Author Topic: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019  (Read 20372 times)

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Offline Majorwrll

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New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« on: January 19, 2019, 09:23:02 am »
(NOTE: You can QUOTE this posting, and then copy each set of <Title, Link, Tags, Colors and Description> in one chunk, for use in your review postings here)


You can now download the BBCode version of the Whatís New page at https://www.mcstories.com/WhatsNew.txt

The Art Show (mc ff mf fd) (1 new chapter)  by Witchman
Jena is captivated when her boyfriend takes her to an art gallery.

The Bank (Roboman127) (mc ff rb) (2 new chapters)  by Roboman127
Robberies, kidnappings and Assassinations are being done by strange shiny black PVC women.  Two women going to the bank have their lives changed forever.

Bedazzled (Mr. Scade) (mc ff ft rb) (new)  by Mr. Scade
K convinces her two friends to visit a brand new leisure centre that is the talk of the town. With its decorated walls and disciplines some of them have always dreamed of trying, this place has more on offer than eye-catching designs on the walls and pretty women in skin-tight outfits that one canít help but stare at too long... The classes here are designed to not just improve your body, but your entire way of seeing the world.

Betsy Falls for VR (mc mf ff md fd) (new)  by HB5211
Betsy and her agent are drawn into the world of entertainment mogul Oscar Degarden.  He has big plans to put her erotic writings into Virtual Reality.  In the end, will Betsy even be able to tell what is real vs. what is fiction?  Will she even care?

Betsy Visits River City (mc mf ff mm md fd ds bd gr be rb ts sc cb hu) (1 new chapter)  by Betsy Leohtar
Betsy finds herself in River City and is shocked to discover itís infested with super heroes who will try to stop her doing her own lawful work.

Bimbo-Midas (mc mf ff md gr) (3 new chapters)  by Doctor MC, Mad Scientist
A leprechaun gives Jimmy a ring that turns any woman whom Jimmy touches into a bimbo.

Binding Rings (mc mf md in) (1 new chapter)  by Sidia
A chance discovery changes a young manís lifeóand not always for the better.

Broodcomb (mc mf ff md) (new)  by Safety Mouse
Emily and Claire are attacked by bees while walking in the wilderness, except the bees are not what they seem.

The Camping Bug (mc ff be in sf) (new)  by ThatSquickGuy
A fun weekend finds a terrible infestation.

Christopher, Craig & Co. (mc mm) (1 new chapter)  by SoxnTies
The sequel to ďChristopher & CraigĒ and ďCampus Case StudyĒ.

College Undercover (mc mf md) (1 new chapter)  by Greyscribbler
Carol goes undercover to find out what happened to missing college girls.

Editing Reality Book One: Naughty Fantasies Created (mc mf gr in ts) (1 new chapter)  by mypenname3000
Steve gets a phone app that lets him edit other people.

Experiments In recruitment ó N.C.U. (mc fd) (new)  by Sleepy Hypno
Rayne tries her hand at a few instant hypnosis inductions. Will she succeed?

Femdom Mind Control Flash Fiction (mc mf fd) (3 new chapters)  by S. B.
A collection of short writings focusing on various aspects of Femdom Mind Control.

Following Her Dream (mc ff) (1 new chapter)  by Shadra
Janet takes the necessary steps towards obtaining her dream girl.

Generous Portions (mc mf md gr) (1 new chapter)  by fact344
Sam is concerned when her friend Julie gets a job at a theme restaurant that makes the waitresses wear revealing uniforms.

The Hash (mc ma md ds ex) (1 new chapter)  by Angel Raymond
Jen likes to explore, using the chaos of a hash function to visit random places. But this game becomes more interesting than just mathematics when it leads her to meet a mysterious hypnotist on a small island.

Her Motherís Daughter (mc ff in) (2 new chapters)  by Writer345
A mother seeks help dealing with an abusive daughter.

I Have No Idea (mc mf ff md) (1 new chapter)  by Redsliver
Tanner wakes up from a blackout, and discovers that he started a billion dollar pharmaceutical company and created a slave paradise with a prototype mind control drug.

It Was Perfect (mc ff) (new)  by HypnoLove
Amy takes a cheap haircut offer from a stranger. Her ďhaircutĒ turned more into a redesign.

Living Dead Girl (mc ff cb hu) (1 new chapter)  by J. Darksong
River City is home to a number of unusual residents, all with strange and unique powers and abilities. Now everyone is a hero or villain, however. Some just wish to be left alone to live their lives. But when Gwen crosses paths with two of the cityís young heroines, it seems that sheíll be drawn off the sidelines and into the adventure, whether she wants to or not.

Losers Canít Be Choosers (mc mf fd hm) (1 new chapter)  by S. B.
As much as he enjoys it, Jonah knows heís addicted to femdom humiliation. Perhaps his sister Angela, a skilled hypnotherapist, can help him with that.

The Lost Amazons (mc ff ma ft) (new)  by mr. potestas
Archeology student Jennifer is on an expedition in the Black Sea, with the goal of recovering any antiquities in their designated area before the construction of a new oil drilling platform. The team accidentally finds an advanced civilization descended from a society some may describe as the Amazons. Being the only woman on the team, Jennifer was allowed to tour the underwater city with a guide.

Mad Monday (mc mf in) (2 new chapters)  by Pan
After swapping bodies with their teenage daughter, Andrewís wife finds it hard to handle the hormones.

Magical Girl Syn (mc mf ff md gr) (1 new chapter)  by Jennifer Kohl
Cynthiaís magical powers are unlocked at the age of eighteen, but along with them comes a terrible curse. Wait a minuteóis it really so terrible?

Marital Strain (mc mf gr) (1 new chapter)  by Limerick
Amanda and Josephís new marriage comes under pressure when they move to a new town.

Messy (mc ff) (new)  by Jukebox
Madeira inspects her good girl Laura to make sure that sheís properly wet and ready.

A New Religion (Gettoman) (mc ma ft) (new)  by Gettoman
An alien being infiltrates a convent.

Night Time Nudging (mc mf md in) (1 new chapter)  by MindSpark
When a brother learns that his sister uses ASMR to sleep at night, an idea sparks in his head. What if he replaced the audio-files his sister listens to with hypnotic recordings?

Resistance 2 (mc mf ff in gr) (new)  by Rikimaru
Robert struggles to develop a cure for his infected family while trying to keep the Virus contained and concealed from the Generalís forces and remain uninfected himself.

Simplify Your Life ó Employee Benefits (mc mf md ma in gr ft) (new)  by Raptor4d4
SYL Inc. continues to grow and thrive with its revolutionary product lines! As they expand, SYL needs to hire new employees to manage their affairs. How do they secure employee loyalty? How else? Free product samples!

Spellthief Stolen (mc mf ff md fd) (1 new chapter)  by Meleva and Scalar Seventh
All she has to do is cross a garden, climb a tower, steal some spells, and get out. Just another job. Nothing simpler.

That Makes It Simple! (mc mf md) (new)  by Quiet Hypnotist
No matter how much she loves it, studying can be a daunting task. How fortunate when she has a good friend to make thingsóand brainsóso simple!

This Is Our Story (mc mf md) (1 new chapter)  by Ice Bear
Connor, the editor-in-chief of the high school yearbook, discovers that edits he makes to the yearbook come true in real life.

Time Manipulation Mind Control (mc mf md ts in) (1 new chapter)  by mypenname3000
A young college student discovers he has the ability to stop time and implant suggestions.

24 Hour God (mc mf md) (new)  by Voltaire
When Rob is unknowingly granted reality warping powers, he makes some extensive changes to his wife.

Unlimited (mc mf md in) (1 new chapter)  by Pan
A hypnotist recounts the final sessions with his sister.

Without a Thought (mc ff) (new)  by Amber
Thousands of people walk the streets of the city, every day, never seeing anything or anyone around them. What are the chances that any of them would even notice one single woman deep in a mindless trance?

The Youth of the Dark Lord (mc mf md ma hm) (1 new chapter)  by Jennifer Kohl
An apprentice magician has a plan for getting laid.
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Offline Archibael

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2019, 10:24:56 am »
Lost Amazons was decent,  but as it's a teaser for a for-profit work I can't help but give some advice to mr potestas:

"vial" not "vile"
"throes" not "throws"

A couple other typos, but those two were repeated.

Also recommend not using the phrase "in the throes" so often.   At one point it was like three times in two paragraphs. Mix it up a bit with other turns of phrase to make for more interesting prose.

A nice effort.  I'm just trying to help.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2019, 11:26:25 am by Archibael »
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Offline Geo

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2019, 11:02:46 am »
Also note that throw specifiers were removed from C++ in the most-recent standard revision. You may want to upgrade your compiler.
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Offline Archibael

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2019, 11:25:55 am »
I'd missed that.  Thanks,  Mr. Pratt.
Whoever came up with that part of the entrancement is a sick motherfucker, she thought, but the humid heat in her own panties belied her attempted moralism on that fine point of mesmerist etiquette.
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Offline gyrd

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2019, 02:09:56 pm »
"College Undercover" gets back to the spot where it was left off before.  Looking forward to seeing how the story plays out.

----

"Binding Rings" with another great chapter.  Quite the cliffhanger, look forward to the next installment.

Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2019, 04:13:14 pm »
Lost Amazons was decent,  but as it's a teaser for a for-profit work I can't help but give some advice to mr potestas:

"vial" not "vile"
"throes" not "throws"

A couple other typos, but those two were repeated.

Also recommend not using the phrase "in the throes" so often.   At one point it was like three times in two paragraphs. Mix it up a bit with other turns of phrase to make for more interesting prose.

A nice effort.  I'm just trying to help.


Just a pleasant FYI, itís a free ebook  :)
Besides the occasional paperback, the vast majority of my work is a non-profit endeavor these days.
Thanks for pointing out the errors, Iíll correct that before itís posted on the blog in itís entirety

Offline Writer345

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2019, 05:55:33 pm »
Just a pleasant FYI, itís a free ebook  :)
Besides the occasional paperback, the vast majority of my work is a non-profit endeavor these days.
Thanks for pointing out the errors, Iíll correct that before itís posted on the blog in itís entirety

Perhaps you would be kind enough to post a link when your book is completed?  I for one, would very much like to read the full story.
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Offline CristinaCC

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2019, 08:42:32 pm »
It's weird that no one's raving about Marital Strain yet.

Although at the same time, I won't, because I'm busy with my own story, but...

I'm waiting until a confirmed ending, whenever that happens, to fully comment, but it's officially a new bimbo masterpiece as far as this new chapter is concerned. Thank you, internet, for allowing this moment to happen lol
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Offline CerebusOne

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2019, 09:57:10 pm »
Lots of interesting pickings this week.

One of my favorite writers, Shadra, continues with one of my favorite stories, Following Her dream. We find out exactly who the girl in the bar is who called herself Janet and why she was trying to pick up Snow. Violet reaches back to her past to try reclaim it or at least a part of it she has lost. Shadra does a great job as always keeping the twists coming along with the great writing and plot.

GreyScribbler keeps the pressure on Carol in College Undercover. Carol finally gets close to what she wanted all along, well one of the things. It's hard enough for her to be a good cop in that dangerous environment but teamed with Stephanie even more so. This chapter ended on a tense cliff hanger.


The Camping Bug by The Squicky Guy was terrific. Really, really good on so many levels. The writer really took time letting us know Kayaa, a smart, young, tough girl who ends up in a fight of her life, for her mind. And man, she fights like hell. You have to admire her. This story was well written, tense and really had you rooting for Kayla to make it because the writer let you get to know her unlike so many other stories you read. It also was erotic as hell. Did she make it? Do yourself a favor, read it and find out.

Nice to see Generous Portions by Fact344 back. This is one of those stories about a girl who takes a new job...what could be wrong with that? We all know the answer. Sometimes its great to read a story about a girl gone wild, with a new attitude and life imposed on her without any clue as to what happened. This is one of them. It's hot.

In a similar vein is Limerick's terrific revisit to Calving, a town we all know so well in Marital Strain. Watching the three girls slowly change into totally different iterations of themselves is steamy as fuck. Another glass of pink wine or some baked goods, ladies? Yummy! I also love the dichotomy as Amanda and Justine sense something is wrong at the new town, that things are happening to them, and try to fight it, while the third friend Chloe is being assimilated faster and with ease. It adds a very good and compelling touch to the story of the three. This is well thought out story.

I found Bedazzled by Mr. Scade very interesting. I have a feeling some won't like the pace or style of writing but I did. It sucked me in and I wanted to know what happened. Not sure if this story is at an end or not. I would love to read more about the trio of girls who join a new lifestyle improvement complex and what happens to them. If you want to try something different I say go for this story.

Without a Thought by Amber was another nice story with a cute, twisty end. Those two girls have a very nice system in place.

MindSpark's Night Time Nudging is another in a long line of great brother/sister hypno stories. He really takes his time, which you really have to with this kind of story and hits all the high notes. This story is hot and very well written.

Betsy Falls For VR by HB5211 is another smoker. Always loved stories where two allies are both inducted without their knowledge and begin to do things to each other that they never would have before as they change. This story does it very well. Yep, Hot! lol.

Two others  I had time to read and enjoyed were Unlimited by Pan and Broodcomb by Safety Mouse.

Sorry I couldn't read all the stories yet by all the writers who put their time and effort in. Hopefully I will get to them. Damn work shit. Why??? Life would be so nice without it.








« Last Edit: January 20, 2019, 01:21:10 am by CerebusOne »

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2019, 07:22:33 am »
Yes, work can be a pain at times, but the money can be useful! :laugh: Unfortunately it looks highly likely that I'm going to have to cut back even further on my working week, as my back continues to deteriorate in condition. Looking to cut back to a 3 day week (about 22 hours) though a lot will depend on how much disability benefits I can get. So if anyone knows someone wealthy looking to give a decent beneficiary to a disabled old lady, give them my name, pretty please. :-* :-* :-*
Find my stories at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/merrybrooks
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Offline greyscribbler

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2019, 08:03:21 am »
"College Undercover" gets back to the spot where it was left off before.  Looking forward to seeing how the story plays out.

----

"Binding Rings" with another great chapter.  Quite the cliffhanger, look forward to the next installment.

The next chapter is all written and ready to send in.

Greyscribbler

Offline greyscribbler

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2019, 08:04:39 am »
GreyScribbler keeps the pressure on Carol in College Undercover. Carol finally gets close to what she wanted all along, well one of the things. It's hard enough for her to be a good cop in that dangerous environment but teamed with Stephanie even more so. This chapter ended on a tense cliff hanger.

Hopefully you like it's resolution.  There are still a few chapters left though.

Greyscribbler

Offline Shadra

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2019, 08:39:29 am »
One of my favorite writers, Shadra, continues with one of my favorite stories, Following Her dream. We find out exactly who the girl in the bar is who called herself Janet and why she was trying to pick up Snow. Violet reaches back to her past to try reclaim it or at least a part of it she has lost. Shadra does a great job as always keeping the twists coming along with the great writing and plot.

Thank you as always for the kind words and the continued support. (Sorry I never said as such last time.) Someone also had the same guess as to who Snow was that you had earlier. Would have been a lovely idea, but sadly didn't work with what I had planned for later. I was, and am, a tad worried people wouldn't like how she fits in to the story.

That said, we're nearing the end! There's a pretty big hint in this chapter as to what's to come, I'd love to hear what people think might happen! Or just their thoughts on the story in general =)

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2019, 09:20:31 am »
Getting started

Betsy Visits River City

So the monster is gone, but so seemingly are some super powers too? So what is the dark secret about Pearl finally going to show? And will Betsy ever fly on a broomstick again? :laugh: Fine, delighted to see Faeryfaye getting a bit of a promotion in role, just wondering what she will find? And is Fundamentelle's name Eve? ;) What will happen next? Same time, next week, I suspect? As entertaining as ever
High end of definitely enjoyed

It Was Perfect

Sadly, it isnt perfect. It needs a major edit, for oh so many reasons! As much as I can tell from reading it, there may be a decent story hidden in here, but its not easy to find. As is, really didnt grab me at all, but...
I'll go no rating, on readability issues. Long paragraphs, wrong words, and garbled grammar take the blame for that

Losers Canít Be Choosers

Oh fine, the line about Clarissa going off to sleep, dreaming of latex catsuits amused me no end. Given I have developed an intense dislike of Gail, I'm concerned for Nick, but anyway...Hopefully Angela can sort things out, all in good time?
Rating, hmm? Probably would have got definitely enjoyed without the catsuit moment for Clarissa, but fine, I'm biased (I want that role) so I'll give it high end

The Lost Amazons

Nice little preview piece, not sure if I will see more on here, or not though? Do wonder if that scent would have any effect on me? :laugh: It is a set up piece for an ebook, which will be good for those prepared to buy such things.
As a piece, definitely enjoyed

24 Hour God

Well, I dislike anyone that doesnt like LA, and I've never seen heroin needles there, but maybe I've just been lucky? I've certainly seen weird stuff in trolleys there, for sure! :laugh: Pleasant enough story, though a couple of the changes were a bit excessive to me, but hey, some like that?
Low end of definitely enjoyed

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Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2019, 10:14:19 am »

The Lost Amazons

Nice little preview piece, not sure if I will see more on here, or not though? Do wonder if that scent would have any effect on me? :laugh: It is a set up piece for an ebook, which will be good for those prepared to buy such things.
As a piece, definitely enjoyed


Thanks for enjoying! There won't be another chap of this on the MC Archive, being just a free preview for the coming free ebook. However, I may update the Archive preview based on the further tweaks I'll be giving the full story over the next couple days. Getting commentary in the forum on my previews is my diabolical scheme to see if I need to work on these Journeys into Passion stories a bit more. I genuinely appreciate it. :)

Re: Writer345
It will be available on my blog, http://mrpotestas.wordpress.com on the 28th of the this month. I can edit a link into this post when its available then, or just message you the link.

Offline CerebusOne

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2019, 11:06:16 am »
Yes, work can be a pain at times, but the money can be useful! :laugh: Unfortunately it looks highly likely that I'm going to have to cut back even further on my working week, as my back continues to deteriorate in condition. Looking to cut back to a 3 day week (about 22 hours) though a lot will depend on how much disability benefits I can get. So if anyone knows someone wealthy looking to give a decent beneficiary to a disabled old lady, give them my name, pretty please. :-* :-* :-*

Merry, yeah the money is useful in that we have to have it, lol. Problem is no one will pay me to do what I like to do, damn it. Sorry about your back. That sounds rough.

Offline CerebusOne

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2019, 11:08:51 am »
One of my favorite writers, Shadra, continues with one of my favorite stories, Following Her dream. We find out exactly who the girl in the bar is who called herself Janet and why she was trying to pick up Snow. Violet reaches back to her past to try reclaim it or at least a part of it she has lost. Shadra does a great job as always keeping the twists coming along with the great writing and plot.

Thank you as always for the kind words and the continued support. (Sorry I never said as such last time.) Someone also had the same guess as to who Snow was that you had earlier. Would have been a lovely idea, but sadly didn't work with what I had planned for later. I was, and am, a tad worried people wouldn't like how she fits in to the story.

That said, we're nearing the end! There's a pretty big hint in this chapter as to what's to come, I'd love to hear what people think might happen! Or just their thoughts on the story in general =)

Shadra,

I will miss Finding Her Dream when you are finished with it, as I miss all terrific stories. I won't hazard a guess as to what happens except to say I think Janet set something in motion before she met with Violet. What it is, if it actually happened, I don't know. Of course I could be totally wrong. Only you know.

Offline Pan

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2019, 11:24:30 am »
I'm really bad at replying to specific people, but thanks to everyone who has offered feedback this week (and any previous weeks) on my works. It's always appreciated.
Support me on Patreon to read my stories before they go live! http://www.patreon.com/panwhowrites


Check out my Amazon page for all my new work.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2019, 11:54:52 am »
Part 2

Bimbo-Midas

I could do with Jimmy coming and touching me, if thats the makeover you get! Especially if it repairs damaged parts of your body too! ;) Yes, this is fun, definitely enjoying this so far, though I do wonder when Jimmy will realize the picture of where he stands! :laugh:
High end of definitely enjoyed

Femdom Mind Control Flash Fiction

Cant say Punishment was my thing, but I loved the other 2 stories here. Loved the logic of Dominant, and Alexandra is always entertaining, and All Aboard is no exception.
Definitely enjoyed as a compromise mark, would have been high end if just the first 2 chapters published.

The Hash

What isnt there to like about this? Love the whole thing between Jen, and Eric, and definitely hoping for a very happy ending here. Hash point at a registry office, lol? :angel: Loving the crossover between book, and real life at present
High end of definitely enjoyed

Messy

Maybe I'm getting old, but this style of BDSM relationship seems to do less for me nowadays. Maybe it was the spankings? :laugh: Oh, and all the focus on wet cunts, and slutty behaviour just turns me off anyway.
High end of enjoyed, but D/s lovers will give it plenty more

That Makes It Simple!

The end piece rescued this a bit for me, but up until then, I'd even started skiing, as that sort of 'stupidity' level just turns me off in a story. It has it moments, it has its misses for me at least.
High end of enjoyed

More during the week
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Offline Doctor MC

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2019, 12:09:16 pm »
Bimbo-Midas

I could do with Jimmy coming and touching me, if thatís the makeover you get! Especially if it repairs damaged parts of your body too! ;) Yes, this is fun, definitely enjoying this so far, though I do wonder when Jimmy will realize the picture of where he stands! :laugh:
High end of definitely enjoyed

Merry Stephanie, I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

I deliberately made Jimmy a little stupid/naive about the changes, because I want to hold off the moment when he realizes "Iíve caused all this?" Until then, his reactions to what he sees/hears/feels are what the reader's would be.

Not-exactly-a-spoiler alert: The transformations include breast enlargement, which will kick in (belatedly) in next week's long chapter. Stay tuned! (Jimmy's women can't be "bimbos" if they're small-chested, right?)
Write novels or conquer the world? Tough choice!

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Offline SB

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2019, 12:15:45 pm »

Losers Canít Be Choosers

Oh fine, the line about Clarissa going off to sleep, dreaming of latex catsuits amused me no end. Given I have developed an intense dislike of Gail, I'm concerned for Nick, but anyway...Hopefully Angela can sort things out, all in good time?
Rating, hmm? Probably would have got definitely enjoyed without the catsuit moment for Clarissa, but fine, I'm biased (I want that role) so I'll give it high end


Glad you liked that line because, truth be told, I did include it with you in mind. Nick is in danger, yes. Gail is the villain so she will continue to do villain stuff until the ultimate showdown. No Angela until chapter 16 though. Thanks for the rating.  ;)
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Offline Mr.Scade

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2019, 02:57:12 pm »
I found Bedazzled by Mr. Scade very interesting. I have a feeling some won't like the pace or style of writing but I did. It sucked me in and I wanted to know what happened. Not sure if this story is at an end or not. I would love to read more about the trio of girls who join a new lifestyle improvement complex and what happens to them. If you want to try something different I say go for this story.


Many thanks. I do get very ethereal comments about my style. Though, I am curious about what you mean about the pace; is it a thing of context, it being "too slow" for the place it sits in?

 I honestly thought I had sent in only the Prologue and First Chapter. I did a silly, obviously, because the other two chapters got sent in. I was hoping to work on the Prologue (which I lost) in the month it took me to upload the whole story. Ooops!

Offline CerebusOne

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2019, 03:12:48 pm »
I found Bedazzled by Mr. Scade very interesting. I have a feeling some won't like the pace or style of writing but I did. It sucked me in and I wanted to know what happened. Not sure if this story is at an end or not. I would love to read more about the trio of girls who join a new lifestyle improvement complex and what happens to them. If you want to try something different I say go for this story.


Many thanks. I do get very ethereal comments about my style. Though, I am curious about what you mean about the pace; is it a thing of context, it being "too slow" for the place it sits in?

 I honestly thought I had sent in only the Prologue and First Chapter. I did a silly, obviously, because the other two chapters got sent in. I was hoping to work on the Prologue (which I lost) in the month it took me to upload the whole story. Ooops!

Mr. Scade,

You are very welcome. I really liked your story. By pace I mean you didn't rush it. I know many readers like a fairly quick pace, get down to the MC and all that follows ASAP. But I love stories that take their time, build up, allow me to know the characters and situation. I'm not a huge fan of rushed stories. I prefer your method.

I have found that for me pleasure postponed is pleasure intensified. Your story qualifies very nicely.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #23 on: January 20, 2019, 05:08:24 pm »
Bimbo-Midas

I could do with Jimmy coming and touching me, if thatís the makeover you get! Especially if it repairs damaged parts of your body too! ;) Yes, this is fun, definitely enjoying this so far, though I do wonder when Jimmy will realize the picture of where he stands! :laugh:
High end of definitely enjoyed

Merry Stephanie, I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

I deliberately made Jimmy a little stupid/naive about the changes, because I want to hold off the moment when he realizes "Iíve caused all this?" Until then, his reactions to what he sees/hears/feels are what the reader's would be.

Not-exactly-a-spoiler alert: The transformations include breast enlargement, which will kick in (belatedly) in next week's long chapter. Stay tuned! (Jimmy's women can't be "bimbos" if they're small-chested, right?)

Nowadays I could probably live with a bit of breast enlargement, if it undone the damage to my spine, to be honest


Losers Canít Be Choosers

Oh fine, the line about Clarissa going off to sleep, dreaming of latex catsuits amused me no end. Given I have developed an intense dislike of Gail, I'm concerned for Nick, but anyway...Hopefully Angela can sort things out, all in good time?
Rating, hmm? Probably would have got definitely enjoyed without the catsuit moment for Clarissa, but fine, I'm biased (I want that role) so I'll give it high end


Glad you liked that line because, truth be told, I did include it with you in mind. Nick is in danger, yes. Gail is the villain so she will continue to do villain stuff until the ultimate showdown. No Angela until chapter 16 though. Thanks for the rating.  ;)

Yes, I did wonder if that was the case, much appreciated, I must say

I found Bedazzled by Mr. Scade very interesting. I have a feeling some won't like the pace or style of writing but I did. It sucked me in and I wanted to know what happened. Not sure if this story is at an end or not. I would love to read more about the trio of girls who join a new lifestyle improvement complex and what happens to them. If you want to try something different I say go for this story.


Many thanks. I do get very ethereal comments about my style. Though, I am curious about what you mean about the pace; is it a thing of context, it being "too slow" for the place it sits in?

 I honestly thought I had sent in only the Prologue and First Chapter. I did a silly, obviously, because the other two chapters got sent in. I was hoping to work on the Prologue (which I lost) in the month it took me to upload the whole story. Ooops!

Yes, I wasnt amused when I saw the length of it that I had to read this week, but fingers crossed I can still get to it
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Offline Writer345

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #24 on: January 20, 2019, 05:11:39 pm »
Re: Writer345
It will be available on my blog, http://mrpotestas.wordpress.com on the 28th of the this month. I can edit a link into this post when its available then, or just message you the link.

Thank you, Sir, which ever would be the easiest for you would suit me finel.  The taster that you posted has whetted my appetite...
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