia wanted to be. Katya was that comfortable cloak that was more than just a guilty pleasure for Emilia. In the end, there is no spoon, because there was only ever yourself.

Offline TheHandsThatLead

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #37 on: March 15, 2019, 09:06:45 am »
Speed Queen:
Super speed is an archetype you don't see as often in fetish superhero stories, so I like the premise. I wish the story had made more use of SQ's powers.

Thanks, the only problem with super speed and MC erotica is the chaffing ;)
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Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #38 on: March 15, 2019, 02:06:58 pm »
Letting Down Easy (mc mf fd in la) (new)  by CryHavoc
After enough months of fantasizing about her brother, sometimes a girl just has to make a move.

Looked interesting. Can't say expected too many surprises, but most MC erotica technically has the same underlying elements, regardless of if the synopsis gives aways the whole plot. This did tend to read a bit slowly thanks to very long paragraph structure, but it was fairly consistent. Very heavy on the physical descriptions and planning, too, but I can't say I didn't have a good image of the characters. Assuming you're not looking for epic space battles or women corrupted into succubi, this story was not a bad diversion for what it was.

Offline mind-control-makeover

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #39 on: March 15, 2019, 05:49:52 pm »
Thanks, the only problem with super speed and MC erotica is the chaffing ;)

The obvious solution is to make lube out of the Quick Force.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #40 on: March 19, 2019, 01:52:20 pm »
Finally, that more I promised

Binding Rings

If it wasnt for the incest, I could love this. But yeah, major incest squish issues for me here. The concept is good, the story is good, just a shame its a bit in the family way! :laugh: If he could just focus on Emma...?
Definitely enjoyed, bit of a compromise.

Laser Tag Party

Yes, enjoyed this. Good idea, nicely told, decent characters, and looking forward to reading more
High end of definitely enjoyed

Punk Will Eat Itself

I cant say the guys were likeable, but fine, I enjoyed it way too much. Probably because there were a few moments when things didnt go as planned, maybe? Possibly because they dont really remember things, and get returned to 'normal' too?
High end of definitely enjoyed

A Rose Forever After...

What a great story! Really enjoyed this, even if it wasnt that hard to work out who the women was outside the building.
High end of definitely enjoyed

Hopefully I can finish this update tomorrow
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Offline mind-control-makeover

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #41 on: March 19, 2019, 05:37:06 pm »
Punk Will Eat Itself

I cant say the guys were likeable, but fine, I enjoyed it way too much. Probably because there were a few moments when things didnt go as planned, maybe? Possibly because they dont really remember things, and get returned to 'normal' too?
High end of definitely enjoyed

I was nervous about the direction I took the plot, so I'm glad to hear it was enjoyable.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #42 on: March 19, 2019, 06:04:46 pm »
Believe me, you're getting a rating where you have nothing to worry about from me
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Offline Carefully_Random

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #43 on: March 20, 2019, 05:40:16 am »
A Rose Forever After...

What a great story! Really enjoyed this, even if it wasnt that hard to work out who the women was outside the building.
High end of definitely enjoyed

Thanks Merry! Yeah I think my chapter title effectively nufflified what little surprise there was to be had with the appearance of our antagonist, but I’m stoked that you enjoyed it. More to follow soon, but I’m trying to update like three other stories at the same time :3

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases-March 9th 2019
« Reply #44 on: March 20, 2019, 11:36:22 am »
And finally...

Digitized Submission

One of those where I love the concept (and the maid makeover), but where the people were just too unlikable, and the humiliation was far too much for me. But the process, and a better treated maid, I'd love that done to me!
No rating, taste issues

Help! I’m Trapped In A Romantic Visual Novel!

I'm loving the way Payton is trying to find workarounds with this, really cleverly done. Fine, I might disagree in her place, but I'd love to be the perfect housewife, and cook! So if you're offering me the chance to do that, of course I would! Less resistance, mind... :angel:
High end of definitely enjoyed

This Is Our Story

Not hidden fact that I'm loving this. Seriously, I dont know who the 'happy ending' will be with, but as long as Connor gets one of them...Oh fine, no prizes for my ideal woman for him, but otherwise...
High end of definitely enjoyed. Yes, might get more when I know ending! ;)

The Triumphs of the Past

I must be careful if Max ever offers me a journey in his car! :laugh: Absolutely loving this, and approve appearance of some more mature ladies too. Really good stuff.
High end of definitely enjoyed. Like previous one, wouldnt need much to convince me to give more

Thats it for this update, finally, thanks as always to all authors, reviewed or not. As some know, the reason this has taken so long, is that the fact I've had 2 seizures (possibly stroke related) in last week or so. Therefore I am off work for foreseeable future, so in theory, more time to read. In practice, my concentration, and writing ability has fallen apart. So if you see anything weird written, just accept it as new me. I'm going to give the next update a go, and see how it works out, but after that...? Fine, just wants folk to know!
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