Author Topic: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019  (Read 12095 times)

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Offline Majorwrll

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New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« on: January 19, 2019, 09:23:02 am »
(NOTE: You can QUOTE this posting, and then copy each set of <Title, Link, Tags, Colors and Description> in one chunk, for use in your review postings here)


You can now download the BBCode version of the Whatís New page at https://www.mcstories.com/WhatsNew.txt

The Art Show (mc ff mf fd) (1 new chapter)  by Witchman
Jena is captivated when her boyfriend takes her to an art gallery.

The Bank (Roboman127) (mc ff rb) (2 new chapters)  by Roboman127
Robberies, kidnappings and Assassinations are being done by strange shiny black PVC women.  Two women going to the bank have their lives changed forever.

Bedazzled (Mr. Scade) (mc ff ft rb) (new)  by Mr. Scade
K convinces her two friends to visit a brand new leisure centre that is the talk of the town. With its decorated walls and disciplines some of them have always dreamed of trying, this place has more on offer than eye-catching designs on the walls and pretty women in skin-tight outfits that one canít help but stare at too long... The classes here are designed to not just improve your body, but your entire way of seeing the world.

Betsy Falls for VR (mc mf ff md fd) (new)  by HB5211
Betsy and her agent are drawn into the world of entertainment mogul Oscar Degarden.  He has big plans to put her erotic writings into Virtual Reality.  In the end, will Betsy even be able to tell what is real vs. what is fiction?  Will she even care?

Betsy Visits River City (mc mf ff mm md fd ds bd gr be rb ts sc cb hu) (1 new chapter)  by Betsy Leohtar
Betsy finds herself in River City and is shocked to discover itís infested with super heroes who will try to stop her doing her own lawful work.

Bimbo-Midas (mc mf ff md gr) (3 new chapters)  by Doctor MC, Mad Scientist
A leprechaun gives Jimmy a ring that turns any woman whom Jimmy touches into a bimbo.

Binding Rings (mc mf md in) (1 new chapter)  by Sidia
A chance discovery changes a young manís lifeóand not always for the better.

Broodcomb (mc mf ff md) (new)  by Safety Mouse
Emily and Claire are attacked by bees while walking in the wilderness, except the bees are not what they seem.

The Camping Bug (mc ff be in sf) (new)  by ThatSquickGuy
A fun weekend finds a terrible infestation.

Christopher, Craig & Co. (mc mm) (1 new chapter)  by SoxnTies
The sequel to ďChristopher & CraigĒ and ďCampus Case StudyĒ.

College Undercover (mc mf md) (1 new chapter)  by Greyscribbler
Carol goes undercover to find out what happened to missing college girls.

Editing Reality Book One: Naughty Fantasies Created (mc mf gr in ts) (1 new chapter)  by mypenname3000
Steve gets a phone app that lets him edit other people.

Experiments In recruitment ó N.C.U. (mc fd) (new)  by Sleepy Hypno
Rayne tries her hand at a few instant hypnosis inductions. Will she succeed?

Femdom Mind Control Flash Fiction (mc mf fd) (3 new chapters)  by S. B.
A collection of short writings focusing on various aspects of Femdom Mind Control.

Following Her Dream (mc ff) (1 new chapter)  by Shadra
Janet takes the necessary steps towards obtaining her dream girl.

Generous Portions (mc mf md gr) (1 new chapter)  by fact344
Sam is concerned when her friend Julie gets a job at a theme restaurant that makes the waitresses wear revealing uniforms.

The Hash (mc ma md ds ex) (1 new chapter)  by Angel Raymond
Jen likes to explore, using the chaos of a hash function to visit random places. But this game becomes more interesting than just mathematics when it leads her to meet a mysterious hypnotist on a small island.

Her Motherís Daughter (mc ff in) (2 new chapters)  by Writer345
A mother seeks help dealing with an abusive daughter.

I Have No Idea (mc mf ff md) (1 new chapter)  by Redsliver
Tanner wakes up from a blackout, and discovers that he started a billion dollar pharmaceutical company and created a slave paradise with a prototype mind control drug.

It Was Perfect (mc ff) (new)  by HypnoLove
Amy takes a cheap haircut offer from a stranger. Her ďhaircutĒ turned more into a redesign.

Living Dead Girl (mc ff cb hu) (1 new chapter)  by J. Darksong
River City is home to a number of unusual residents, all with strange and unique powers and abilities. Now everyone is a hero or villain, however. Some just wish to be left alone to live their lives. But when Gwen crosses paths with two of the cityís young heroines, it seems that sheíll be drawn off the sidelines and into the adventure, whether she wants to or not.

Losers Canít Be Choosers (mc mf fd hm) (1 new chapter)  by S. B.
As much as he enjoys it, Jonah knows heís addicted to femdom humiliation. Perhaps his sister Angela, a skilled hypnotherapist, can help him with that.

The Lost Amazons (mc ff ma ft) (new)  by mr. potestas
Archeology student Jennifer is on an expedition in the Black Sea, with the goal of recovering any antiquities in their designated area before the construction of a new oil drilling platform. The team accidentally finds an advanced civilization descended from a society some may describe as the Amazons. Being the only woman on the team, Jennifer was allowed to tour the underwater city with a guide.

Mad Monday (mc mf in) (2 new chapters)  by Pan
After swapping bodies with their teenage daughter, Andrewís wife finds it hard to handle the hormones.

Magical Girl Syn (mc mf ff md gr) (1 new chapter)  by Jennifer Kohl
Cynthiaís magical powers are unlocked at the age of eighteen, but along with them comes a terrible curse. Wait a minuteóis it really so terrible?

Marital Strain (mc mf gr) (1 new chapter)  by Limerick
Amanda and Josephís new marriage comes under pressure when they move to a new town.

Messy (mc ff) (new)  by Jukebox
Madeira inspects her good girl Laura to make sure that sheís properly wet and ready.

A New Religion (Gettoman) (mc ma ft) (new)  by Gettoman
An alien being infiltrates a convent.

Night Time Nudging (mc mf md in) (1 new chapter)  by MindSpark
When a brother learns that his sister uses ASMR to sleep at night, an idea sparks in his head. What if he replaced the audio-files his sister listens to with hypnotic recordings?

Resistance 2 (mc mf ff in gr) (new)  by Rikimaru
Robert struggles to develop a cure for his infected family while trying to keep the Virus contained and concealed from the Generalís forces and remain uninfected himself.

Simplify Your Life ó Employee Benefits (mc mf md ma in gr ft) (new)  by Raptor4d4
SYL Inc. continues to grow and thrive with its revolutionary product lines! As they expand, SYL needs to hire new employees to manage their affairs. How do they secure employee loyalty? How else? Free product samples!

Spellthief Stolen (mc mf ff md fd) (1 new chapter)  by Meleva and Scalar Seventh
All she has to do is cross a garden, climb a tower, steal some spells, and get out. Just another job. Nothing simpler.

That Makes It Simple! (mc mf md) (new)  by Quiet Hypnotist
No matter how much she loves it, studying can be a daunting task. How fortunate when she has a good friend to make thingsóand brainsóso simple!

This Is Our Story (mc mf md) (1 new chapter)  by Ice Bear
Connor, the editor-in-chief of the high school yearbook, discovers that edits he makes to the yearbook come true in real life.

Time Manipulation Mind Control (mc mf md ts in) (1 new chapter)  by mypenname3000
A young college student discovers he has the ability to stop time and implant suggestions.

24 Hour God (mc mf md) (new)  by Voltaire
When Rob is unknowingly granted reality warping powers, he makes some extensive changes to his wife.

Unlimited (mc mf md in) (1 new chapter)  by Pan
A hypnotist recounts the final sessions with his sister.

Without a Thought (mc ff) (new)  by Amber
Thousands of people walk the streets of the city, every day, never seeing anything or anyone around them. What are the chances that any of them would even notice one single woman deep in a mindless trance?

The Youth of the Dark Lord (mc mf md ma hm) (1 new chapter)  by Jennifer Kohl
An apprentice magician has a plan for getting laid.
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Offline Archibael

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2019, 10:24:56 am »
Lost Amazons was decent,  but as it's a teaser for a for-profit work I can't help but give some advice to mr potestas:

"vial" not "vile"
"throes" not "throws"

A couple other typos, but those two were repeated.

Also recommend not using the phrase "in the throes" so often.   At one point it was like three times in two paragraphs. Mix it up a bit with other turns of phrase to make for more interesting prose.

A nice effort.  I'm just trying to help.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2019, 11:26:25 am by Archibael »
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Offline Geo

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2019, 11:02:46 am »
Also note that throw specifiers were removed from C++ in the most-recent standard revision. You may want to upgrade your compiler.
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Offline Archibael

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2019, 11:25:55 am »
I'd missed that.  Thanks,  Mr. Pratt.
Whoever came up with that part of the entrancement is a sick motherfucker, she thought, but the humid heat in her own panties belied her attempted moralism on that fine point of mesmerist etiquette.
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Offline gyrd

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2019, 02:09:56 pm »
"College Undercover" gets back to the spot where it was left off before.  Looking forward to seeing how the story plays out.

----

"Binding Rings" with another great chapter.  Quite the cliffhanger, look forward to the next installment.

Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2019, 04:13:14 pm »
Lost Amazons was decent,  but as it's a teaser for a for-profit work I can't help but give some advice to mr potestas:

"vial" not "vile"
"throes" not "throws"

A couple other typos, but those two were repeated.

Also recommend not using the phrase "in the throes" so often.   At one point it was like three times in two paragraphs. Mix it up a bit with other turns of phrase to make for more interesting prose.

A nice effort.  I'm just trying to help.


Just a pleasant FYI, itís a free ebook  :)
Besides the occasional paperback, the vast majority of my work is a non-profit endeavor these days.
Thanks for pointing out the errors, Iíll correct that before itís posted on the blog in itís entirety

Offline Writer345

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2019, 05:55:33 pm »
Just a pleasant FYI, itís a free ebook  :)
Besides the occasional paperback, the vast majority of my work is a non-profit endeavor these days.
Thanks for pointing out the errors, Iíll correct that before itís posted on the blog in itís entirety

Perhaps you would be kind enough to post a link when your book is completed?  I for one, would very much like to read the full story.
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Offline CristinaCC

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2019, 08:42:32 pm »
It's weird that no one's raving about Marital Strain yet.

Although at the same time, I won't, because I'm busy with my own story, but...

I'm waiting until a confirmed ending, whenever that happens, to fully comment, but it's officially a new bimbo masterpiece as far as this new chapter is concerned. Thank you, internet, for allowing this moment to happen lol
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Offline CerebusOne

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2019, 09:57:10 pm »
Lots of interesting pickings this week.

One of my favorite writers, Shadra, continues with one of my favorite stories, Following Her dream. We find out exactly who the girl in the bar is who called herself Janet and why she was trying to pick up Snow. Violet reaches back to her past to try reclaim it or at least a part of it she has lost. Shadra does a great job as always keeping the twists coming along with the great writing and plot.

GreyScribbler keeps the pressure on Carol in College Undercover. Carol finally gets close to what she wanted all along, well one of the things. It's hard enough for her to be a good cop in that dangerous environment but teamed with Stephanie even more so. This chapter ended on a tense cliff hanger.


The Camping Bug by The Squicky Guy was terrific. Really, really good on so many levels. The writer really took time letting us know Kayaa, a smart, young, tough girl who ends up in a fight of her life, for her mind. And man, she fights like hell. You have to admire her. This story was well written, tense and really had you rooting for Kayla to make it because the writer let you get to know her unlike so many other stories you read. It also was erotic as hell. Did she make it? Do yourself a favor, read it and find out.

Nice to see Generous Portions by Fact344 back. This is one of those stories about a girl who takes a new job...what could be wrong with that? We all know the answer. Sometimes its great to read a story about a girl gone wild, with a new attitude and life imposed on her without any clue as to what happened. This is one of them. It's hot.

In a similar vein is Limerick's terrific revisit to Calving, a town we all know so well in Marital Strain. Watching the three girls slowly change into totally different iterations of themselves is steamy as fuck. Another glass of pink wine or some baked goods, ladies? Yummy! I also love the dichotomy as Amanda and Justine sense something is wrong at the new town, that things are happening to them, and try to fight it, while the third friend Chloe is being assimilated faster and with ease. It adds a very good and compelling touch to the story of the three. This is well thought out story.

I found Bedazzled by Mr. Scade very interesting. I have a feeling some won't like the pace or style of writing but I did. It sucked me in and I wanted to know what happened. Not sure if this story is at an end or not. I would love to read more about the trio of girls who join a new lifestyle improvement complex and what happens to them. If you want to try something different I say go for this story.

Without a Thought by Amber was another nice story with a cute, twisty end. Those two girls have a very nice system in place.

MindSpark's Night Time Nudging is another in a long line of great brother/sister hypno stories. He really takes his time, which you really have to with this kind of story and hits all the high notes. This story is hot and very well written.

Betsy Falls For VR by HB5211 is another smoker. Always loved stories where two allies are both inducted without their knowledge and begin to do things to each other that they never would have before as they change. This story does it very well. Yep, Hot! lol.

Two others  I had time to read and enjoyed were Unlimited by Pan and Broodcomb by Safety Mouse.

Sorry I couldn't read all the stories yet by all the writers who put their time and effort in. Hopefully I will get to them. Damn work shit. Why??? Life would be so nice without it.








« Last Edit: January 20, 2019, 01:21:10 am by CerebusOne »

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2019, 07:22:33 am »
Yes, work can be a pain at times, but the money can be useful! :laugh: Unfortunately it looks highly likely that I'm going to have to cut back even further on my working week, as my back continues to deteriorate in condition. Looking to cut back to a 3 day week (about 22 hours) though a lot will depend on how much disability benefits I can get. So if anyone knows someone wealthy looking to give a decent beneficiary to a disabled old lady, give them my name, pretty please. :-* :-* :-*
Find my stories at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/merrybrooks
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Offline greyscribbler

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2019, 08:03:21 am »
"College Undercover" gets back to the spot where it was left off before.  Looking forward to seeing how the story plays out.

----

"Binding Rings" with another great chapter.  Quite the cliffhanger, look forward to the next installment.

The next chapter is all written and ready to send in.

Greyscribbler

Offline greyscribbler

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2019, 08:04:39 am »
GreyScribbler keeps the pressure on Carol in College Undercover. Carol finally gets close to what she wanted all along, well one of the things. It's hard enough for her to be a good cop in that dangerous environment but teamed with Stephanie even more so. This chapter ended on a tense cliff hanger.

Hopefully you like it's resolution.  There are still a few chapters left though.

Greyscribbler

Offline Shadra

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2019, 08:39:29 am »
One of my favorite writers, Shadra, continues with one of my favorite stories, Following Her dream. We find out exactly who the girl in the bar is who called herself Janet and why she was trying to pick up Snow. Violet reaches back to her past to try reclaim it or at least a part of it she has lost. Shadra does a great job as always keeping the twists coming along with the great writing and plot.

Thank you as always for the kind words and the continued support. (Sorry I never said as such last time.) Someone also had the same guess as to who Snow was that you had earlier. Would have been a lovely idea, but sadly didn't work with what I had planned for later. I was, and am, a tad worried people wouldn't like how she fits in to the story.

That said, we're nearing the end! There's a pretty big hint in this chapter as to what's to come, I'd love to hear what people think might happen! Or just their thoughts on the story in general =)

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2019, 09:20:31 am »
Getting started

Betsy Visits River City

So the monster is gone, but so seemingly are some super powers too? So what is the dark secret about Pearl finally going to show? And will Betsy ever fly on a broomstick again? :laugh: Fine, delighted to see Faeryfaye getting a bit of a promotion in role, just wondering what she will find? And is Fundamentelle's name Eve? ;) What will happen next? Same time, next week, I suspect? As entertaining as ever
High end of definitely enjoyed

It Was Perfect

Sadly, it isnt perfect. It needs a major edit, for oh so many reasons! As much as I can tell from reading it, there may be a decent story hidden in here, but its not easy to find. As is, really didnt grab me at all, but...
I'll go no rating, on readability issues. Long paragraphs, wrong words, and garbled grammar take the blame for that

Losers Canít Be Choosers

Oh fine, the line about Clarissa going off to sleep, dreaming of latex catsuits amused me no end. Given I have developed an intense dislike of Gail, I'm concerned for Nick, but anyway...Hopefully Angela can sort things out, all in good time?
Rating, hmm? Probably would have got definitely enjoyed without the catsuit moment for Clarissa, but fine, I'm biased (I want that role) so I'll give it high end

The Lost Amazons

Nice little preview piece, not sure if I will see more on here, or not though? Do wonder if that scent would have any effect on me? :laugh: It is a set up piece for an ebook, which will be good for those prepared to buy such things.
As a piece, definitely enjoyed

24 Hour God

Well, I dislike anyone that doesnt like LA, and I've never seen heroin needles there, but maybe I've just been lucky? I've certainly seen weird stuff in trolleys there, for sure! :laugh: Pleasant enough story, though a couple of the changes were a bit excessive to me, but hey, some like that?
Low end of definitely enjoyed

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Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2019, 10:14:19 am »

The Lost Amazons

Nice little preview piece, not sure if I will see more on here, or not though? Do wonder if that scent would have any effect on me? :laugh: It is a set up piece for an ebook, which will be good for those prepared to buy such things.
As a piece, definitely enjoyed


Thanks for enjoying! There won't be another chap of this on the MC Archive, being just a free preview for the coming free ebook. However, I may update the Archive preview based on the further tweaks I'll be giving the full story over the next couple days. Getting commentary in the forum on my previews is my diabolical scheme to see if I need to work on these Journeys into Passion stories a bit more. I genuinely appreciate it. :)

Re: Writer345
It will be available on my blog, http://mrpotestas.wordpress.com on the 28th of the this month. I can edit a link into this post when its available then, or just message you the link.

Offline CerebusOne

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2019, 11:06:16 am »
Yes, work can be a pain at times, but the money can be useful! :laugh: Unfortunately it looks highly likely that I'm going to have to cut back even further on my working week, as my back continues to deteriorate in condition. Looking to cut back to a 3 day week (about 22 hours) though a lot will depend on how much disability benefits I can get. So if anyone knows someone wealthy looking to give a decent beneficiary to a disabled old lady, give them my name, pretty please. :-* :-* :-*

Merry, yeah the money is useful in that we have to have it, lol. Problem is no one will pay me to do what I like to do, damn it. Sorry about your back. That sounds rough.

Offline CerebusOne

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2019, 11:08:51 am »
One of my favorite writers, Shadra, continues with one of my favorite stories, Following Her dream. We find out exactly who the girl in the bar is who called herself Janet and why she was trying to pick up Snow. Violet reaches back to her past to try reclaim it or at least a part of it she has lost. Shadra does a great job as always keeping the twists coming along with the great writing and plot.

Thank you as always for the kind words and the continued support. (Sorry I never said as such last time.) Someone also had the same guess as to who Snow was that you had earlier. Would have been a lovely idea, but sadly didn't work with what I had planned for later. I was, and am, a tad worried people wouldn't like how she fits in to the story.

That said, we're nearing the end! There's a pretty big hint in this chapter as to what's to come, I'd love to hear what people think might happen! Or just their thoughts on the story in general =)

Shadra,

I will miss Finding Her Dream when you are finished with it, as I miss all terrific stories. I won't hazard a guess as to what happens except to say I think Janet set something in motion before she met with Violet. What it is, if it actually happened, I don't know. Of course I could be totally wrong. Only you know.

Offline Pan

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2019, 11:24:30 am »
I'm really bad at replying to specific people, but thanks to everyone who has offered feedback this week (and any previous weeks) on my works. It's always appreciated.
Support me on Patreon to read my stories before they go live! http://www.patreon.com/panwhowrites


Check out my Amazon page for all my new work.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2019, 11:54:52 am »
Part 2

Bimbo-Midas

I could do with Jimmy coming and touching me, if thats the makeover you get! Especially if it repairs damaged parts of your body too! ;) Yes, this is fun, definitely enjoying this so far, though I do wonder when Jimmy will realize the picture of where he stands! :laugh:
High end of definitely enjoyed

Femdom Mind Control Flash Fiction

Cant say Punishment was my thing, but I loved the other 2 stories here. Loved the logic of Dominant, and Alexandra is always entertaining, and All Aboard is no exception.
Definitely enjoyed as a compromise mark, would have been high end if just the first 2 chapters published.

The Hash

What isnt there to like about this? Love the whole thing between Jen, and Eric, and definitely hoping for a very happy ending here. Hash point at a registry office, lol? :angel: Loving the crossover between book, and real life at present
High end of definitely enjoyed

Messy

Maybe I'm getting old, but this style of BDSM relationship seems to do less for me nowadays. Maybe it was the spankings? :laugh: Oh, and all the focus on wet cunts, and slutty behaviour just turns me off anyway.
High end of enjoyed, but D/s lovers will give it plenty more

That Makes It Simple!

The end piece rescued this a bit for me, but up until then, I'd even started skiing, as that sort of 'stupidity' level just turns me off in a story. It has it moments, it has its misses for me at least.
High end of enjoyed

More during the week
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Offline Doctor MC

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2019, 12:09:16 pm »
Bimbo-Midas

I could do with Jimmy coming and touching me, if thatís the makeover you get! Especially if it repairs damaged parts of your body too! ;) Yes, this is fun, definitely enjoying this so far, though I do wonder when Jimmy will realize the picture of where he stands! :laugh:
High end of definitely enjoyed

Merry Stephanie, I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

I deliberately made Jimmy a little stupid/naive about the changes, because I want to hold off the moment when he realizes "Iíve caused all this?" Until then, his reactions to what he sees/hears/feels are what the reader's would be.

Not-exactly-a-spoiler alert: The transformations include breast enlargement, which will kick in (belatedly) in next week's long chapter. Stay tuned! (Jimmy's women can't be "bimbos" if they're small-chested, right?)
Write novels or conquer the world? Tough choice!

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Offline SB

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2019, 12:15:45 pm »

Losers Canít Be Choosers

Oh fine, the line about Clarissa going off to sleep, dreaming of latex catsuits amused me no end. Given I have developed an intense dislike of Gail, I'm concerned for Nick, but anyway...Hopefully Angela can sort things out, all in good time?
Rating, hmm? Probably would have got definitely enjoyed without the catsuit moment for Clarissa, but fine, I'm biased (I want that role) so I'll give it high end


Glad you liked that line because, truth be told, I did include it with you in mind. Nick is in danger, yes. Gail is the villain so she will continue to do villain stuff until the ultimate showdown. No Angela until chapter 16 though. Thanks for the rating.  ;)
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Offline Mr.Scade

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2019, 02:57:12 pm »
I found Bedazzled by Mr. Scade very interesting. I have a feeling some won't like the pace or style of writing but I did. It sucked me in and I wanted to know what happened. Not sure if this story is at an end or not. I would love to read more about the trio of girls who join a new lifestyle improvement complex and what happens to them. If you want to try something different I say go for this story.


Many thanks. I do get very ethereal comments about my style. Though, I am curious about what you mean about the pace; is it a thing of context, it being "too slow" for the place it sits in?

 I honestly thought I had sent in only the Prologue and First Chapter. I did a silly, obviously, because the other two chapters got sent in. I was hoping to work on the Prologue (which I lost) in the month it took me to upload the whole story. Ooops!

Offline CerebusOne

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2019, 03:12:48 pm »
I found Bedazzled by Mr. Scade very interesting. I have a feeling some won't like the pace or style of writing but I did. It sucked me in and I wanted to know what happened. Not sure if this story is at an end or not. I would love to read more about the trio of girls who join a new lifestyle improvement complex and what happens to them. If you want to try something different I say go for this story.


Many thanks. I do get very ethereal comments about my style. Though, I am curious about what you mean about the pace; is it a thing of context, it being "too slow" for the place it sits in?

 I honestly thought I had sent in only the Prologue and First Chapter. I did a silly, obviously, because the other two chapters got sent in. I was hoping to work on the Prologue (which I lost) in the month it took me to upload the whole story. Ooops!

Mr. Scade,

You are very welcome. I really liked your story. By pace I mean you didn't rush it. I know many readers like a fairly quick pace, get down to the MC and all that follows ASAP. But I love stories that take their time, build up, allow me to know the characters and situation. I'm not a huge fan of rushed stories. I prefer your method.

I have found that for me pleasure postponed is pleasure intensified. Your story qualifies very nicely.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #23 on: January 20, 2019, 05:08:24 pm »
Bimbo-Midas

I could do with Jimmy coming and touching me, if thatís the makeover you get! Especially if it repairs damaged parts of your body too! ;) Yes, this is fun, definitely enjoying this so far, though I do wonder when Jimmy will realize the picture of where he stands! :laugh:
High end of definitely enjoyed

Merry Stephanie, I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

I deliberately made Jimmy a little stupid/naive about the changes, because I want to hold off the moment when he realizes "Iíve caused all this?" Until then, his reactions to what he sees/hears/feels are what the reader's would be.

Not-exactly-a-spoiler alert: The transformations include breast enlargement, which will kick in (belatedly) in next week's long chapter. Stay tuned! (Jimmy's women can't be "bimbos" if they're small-chested, right?)

Nowadays I could probably live with a bit of breast enlargement, if it undone the damage to my spine, to be honest


Losers Canít Be Choosers

Oh fine, the line about Clarissa going off to sleep, dreaming of latex catsuits amused me no end. Given I have developed an intense dislike of Gail, I'm concerned for Nick, but anyway...Hopefully Angela can sort things out, all in good time?
Rating, hmm? Probably would have got definitely enjoyed without the catsuit moment for Clarissa, but fine, I'm biased (I want that role) so I'll give it high end


Glad you liked that line because, truth be told, I did include it with you in mind. Nick is in danger, yes. Gail is the villain so she will continue to do villain stuff until the ultimate showdown. No Angela until chapter 16 though. Thanks for the rating.  ;)

Yes, I did wonder if that was the case, much appreciated, I must say

I found Bedazzled by Mr. Scade very interesting. I have a feeling some won't like the pace or style of writing but I did. It sucked me in and I wanted to know what happened. Not sure if this story is at an end or not. I would love to read more about the trio of girls who join a new lifestyle improvement complex and what happens to them. If you want to try something different I say go for this story.


Many thanks. I do get very ethereal comments about my style. Though, I am curious about what you mean about the pace; is it a thing of context, it being "too slow" for the place it sits in?

 I honestly thought I had sent in only the Prologue and First Chapter. I did a silly, obviously, because the other two chapters got sent in. I was hoping to work on the Prologue (which I lost) in the month it took me to upload the whole story. Ooops!

Yes, I wasnt amused when I saw the length of it that I had to read this week, but fingers crossed I can still get to it
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Offline Writer345

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #24 on: January 20, 2019, 05:11:39 pm »
Re: Writer345
It will be available on my blog, http://mrpotestas.wordpress.com on the 28th of the this month. I can edit a link into this post when its available then, or just message you the link.

Thank you, Sir, which ever would be the easiest for you would suit me finel.  The taster that you posted has whetted my appetite...
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Offline badpenny

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #25 on: January 20, 2019, 05:54:03 pm »
Seconding CerebusOne's praise for The Camping Bug. If bugs aren't your thing, heed the author comments, but if bugs are your thing, this story delivers. Young solo camper who actually prepared for her outing? Check. Creepy encounters with some wildlife, but not creepy enough to pack it in and head home? Check. Young solo camper having some fight in her when things Go Very Wrong? Check! Squicky hotness? Many, many checks! I thoroughly enjoyed.

(I have Broodcomb opened in a tab to read when I have more time. It's complete chaptered story clocking in around 20,000 words. I have high hopes from the summary and the prelude!)

Offline SB

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #26 on: January 21, 2019, 06:07:14 am »

Femdom Mind Control Flash Fiction

Cant say Punishment was my thing, but I loved the other 2 stories here. Loved the logic of Dominant, and Alexandra is always entertaining, and All Aboard is no exception.
Definitely enjoyed as a compromise mark, would have been high end if just the first 2 chapters published.


Fair enough. I do experiment with a lot of different things when it comes to these and, sometimes, I write harsh, just like in Punishment. Pleased you enjoyed the more lighthearted affairs though.
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Offline Addiction

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #27 on: January 21, 2019, 12:57:13 pm »
Mad Monday
Consistently good and hot. Pan stories are hit or miss with me, but this particular tale has definitely hit. I've been following it on and off for a bit so I thought I'd give it some more praise.
Good characterization, love the internal struggle of the protagonist and Belle/wife being consumed by hormones. I'm curious to see whether She'll make a scene at the 556 and what exactly Belle in Wife's body thinks of the whole situation.

This Is Our Story
I finally picked this one up and it is amazing. I don't even care about the porn parts. Excellently written, sucks you in and you want to know what happens next with or without the porn. A very slow burn.
Most of Ice bear's shorter stories tend to fall on the cruel side for me, making me like them less. Though to be fair, I think that's because he takes the mind control to its logical conclusion shattering my 'romaticized' version of it. I'll actually be buying this on amazon from him if they'll (Amazon) allow it.

Time Manipulation Mind Control
Now that it's finished, I'm still divided on this. mypenname3000's output is incredible. He keeps writing and writing which is commendable. I wish I had that dedication. The issue I have is that he's writing for what teenage me would have liked; lots of raunchy details and long sexual descriptions. The issue is that there's too much of it, there's no selection process and just paragraph upon paragraph of smut. Sometimes you don't want to read all the details. I found myself skipping large parts of it because of that.
That being said, there's fun bits in it too. Some fun scenes, despite it being very straightforward. It hit some notes I liked in a good way.
I'm glad it didn't devolve into a god-king protagonist controlling the world, which seemed to be the case in the middle. I read it mostly to see how it ended, which was ok.
Still, I'm impressed by the sheer volume of writing this person does, so I'll definitely check them out for those fun bits.
I have made some captions over at Hypnopics

Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #28 on: January 21, 2019, 02:58:49 pm »
Re: Writer345
It will be available on my blog, http://mrpotestas.wordpress.com on the 28th of the this month. I can edit a link into this post when its available then, or just message you the link.

Thank you, Sir, which ever would be the easiest for you would suit me finel.  The taster that you posted has whetted my appetite...

And to my surprise, the tireless Simon already posted the update to my preview! Not that different, but was part of another set of tweaks that went into the coming full free story. Hope that wets your whistle just that much more!

This is probably my most intentionally psychedelic story in some ways, and again, I greatly appreciate the feedback I got on the preview.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2019, 04:34:42 pm by mr potestas »

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #29 on: January 21, 2019, 03:54:56 pm »
Part 3

Generous Portions

Whether it was the 16 month gap, or whether it just didnt appeal to me, I cant be sure. But I couldnt get back into this in the slightest, so wont be taking any more portions of this, lol
No rating, see above

I Have No Idea

Bit of a different chapter, in truth more of a long rant, and less story. So other than sympathising with Brian for his problems, not much here for me in truth.
No rating, just a get out as I have no idea how to rate it

Magical Girl Syn

Maybe it was a bad day, no idea, but seems a lot of down marks today? I'm not saying Todd and Co didnt deserve a bad fate, because they probably did. But in truth, this chapter really didnt do much for me, mainly sex and violence. Still want to know how things play out, but this chapter wasnt a great one for my tastes.
No rating, just really not my thing

Resistance 2

Given the nature of the story, its hard not to have lots of sex in this, but thats not a big turn on for me. I'll be interested to see which way things play out for Robert here though. Hints of events at the end dont excite me, but we will see.
No rating, taste issues

Without a Thought

First time I've ever gone 100% NR in a batch! The concept was certainly a clever one, but even in such a short story, I got bored by the semi repetition of events. There is at least a fraction of explanation at the end, but that really was it. But yeah, it felt like a hypno piece, and thats never been a grabber for me
No rating, taste issues

More later in week
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Offline Shadra

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #30 on: January 21, 2019, 04:43:13 pm »
First time I've ever gone 100% NR in a batch!

Bittersweet achievement ceremony? I'll bring the ice cream quarts.

Offline Angst

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #31 on: January 21, 2019, 04:44:25 pm »
Mad Monday
Consistently good and hot. Pan stories are hit or miss with me, but this particular tale has definitely hit. I've been following it on and off for a bit so I thought I'd give it some more praise.
Good characterization, love the internal struggle of the protagonist and Belle/wife being consumed by hormones. I'm curious to see whether She'll make a scene at the 556 and what exactly Belle in Wife's body thinks of the whole situation.

I've tried to really get into this one, pretty much every time another chapter or two has been posted. The problem is, I must have missed an important detail early on, if it was provided. I just have a hard time figuring out how it was done in the first place, especially in a way that one of them notices, and the other seems to go about their life with no realization that they're in another body?

It's a bit like walking in late to the theater when a mystery is playing, and trying to connect all the dots that you missed before you arrived. Maybe I need to go back to the beginning again and try it over.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #32 on: January 22, 2019, 07:30:29 am »
First time I've ever gone 100% NR in a batch!

Bittersweet achievement ceremony? I'll bring the ice cream quarts.

Its not one that fills me with joy, so ice cream might not be a bad idea! :laugh: To be fair, I might have been a bit down yesterday, as I was doing application forms online for benefits relating to my new disabled status, so maybe I was just being picky, but dont think I was?
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Offline Pan

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #33 on: January 22, 2019, 07:33:53 am »
Mad Monday
Consistently good and hot. Pan stories are hit or miss with me, but this particular tale has definitely hit. I've been following it on and off for a bit so I thought I'd give it some more praise.
Good characterization, love the internal struggle of the protagonist and Belle/wife being consumed by hormones. I'm curious to see whether She'll make a scene at the 556 and what exactly Belle in Wife's body thinks of the whole situation.

I've tried to really get into this one, pretty much every time another chapter or two has been posted. The problem is, I must have missed an important detail early on, if it was provided. I just have a hard time figuring out how it was done in the first place, especially in a way that one of them notices, and the other seems to go about their life with no realization that they're in another body?

It's a bit like walking in late to the theater when a mystery is playing, and trying to connect all the dots that you missed before you arrived. Maybe I need to go back to the beginning again and try it over.

The premise is largely inspired by the Freaky Friday book (which I had as a kid), which is told entirely from the daughter's point of view. I've tried to recreate the same setup from the mother's POV, but I am so familiar with it that I may have missed something. Let me know if the first few chapters don't clear it up!
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Offline rikimaru

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #34 on: January 22, 2019, 08:20:47 am »
First time I've ever gone 100% NR in a batch!

Bittersweet achievement ceremony? I'll bring the ice cream quarts.

Its not one that fills me with joy, so ice cream might not be a bad idea! :laugh: To be fair, I might have been a bit down yesterday, as I was doing application forms online for benefits relating to my new disabled status, so maybe I was just being picky, but dont think I was?

Quite certain your take on my story wasn't out of character.  Kind of fun to be part of an anamoly, good or bad :) 

Not expecting high marks from you on this one, and more leaning towards recommending you not see it through.  Though Robert's arc is the focus, and the most engaging part for me to write.

Offline Angst

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #35 on: January 22, 2019, 10:18:35 am »
The premise is largely inspired by the Freaky Friday book (which I had as a kid), which is told entirely from the daughter's point of view. I've tried to recreate the same setup from the mother's POV, but I am so familiar with it that I may have missed something. Let me know if the first few chapters don't clear it up!
I've just gone back to the beginning. I think part of what threw me off is there is quite a lot of unattributed dialogue between two characters, but at times the same person *seems* to be speaking twice in a row (in separate paragraphs) rather than alternating. It's difficult at times to figure out exactly who is speaking.

Normally, such 'shorthand' with dialogue works fine, much better than

"blah blah blah," said Joe.
"foo foo foo," said Mary.

Over and over.  But for long chat scenes, especially if not strictly alternating, I think it gets confusing when none of the statements are clearly attached to a character.

Offline Pan

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #36 on: January 22, 2019, 02:15:55 pm »
Noted! Thanks for the feedback. :)
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Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #37 on: January 22, 2019, 04:23:13 pm »
Bimbo-Midas (mc mf ff md gr) (3 new chapters)  by Doctor MC, Mad Scientist
A leprechaun gives Jimmy a ring that turns any woman whom Jimmy touches into a bimbo.

"He's got the Midas touch, but he touched it too much! Hey, Goldmember! Hey, Goldmember ..."

Now that I'm more than used to the fast pacing, I'm greatly enjoying this. I must admit Jimmy comes off as a bit slow witted, but that is certainly intentional. It makes this all just that much more amusing. Young shallow Jimmy showed that he has some honor in him, but has no idea how to handle how that honor karmically affected him. This is a well implemented ironic joke. But perhaps, the joke is not as ironic as it would seem. We might just all be kinda stupid in our own ways when we hit that university age. That's why most go for that Bachelors, most aiming to overcome that latent stupidity toward the very things that interest us. That transformation out of stupidity mixes very well symbolically with the TF elements now coming into play. Delicious, hilarious fun thus far!

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #38 on: January 22, 2019, 04:33:58 pm »
First time I've ever gone 100% NR in a batch!

Bittersweet achievement ceremony? I'll bring the ice cream quarts.

Its not one that fills me with joy, so ice cream might not be a bad idea! :laugh: To be fair, I might have been a bit down yesterday, as I was doing application forms online for benefits relating to my new disabled status, so maybe I was just being picky, but dont think I was?

Quite certain your take on my story wasn't out of character.  Kind of fun to be part of an anamoly, good or bad :) 

Not expecting high marks from you on this one, and more leaning towards recommending you not see it through.  Though Robert's arc is the focus, and the most engaging part for me to write.

I'll let you make the call on whether I stop or not. Only doing that, because someone recently got upset when I took the call to stop reading a story, and I hate tears! :angel:
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Offline Doctor MC

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #39 on: January 22, 2019, 11:51:48 pm »
Bimbo-Midas (mc mf ff md gr) (3 new chapters)  by Doctor MC, Mad Scientist
A leprechaun gives Jimmy a ring that turns any woman whom Jimmy touches into a bimbo.

"He's got the Midas touch, but he touched it too much! Hey, Goldmember! Hey, Goldmember ..."

Now that I'm more than used to the fast pacing, I'm greatly enjoying this. I must admit Jimmy comes off as a bit slow witted, but that is certainly intentional. It makes this all just that much more amusing. Young shallow Jimmy showed that he has some honor in him, but has no idea how to handle how that honor karmically affected him. This is a well implemented ironic joke. But perhaps, the joke is not as ironic as it would seem. We might just all be kinda stupid in our own ways when we hit that university age. That's why most go for that Bachelors, most aiming to overcome that latent stupidity toward the very things that interest us. That transformation out of stupidity mixes very well symbolically with the TF elements now coming into play. Delicious, hilarious fun thus far!

Jimmy Bailey is not slow-wittedóhe's majoring in hythogal engineeringóhe's just nerdy, and thus not adept at people stuff. But you're right in that I'm putting off the moment when he realizes, "I caused all this."

I'm glad you're still enjoying this story.
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Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #40 on: January 23, 2019, 09:38:17 am »
Part 4

Binding Rings

Is Karla going to get a ring? ;) I know a 'Carla' who'd love one, but I think I'm safe from him at my age! :laugh: Fine, personally, I'd rather he used a ring on her, or Emily, but anyway... Its a great story, and if it wasnt for the incest, would be getting better marks, but because of that...
Definitely enjoyed

Following Her Dream

Mixed emotions here. I love the processing, and would love it done on me. At the same time, Violet wins no prizes for likeability, and Janet was no better pre enslavement! But fine, once Snow and Violet get together here, that scene is pretty hot
High end of definitely enjoyed

Her Motherís Daughter

Well, if Maud isnt into the SM stuff, and she really wants a slave, of a suitable age, give her my number! ;) Tell her, I want the processing, just because I'd love it, anyway... Personally, I suspect she's got 2 slaves forthcoming unless Caitlin is MC'd into being dominant anyway! :laugh:
Until the actual incest starts at least, happy to give high end of definitely enjoyed

Living Dead Girl

Gwen might be a 200 year old vampire, but she's a great character with it. Yes, I'd happily provide her a meal or 3, if she felt the need! The whole scene between the 3 of them is absolutely great, as they get to learn more about each other in here.
High end of definitely enjoyed

Last batch to follow (might be 2, might be 3, might be 4, we will see?)
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Offline rikimaru

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #41 on: January 23, 2019, 10:41:38 am »

I'll let you make the call on whether I stop or not. Only doing that, because someone recently got upset when I took the call to stop reading a story, and I hate tears! :angel:


Much appreciated, though, while I can't speak for everyone, I've thicker skin than that.  I've never really understood getting upset over tastes.  You can't please everyone, especially in this subject matter!!

Which is not to say I don't value your opinion   :)

Offline Shadra

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #42 on: January 23, 2019, 10:48:02 am »
Following Her Dream

Mixed emotions here. I love the processing, and would love it done on me. At the same time, Violet wins no prizes for likeability, and Janet was no better pre enslavement! But fine, once Snow and Violet get together here, that scene is pretty hot
High end of definitely enjoyed

Thank you as always for the review. I'm glad you find this chapter more enjoyable!

Janet certainly has made mistakes, in more ways than one. We'll get to see how she's learned from that soon, so part of me does hope that she can be redeemed in your eyes.

As for Violet, there's no hiding that she's not a good person. She's manipulative and greedy, but there's a bit more to her that I hope to explore before the end. I don't expect people to change their minds about her entirely, though.

Like I said, we're nearing the end, so I hope people that enjoyed the story thus far are satisfied with how things turn out! Big surprise planned for next chapter, can't wait to have it ready.

Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #43 on: January 23, 2019, 02:06:18 pm »
Bedazzled (Mr. Scade) (mc ff ft rb) (new)  by Mr. Scade
K convinces her two friends to visit a brand new leisure centre that is the talk of the town. With its decorated walls and disciplines some of them have always dreamed of trying, this place has more on offer than eye-catching designs on the walls and pretty women in skin-tight outfits that one canít help but stare at too long... The classes here are designed to not just improve your body, but your entire way of seeing the world.

As far back as when I reviewed stories more seriously, I had a guideline of avoiding stories greater than 5k words in a single update. However, everything about Bedazzled just screamed for be to read it: skin-tight bodysuits, robot TF! These are not new themes per-se, but sometimes it can be hard to find a story that does it in a way not generic or cliched. Here, the prologue gave off an engrossing air of etherial mystery. Not a tone setting I was expecting, but that's a great thing. There were times I found myself reminded of some of the more unreal sci-fi themes of the show Odyssey 5, which had a couple episodes that dealt with people becoming robotic in some way. The tone lightens a bit as it goes along, but that prologue ensured at least an undertone of mystery. I must say that the writing style of this was quite interesting. There was a very stream of consciousness feel. I don't always like stories written more casually, but it worked fine here, moving the reader forward in an arguably natural way. Maybe this did not have to be as long as it was, as I did not have the time to get into this as deeply as I would have liked. However, I did enjoy this unusual story overall.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #44 on: January 23, 2019, 04:18:22 pm »

I'll let you make the call on whether I stop or not. Only doing that, because someone recently got upset when I took the call to stop reading a story, and I hate tears! :angel:


Much appreciated, though, while I can't speak for everyone, I've thicker skin than that.  I've never really understood getting upset over tastes.  You can't please everyone, especially in this subject matter!!

Which is not to say I don't value your opinion   :)

You'd be surprised by some people. As CW will tell you (if appearing here), many of the reviews for stories that get no rating (not taste issues ones) used to get far blunter comments (I'm from Yorkshire, home of bluntness, lol), but a few got so hurt, I toned them down. Also had complaints about spoiling, even when I didnt come right out with full details, which is why some seem so vague nowadays.
There are also a couple who just told me they didnt want me to review their stories any more, so I dont. One was because they were hurt by the mark downs for large updates, for heavens sake!

Bedazzled (Mr. Scade) (mc ff ft rb) (new)  by Mr. Scade
K convinces her two friends to visit a brand new leisure centre that is the talk of the town. With its decorated walls and disciplines some of them have always dreamed of trying, this place has more on offer than eye-catching designs on the walls and pretty women in skin-tight outfits that one canít help but stare at too long... The classes here are designed to not just improve your body, but your entire way of seeing the world.

As far back as when I reviewed stories more seriously, I had a guideline of avoiding stories greater than 5k words in a single update. However, everything about Bedazzled just screamed for be to read it: skin-tight bodysuits, robot TF! These are not new themes per-se, but sometimes it can be hard to find a story that does it in a way not generic or cliched. Here, the prologue gave off an engrossing air of etherial mystery. Not a tone setting I was expecting, but that's a great thing. There were times I found myself reminded of some of the more unreal sci-fi themes of the show Odyssey 5, which had a couple episodes that dealt with people becoming robotic in some way. The tone lightens a bit as it goes along, but that prologue ensured at least an undertone of mystery. I must say that the writing style of this was quite interesting. There was a very stream of consciousness feel. I don't always like stories written more casually, but it worked fine here, moving the reader forward in an arguably natural way. Maybe this did not have to be as long as it was, as I did not have the time to get into this as deeply as I would have liked. However, I did enjoy this unusual story overall.

Yes, its way beyond my 20K limit too, but I do want to read it, for similar reasons
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Offline Writer345

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #45 on: January 23, 2019, 05:30:03 pm »
Part 4

Her Motherís Daughter

Well, if Maud isnt into the SM stuff, and she really wants a slave, of a suitable age, give her my number! ;) Tell her, I want the processing, just because I'd love it, anyway... Personally, I suspect she's got 2 slaves forthcoming unless Caitlin is MC'd into being dominant anyway! :laugh:
Until the actual incest starts at least, happy to give high end of definitely enjoyed


Thanks for the honest comments, Merry, three chapters to go and they've already been sent to Simon...  Thanks to your reviews I know that at least one person reads the stuff that I write and doesn't sound to disappointed so I must be doing something right!
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Offline Midori Konton

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #46 on: January 23, 2019, 08:54:51 pm »
Magical Girl Syn

Maybe it was a bad day, no idea, but seems a lot of down marks today? I'm not saying Todd and Co didnt deserve a bad fate, because they probably did. But in truth, this chapter really didnt do much for me, mainly sex and violence. Still want to know how things play out, but this chapter wasnt a great one for my tastes.
No rating, just really not my thing.

Itís a fair cop. Hereís hoping you like the next one better. :)
Love,

Jenny

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Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #47 on: January 24, 2019, 04:30:10 pm »
And getting finished...

Bedazzled (Mr. Scade)

My visits to a leisure centre in the last 10 years can be measured on the thumb of 1 hand (it was a job interview!), but I'd consider visiting this place, for the 'benefits'. Not quite sure what this disabled old lady could do (other than sauna, or jacuzzi), but who knows what might happen there. It is long, but the rb tag, and the author attracted me. Yes, I found the mc very tasty here, and Mr Scade always produces a good read.
But yes, most definitely needs to be marked down for length (should it be 2 for over 20K?), so I'll give it a definitely enjoyed

Betsy Falls for VR

Ah, Betsy comes back as the target of the author here. Fine, given I know the author in real life, her description of her amused me somewhat, just saying, unless she's been in a rejuvenating pod since I last saw her! I must admit, one of the thing I always fancied when they first come out was doing the whole VR thing, including the full immersion suit. Yes, that one might be fun, if they need another author? ;) Or I get a job as Betsy's agent? :laugh:
High end of definitely enjoyed

Broodcomb

I cant say the early part of the story grabbed me, but I gave it a skim, to see how it played out, and it got a lot more interesting! Fine, I could pass on the bees, but the actual mind control stuff done on me, whole different matter.
Length markdown, low end of definitely enjoyed

This Is Our Story

Fine, I think Hailey deserves to stay as she is, but anyway... :angel: I do like Conner's morals in trying to put things right, but I'm glad he's failed so far. If he wants to swap my looks (and dancing skills) for those of my avatar, I would really appreciate it, just saying... ;) Story is an absolute delight, I must say
High end of definitely enjoyed

Thats it for this week, thanks as always to all authors posting, reviewed or not
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Offline Mr.Scade

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #48 on: January 24, 2019, 04:33:15 pm »
Bedazzled (Mr. Scade) (mc ff ft rb) (new)  by Mr. Scade
K convinces her two friends to visit a brand new leisure centre that is the talk of the town. With its decorated walls and disciplines some of them have always dreamed of trying, this place has more on offer than eye-catching designs on the walls and pretty women in skin-tight outfits that one canít help but stare at too long... The classes here are designed to not just improve your body, but your entire way of seeing the world.

As far back as when I reviewed stories more seriously, I had a guideline of avoiding stories greater than 5k words in a single update. However, everything about Bedazzled just screamed for be to read it: skin-tight bodysuits, robot TF! These are not new themes per-se, but sometimes it can be hard to find a story that does it in a way not generic or cliched. Here, the prologue gave off an engrossing air of etherial mystery. Not a tone setting I was expecting, but that's a great thing. There were times I found myself reminded of some of the more unreal sci-fi themes of the show Odyssey 5, which had a couple episodes that dealt with people becoming robotic in some way. The tone lightens a bit as it goes along, but that prologue ensured at least an undertone of mystery. I must say that the writing style of this was quite interesting. There was a very stream of consciousness feel. I don't always like stories written more casually, but it worked fine here, moving the reader forward in an arguably natural way. Maybe this did not have to be as long as it was, as I did not have the time to get into this as deeply as I would have liked. However, I did enjoy this unusual story overall.

I thank you for your consideration.

 Length-wise, the story behind it is that the commissioner simply paid for a lot of words. And then I delivered more.

 I personally find that MCStories lends itself to episodic readings and, well, I already explained the faux pas that happened with my submission. Mea culpa.

 Recently, someone said that my writing style, both in story and out, are very fugue-like and... yeah, I think I finally understand that criticism to be part of me as a maker of words that make stories. Writing is reading, and reading is wandering the in-between spaces amongst trees in an empty forest.

 I thank you for your patience and time for some encouraging words.

Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #49 on: January 24, 2019, 04:41:24 pm »

I thank you for your consideration.

 Length-wise, the story behind it is that the commissioner simply paid for a lot of words. And then I delivered more.

 I personally find that MCStories lends itself to episodic readings and, well, I already explained the faux pas that happened with my submission. Mea culpa.

 Recently, someone said that my writing style, both in story and out, are very fugue-like and... yeah, I think I finally understand that criticism to be part of me as a maker of words that make stories. Writing is reading, and reading is wandering the in-between spaces amongst trees in an empty forest.

 I thank you for your patience and time for some encouraging words.

The length got me thinking a bit. "Binge watching" has become a big thing, and I wouldn't be the first to admit to sitting for hours to watch much of a show's season. Yet, MC stories tend to be episodic, especially in how we have traditionally liked to read them. Can binge reading be encouraged here? Is reading ~5k works at the most in a single sitting truly the max for the MC reading experience? I think that this might be a positive discussion amongst the MC readers and writers at some point.

Offline Merry Brooks

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #50 on: January 24, 2019, 04:46:30 pm »
I pretty much pledge to read 'suitable' stuff under 10K, guaranteed. 10-20K, I will give it a try, but probably has to grab me quickly to continue. The longer it is, the more it has to grab me. Over 20K, very rare I read any, though I did this week, due to tag, and author

Oh, and aided by fact I'm on holiday this week
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Offline Shadra

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #51 on: January 24, 2019, 04:50:30 pm »
For me, the issue is that when I read, I do so just before bed. Anything over 10k and I'm either going to fall asleep during it, or stay up later than I want trying to finish.

Offline Leigh Malheur

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #52 on: January 24, 2019, 06:47:32 pm »
Is reading ~5k works at the most in a single sitting truly the max for the MC reading experience?
That depends. Does your story deliver?
If your story fucking delivers, I might read 50k. I might be tired at work tomorrow because of your story, and not even regret it. Adrammalech, for example, delivers. (Personal opinion.) So he can write however many words he wants to.
If not, yeah, 5k at best.

Best,
~Leigh

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #53 on: January 24, 2019, 08:16:51 pm »
For me, the issue is that when I read, I do so just before bed. Anything over 10k and I'm either going to fall asleep during it, or stay up later than I want trying to finish.

I broke Marital Strain up into manageable chunks for this reason. 35K in one go is intimidating. last chapter on saturday though.

Offline Ice Bear

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #54 on: January 25, 2019, 01:53:54 am »
I broke Marital Strain up into manageable chunks for this reason. 35K in one go is intimidating. last chapter on saturday though.
I would read 35k words of Limerick any day.
(That's the author Limerick, not actual limericks, which would probably get tedious a couple thousand words in.)
Though yes, since I'd otherwise read it in a day, my thanks for helping me pace myself. :)

Offline Mr.Scade

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #55 on: January 26, 2019, 03:48:51 am »
FOr me, reading on the computer has been my main limit on reading long epic stories, both erotic and otherwise, posted online. Since getting a Tablet things have changed, however, I also work on the computer most days so.... last thing I want to do before bed is have white light blasted into my retinas.

 As such, short reading is better. But that depends, also on the quality. There are authors you read because they have sexy ideas hidden amongst the bad grammar - Gettoman, for me, is someone I skim over and get done with quickly. Leigh's got the right of it: if it is quality, it'll be read. It just so happens that there is just SO MUCH stuff to read and watch and experience that our attention must be hooked quickly. Snap decisions, value judgment, all that.

 Conversations within the community help a world. Telling our friends that there is this "totally cool and epic story you should read when you can". That the website works on chapters helps a lot. Though, when I read book I personally like stopping wherever I stop, not on a chapter-by-chapter basis. Different readings styles depend on the tools at hand.

 But I do believe that longer works have a home here. If it is easier for readers to do it episodically, great. But eventually the story will be finished and found my someone else years after.

 Silver Eclipse was the first story I read over two weeks here, after all.

Offline Archibael

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #56 on: January 26, 2019, 08:38:49 am »
For reading,  I prefer shorter if the author is an unknown quantity for me... I don't feel like making an investment in a longer story unless I'm fairly certain I'm not going to abandon the tale halfway through.  If it's a known (to me) good author or the summary is extremely promising,  I'll try a longer one,  but even serials I often wait on until the reviews by others chime in and my interest is piqued.

On the completely hypocritical other hand,  my last several stories (with one exception that was just written on a whim and was more like a joke with a punchline rather than a fully fleshed-out tale) clock in at 10,000+ because I just don't feel I can deliver adequate characterization or pacing much smaller than that.  I've written them in the 3-5K range, but they feel rushed to me,  and I feel like have to use too many authorial tricks and cheats.
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Offline mr potestas

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #57 on: January 28, 2019, 10:16:37 pm »
Just a pleasant FYI, itís a free ebook  :)
Besides the occasional paperback, the vast majority of my work is a non-profit endeavor these days.
Thanks for pointing out the errors, Iíll correct that before itís posted on the blog in itís entirety

Perhaps you would be kind enough to post a link when your book is completed?  I for one, would very much like to read the full story.

Hey, here's the link to the full story. https://mrpotestas.wordpress.com/2019/01/28/jip-the-lost-amazons/

Offline Writer345

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Re: New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019
« Reply #58 on: January 29, 2019, 02:13:47 am »
Just a pleasant FYI, itís a free ebook  :)
Besides the occasional paperback, the vast majority of my work is a non-profit endeavor these days.
Thanks for pointing out the errors, Iíll correct that before itís posted on the blog in itís entirety

Perhaps you would be kind enough to post a link when your book is completed?  I for one, would very much like to read the full story.

Hey, here's the link to the full story. https://mrpotestas.wordpress.com/2019/01/28/jip-the-lost-amazons/

Thank you. Sir!
Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

er, has anyone seen my TARDIS?