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The Adventures of Sultry Girl (https://mcstories.com/AdventuresOfSultryGirl/index.html) (mc mf ff md fd cb) (2 new chapters) by CrystalWitch
A kinky transgender superhero faces of against a litany of equally perverted villains.
Aftermarket (Fugue) (https://mcstories.com/AftermarketFugue/index.html) (mc mf md) (new) by Fugue
Mahop BioLabs produces docile, sexy little playthings from housewives and soccer moms. How do they do that?
And... Freeze (https://mcstories.com/AndFreeze/index.html) (mc fd ds ex) (new) by NickelModelTales
Two beautiful identical twins win an opportunity to pose at Beverly Hills’ most exclusive lingerie boutique, a mysterious, alluring store only known as “Entranced.”
Binding Rings (https://mcstories.com/BindingRings/index.html) (mc mf md in) (1 new chapter) by Sidia
A chance discovery changes a young man’s life—and not always for the better.
Blizzard (https://mcstories.com/Blizzard/index.html) (mc mf ff) (1 new chapter) by Redsliver
When Gene treats a strange visitor to better hospitality than she thinks she’s worth, she overcompensates him with three beautiful co-ed princesses. Auditors have been notified of the discrepancy.
But I Don’t Really Want This (https://mcstories.com/ButIReallyDontWantThis/index.html) (mc mf md fd gr hm) (1 new chapter) by Pomelo
Will and Nicole find their relationship changing again in at first subtle and then not-so-subtle ways.
College Undercover (https://mcstories.com/CollegeUndercover/index.html) (mc mf md) (1 new chapter) by Greyscribbler
Carol goes undercover to find out what happened to missing college girls.
Dumbing Down Pumping Up (https://mcstories.com/DumbingDownPumpingUp/index.html) (mc) (new) by Anonymous-046
A powerful bing that loves turning intellgient successful people into dumb ignorant sex minded sluts and bodybuilding whores who only care for sex and live a short but albeit life of total ignorance and debauchery.
Editing Reality Book One: Naughty Fantasies Created (https://mcstories.com/EditingReality/index.html) (mc mf gr in ts) (2 new chapters) by mypenname3000
Steve gets a phone app that lets him edit other people.
Following Her Dream (https://mcstories.com/FollowingHerDream/index.html) (mc ff) (1 new chapter) by Shadra
Janet takes the necessary steps towards obtaining her dream girl.
Hair Today (https://mcstories.com/HairToday/index.html) (mc mf md hm) (new) by Wandrer
A girl buys one of Matam’s fetishes and finds that cutting her long hair has horrifying effects on her intellect.
Hot Blood: Sexiness and Lust in a Silicon Valley Startup (https://mcstories.com/HotBlood/index.html) (mc mf fd) (1 new chapter) by AskJeeves
The CEO of a startup gives a compelling presentation to investors.
In a Glance (https://mcstories.com/InAGlance/index.html) (mc ff cb ds ex) (new) by Madam Kistulot
Heart learns what it means to be a part of Chronos, and learns more about herself thanks to an appointment with The Lady.
Incubus (https://mcstories.com/IncubusJenniferKohl/index.html) (mc mf ff md) (1 new chapter) by Jennifer Kohl
Christina summons a demon, who has the ability to grant her greatest desire.
Ingrained Resistance (https://mcstories.com/IngrainedResistance/index.html) (mc ff) (new) by MoldedMind
The well-known, and feared, veteran mind-controller Silveya kidnaps her next victim. There’s just one problem... this victim has been preparing herself for this eventuality, and she has programmed herself full of counter-commands. Will they be strong enough to finally challenge her kidnapper? Or will even she surrender in the end?
It Rings for Thee (https://mcstories.com/ItRingsForThee/index.html) (mc ff) (1 new chapter) by Doctor D.
Things are tedious but predictable in the thriving city-state of Saltpotter. Until a couple of visitors come looking for something they’ve lost, something Saltpotter might have. And if not? They can replace it.
It Runs in the Family (https://mcstories.com/ItRunsInTheFamily/index.html) (mc ff in ma hm) (1 new chapter) by Sammynona
Connie’s secretly in love with her best friend Tara. But also Tara’s older sister Jane. And their young mother Michelle too. It was always an impossible dream to make the Silva family into her own harem of lovers, until she found out that Tara’s grandmother was a hypnotist.
Laser Tag Party (https://mcstories.com/LaserTagParty/index.html) (mc ff) (1 new chapter) by Scalar Seventh
Sam Miller just wants to have a fun bachelorette party with her friends. And what could be more fun than ordering pizza, renting out the local laser tag business for the day, and getting everyone Altered to boot?
The (Late) Much Loved Old Clem (https://mcstories.com/LateMuchLovedOldClem/index.html) (mc mf md) (new) by Maximilian Cummings
Lucy and her new husband settle into their honeymoon holiday cottage. Is it all in Lucy’s mind or is it really haunted?
Losers Can’t Be Choosers (https://mcstories.com/LosersCantBeChoosers/index.html) (mc mf fd hm) (1 new chapter) by S. B.
As much as he enjoys it, Jonah knows he’s addicted to femdom humiliation. Perhaps his sister Angela, a skilled hypnotherapist, can help him with that.
The Mask Becomes You (https://mcstories.com/MaskBecomesYou/index.html) (mc ff mf fd) (1 new chapter) by Carefully Random
Two college students discover a strange mask that makes the words of the wearer irresistible. They soon discover that it’s even hard to resist using the mask, and that the wearer’s thoughts may no longer be their own...
The Milleniad — Motley Manághann (https://mcstories.com/MilleniadMotleyManaghann/index.html) (mc fd) (new) by Meleva
A story from a time before the stars, when men and the gods lived together as one. An enrapturing storyteller stakes out her claim in the skies with a farewell tour to remember.
Persuasive (Fancrafted) (https://mcstories.com/PersuasiveFancrafted/index.html) (mc md) (3 new chapters) by Fancrafted
Jordan begins her first day of her new job with an orientation session with her new boss.
A Plethora of Heathers (https://mcstories.com/PlethoraOfHeathers/index.html) (mc fd ds hm) (1 new chapter) by Betsy Leohtar
Heather’s is a restaurant owned by Heather. It’s very profitable.
Properly Handled (https://mcstories.com/ProperlyHandled/index.html) (mc mf ff md fd in) (new) by Extantelan
A brother and sister grow closer over a shared love of mind control and other various kinks and perversions.
The Retainer (https://mcstories.com/Retainer/index.html) (mc mf ff md gr) (new) by TheHandsThatLead
Starting a new law firm can be a challenge, it’s a good thing that Abigale managed to poach one of the big clients from her former firm when she left.
Return of the Armored Warrior (https://mcstories.com/ReturnOfTheArmoredWarrior/index.html) (mc ff md fd cb) (1 new chapter) by J. Darksong
Erika Patrick, daughter of Tina Patrick, has moved to River City to make a new life for herself. She soon learns that things are a lot rougher in River City than back home in New York, but when Shining Paladin runs into trouble, she finds a mentor, someone who will take her under his wing, and together, they might not only rekindle an old legacy, they might even surpass it.
Serving the Seniors (https://mcstories.com/ServingTheSeniors/index.html) (mc ff) (1 new chapter) by Witchman
Judy volunteers to provide home care for a senior.
The Sincerest Expression of Love (https://mcstories.com/SincerestExpressionOfLove/index.html) (mc mf md) (1 new chapter) by Extantelan
A man with the ability to control the physical actions of others searches for submissive women who appreciate his talent.
61 Days in River City (https://mcstories.com/SixtyOneDaysInRiverCity/index.html) (mc mf cb) (1 new chapter) by Betsy Leohtar
SureShot has a contract to kill Alicia. Sonia intends to stop him, even if she has to kill him, because she wants to kill Alicia herself. All the supers in River City are no help to Sonia at all.
Stranger Tales (https://mcstories.com/StrangerTales/index.html) (mc mf md) (new) by Quiet Hypnotist
A confusing and hypnosis induction leads girls towards a curious realization.
Subroutine (Kallie) (https://mcstories.com/SubroutineKalie/index.html) (mc ff) (1 new chapter) by Kallie
Lori, a college student, discovers she has a hypnotic trigger that turns her into a mindless, obedient drone. How? Why? And what’s going to happen when her roommate finds out?
This Job Bites (https://mcstories.com/ThisJobBites/index.html) (mc ff md fd) (1 new chapter) by Sleepy Hypno
Kelli goes in for a job interview with the mysterious Alan Card.
The Ultimate Form (https://mcstories.com/UltimateForm/index.html) (mc mf md gr in) (1 new chapter) by MindSpark
A washed-up loser is chosen to be the subject of a military nanite experiment.
Unlimited (https://mcstories.com/Unlimited/index.html) (mc mf md in) (1 new chapter) by Pan
A hypnotist recounts the final sessions with his sister.
Were-Tigress (https://mcstories.com/WereTigress/index.html) (mc mf fd gr) (1 new chapter) by MɛtaBob
A family man learns magic, mostly the hard way.
Yew and Me (https://mcstories.com/YewAndMe/index.html) (mc ff) (new) by Writer345
Lilith Yew, powerful leader of the Martian colonization movement, faces more threats to her efforts to establish human colonies on Mars.
You Broke Like Glass (https://mcstories.com/YouBrokeLikeGlass/index.html) (mc mm) (new) by Jukebox
Wayne doesn’t think he can be hypnotized, but Jerry keeps telling him it’s happened before.
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The update to It Runs in the Family started out hilarious. Then got hot. Then got extremely hot. Then ended with hilarity. Can't wait for more.
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"College Undercover" comes to an end. Pretty close to the ending that a lot of us saw coming, but just because something is predictable doesn't mean that it isn't good. The scene with the last victim was particularly sexy. I wonder if Carol would consider turning her daughter or Janice's daughters into whores...I guess we'll never know.
Anyway, sexy ending to a sexy story. I found the title drop at the end amusing, since it always amused me to think about how this door stopper story was called "College Undercover" despite the fact that Carol was undercover for, I forget, like three paragraphs max in the first chapter.
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I was puzzled by a passage from "Binding Rings".
And then of course there was the unexpected encounter with both his aunt and his mother on the couch. Remembering how they had interacted together with him still managed to make him uncomfortably hard.
I don't remember this happening. And maybe I'm mistaken but I've been eagerly waiting for the moment when aunt and mom finally got together with the protagonist--which happened at the end of this installment and was very sexy.
In other topics I'm puzzled by the scene with the teacher. She doesn't have rings, does she? Is the protagonist just strangely compelling without MC powers or is something else going on?
Anyway, another good installment.
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Is College Undercover worth getting into? The set-up and setting seem right up my alley, but the fist chapter didnt grab me and, (as hypocritical as this is to say as someone with a fetish for brainwashing women for sex), i didnt like the cruelty in training the first girl in chapter one with the water. Is it more like that, or does it steer back to actual depictions of brainwashing and hypnosis?
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@Hypnospects: I actually opened this thread to exactly answer that question!
Ultimately, College Undercover was too dark for me. It's incredibly-written, hot from start to finish, but the ending is as cruel as the start was. It signals its tone loud and clear, and it's wormed its evil way into my head, but for me it's not a recommend if you don't enjoy the first chapter.
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Is College Undercover worth getting into? The set-up and setting seem right up my alley, but the fist chapter didnt grab me and, (as hypocritical as this is to say as someone with a fetish for brainwashing women for sex), i didnt like the cruelty in training the first girl in chapter one with the water. Is it more like that, or does it steer back to actual depictions of brainwashing and hypnosis?
One thing I can tell you is that after that opening chapter there are no more depictions of withholding food and water as a means of forcing a victim to say the words. In fact, almost all of the rest of the story is Carol and Janice trying to fight the words in their heads. The cruel ending that Pan refers to--well ok, it's cruel, but withholding food and water isn't part of the method.
Actually I think the cruelest chapter was a couple of chapters before that when Carol looked up Janice after the first big time skip. That was cruel, but in a different way.
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"College Undercover" comes to an end. Pretty close to the ending that a lot of us saw coming, but just because something is predictable doesn't mean that it isn't good. The scene with the last victim was particularly sexy. I wonder if Carol would consider turning her daughter or Janice's daughters into whores...I guess we'll never know.
Anyway, sexy ending to a sexy story. I found the title drop at the end amusing, since it always amused me to think about how this door stopper story was called "College Undercover" despite the fact that Carol was undercover for, I forget, like three paragraphs max in the first chapter.
A time jump to the 1990s. Because the 90s are big again! Hooray! Or maybe not... I suddenly feel quite a bit older... :grin:
For a story that Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
"College Undercover" really knew how to throw out some hot, sexy scenes. I wonder if there will be a sequel set in the modern era?
I also enjoyed that
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
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I'll have to get around to that story one of these days, if only to test the waters with that first chapter.
The Mask Becomes You continues to be an enjoyable read that I am still so happy to have back. Some wonderful fun moments in there, aside from that one disappointing scene. (You know the one, CR >:D)
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I wonder if there will be a sequel set in the modern era?
Dunno. If you ask me one of the darkest parts in the story was the brief reference near the end when Carol thinks about what might happen after she can't cover up the wrinkles. If she's past 40 in the 1990s she's got to be in the neighborhood of 65 now and maybe we won't want to read about how Carol is interpreting "I love it when men use me sexually" when she's on Social Security.
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I wonder if there will be a sequel set in the modern era?
Dunno. If you ask me one of the darkest parts in the story was the brief reference near the end when Carol thinks about what might happen after she can't cover up the wrinkles. If she's past 40 in the 1990s she's got to be in the neighborhood of 65 now and maybe we won't want to read about how Carol is interpreting "I love it when men use me sexually" when she's on Social Security.
I'll write some more soon, but just one thing for now. Carole will never be on Social Security. Her companies make too much money for her to need that.
Greyscribbler
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Had to work today and tomorrow so no time at all to go through all these stories or comment.
So I gotta keep this short on what I have.
College Undercover Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
Kallies' Dreams was terrific. That chapter was hot as hell with what happened between Snow, Violet and Janet. Wow. And a terrific battle going on between good Janet and bad all the while. Love the double layer there Shadra. And of course the cliff hanger end to make us want more.
Scalar Sevenths Laser Tag Party is a very subtle interesting story. Very sophisticated and nuanced tale I like it a lot and it gets better and better as it goes along. I wonder how this one will end up because I have no idea. It could get really dark, or not. Lots of factors in the story that could decide that. And it keeps getting hotter and hotter as it progresses. And I like that too.
You can see Scalar put a ton of time and thought in this story and shows all the way. Great job.
The Retainer by The Hand That Leads was a really fun throwback to some of the stories I read here years ago. Two young girls, friends, with a future get involved with the wrong company and wrong person. Future changed! And what a twisty, wicked ending. Loved it! Another hot story too.
Sorry about the others but like I said, just no time this weekend cuz I don't have one.
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Tone aside (which is 100% a personal preference thing) the only fly in the ointment that is College Undercover is
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
Again, though - an otherwise flawless story. Amazing writing.
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The Retainer by The Hand That Leads was a really fun throwback to some of the stories I read here years ago. Two young girls, friend, with a future get involved with the wrong company and wrong person. Future changed! And what a twisty, wicked ending. Loved it! Another hot story too.
Thanks, glad you liked it.
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I wonder if there will be a sequel set in the modern era?
Dunno. If you ask me one of the darkest parts in the story was the brief reference near the end when Carol thinks about what might happen after she can't cover up the wrinkles. If she's past 40 in the 1990s she's got to be in the neighborhood of 65 now and maybe we won't want to read about how Carol is interpreting "I love it when men use me sexually" when she's on Social Security.
I'll write some more soon, but just one thing for now. Carole will never be on Social Security. Her companies make too much money for her to need that.
Greyscribbler
She won't be on Social Security but she'll draw it just like everyone else who's reported taxable income does. I was only making a point about what would surely be a very dark epilogue once Carol ages past the whoring years. Dunno, maybe she can give BJs in the rest home.
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As for whether it's realistic for Carol to want to be an informant, I dunno, she was a policewoman before she got the words, and she did have that still in the back of her head even as the words came to dominate her, so it seemed realistic enough to me that she became an informant as an outlet for that part of herself.
If you want to nitpick the story I'd say nitpick the part that I annoyed Greyscribbler about a while back, namely, the idea that Wainwright would allow her to commit criminal acts (whoring). That just wouldn't happen; no cop would allow that as part of an investigation. It would have been more logical for Carol the policewoman to lie to Wainwright and tell him that she had a whore as the confidential informant when in fact she was the informant.
But that's just a nitpick about a great story with a great ending. Really did end on an exceptionally sexy high note IMHO.
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As for whether it's realistic for Carol to want to be an informant, I dunno, she was a policewoman before she got the words, and she did have that still in the back of her head even as the words came to dominate her, so it seemed realistic enough to me that she became an informant as an outlet for that part of herself.
Oh yeah I expressed it poorly - it made total sense to me that she'd become an informant.
I just didn't buy that it would hold equal footing in her head with the mind control, enough that it basically defined her for the 'new' chapters (most everything that wasn't posted the first time through).
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I dunno. I loved College Undercover, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like the time skip happened one chapter too soon. I would have much rather seen Ellen break than hear about it after the fact, and the cliffhanger at the end of the previous chapter was basically left unresolved. It was initially disorienting, and a bit disappointing. That said, Carol breaking Kelly was really hot, and I do like where she ended up. Just not the sudden rush to get us there.
As always I am heavily biased, but I continue to love Hot Blood. This week’s chapter really made me squirm with the whole “thoughts in your cock” thing.
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I just noticed Properly Handled has two chapter ones. Not sure if typo, or if we're restarting the numbering for each character.
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I dunno. I loved College Undercover, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like the time skip happened one chapter too soon. I would have much rather seen Ellen break than hear about it after the fact, and the cliffhanger at the end of the previous chapter was basically left unresolved. It was initially disorienting, and a bit disappointing. That said, Carol breaking Kelly was really hot, and I do like where she ended up. Just not the sudden rush to get us there.
That's true! Actually I was surprised that Ellen's processing was described after the fact. But I thought the scene with the new girl was just as effective.
I hope these posts aren't sounding too negative as I really did enjoy "College Undercover".
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I just noticed Properly Handled has two chapter ones. Not sure if typo, or if we're restarting the numbering for each character.
I can't say. All I know is I submitted them at the same time but separated, in large part, because I did not feel confident enough to weave alternating points of view within the same chapter. Its more practice for me, though this will allow me to combine the two if I feel comfortable enough and the entire narrative will still be in the same place, if I ever go that route. Do people usually do it differently?
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Seeing the end to College Undercover is kind of sad. If this was a show on netflix, I'd watch it again.
The ending was perfect, imo, since Carol/Stephanie is so entranced with how good it is to be a whore. That being the case, it only makes sense that she'd want to help other girls experience the joy, too.
I thought GS might incorporate Patrick's daughter. The way he handled it was genius, though I would have loved to see her turned into a whore rather than hearing about it years after the fact. Of course, the way the story ends, there's plenty of room for Ellen's story to continue the saga. Will Ellen become the new madam, or will she be "condemned" to always be the subordinate? Will Patrick ever find out what was done to his girl? What was the transformation like? Has the new process made the change more seamless and accepted? How do the new whores incorporate turning tricks with their day jobs?
Greyscribbler did a great job with the tale and we're all the better for it. Sad that it's over, but there's hope that well see more in the years to come.
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That chapter was hot as hell with what happened between Snow, Violet and Janet. Wow. And a terrific battle going on between good Janet and bad all the while. Love the double layer there Shadra. And of course the cliff hanger end to make us want more.
Thank you! Gotta have the cliffhanger, otherwise why else would someone want to continue reading!? =P
I had some writing feedback before I started this chapter that I tried to incorporate. Was told that I was using adverbs way too often in every chapter. Looked it up, and sure enough a lot of writers hate adverbs with a passion. Did my best to go through and clean it up. Put in more time and effort editing/revising this chapter than any other. Would love to get some feedback on how it is, quality-wise. I've always said I never intend or expect to be a masterful writer, but if anyone has any tips or suggestions on how I can improve, I'd appreciate it.
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Getting started
Aftermarket (Fugue)
Fine, one magic question got me reading this, as to how the process was done. Sadly, in this chapter at least, I got no info on that front, great shame. So in that sense, this chapter had little but intrigue, and too much humiliation for my tastes. But fine, I'm intrigued as to how the process is done, just to see how much I fancy it done to me!
Given I dont rate for intrigue (which would be high), but for what I've read, I'm going to be non committal, no rating. But yes, I could be convinced? ;)
Incubus
I love the way Jenny manages to work a fascinating chess match type situation into her stories, and this has definitely got these going very nicely. I also know with her that the winner may not be the obvious one, which also adds to the fun. She's a great writer, you should be reading this
High end of definitely enjoyed
Losers Can’t Be Choosers
Fine, Gail more than thoroughly deserved it, but still, ouch! Mind, ouch for what Angela did to herself too. Still reckon Jonah's release might be a fun moment, mind. And yes, of course I want to (eventually) know that Clarissa is fine, lol. Great stuff as ever, if a little violent
Definitely enjoyed. Too much pain handed out for high end from me, even if some is deserved. :angel:
A Plethora of Heathers
Oh please, dear. Heaven Tanner Carpenter, and now a 60 year old with Osteoporosis? Starts singing Killing Me Softly with her song! :P Fine, I'm looking forward to finding out whats in store for Heaven, first Robot transformation experiment wouldnt surprise me, nor would making a modern woman think she was a literal 20's Flapper! This is the usual funny, well written, comedic chaos I expect from Betsy, in truth. Mainly through her writing, partly because I've met her too!
High end of definitely enjoyed. Could easily have given more, but lets see what she has planned for Heaven first. Oh, and the poor 60 year old with major back issues too! :P
This Job Bites
Oh please, if I'm ever fit enough to go to work again (questionable), I'd love a job here! Too old for Alan I'm sure, but if he ever wants some vintage blood... ;) Also loved the twists and turns here, great stuff. Just a shame I'm not the next project!
High end of definitely enjoyed. Considered more, and happy to discuss with Alan if he wishes? ;)
More to follow
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Incubus
I love the way Jenny manages to work a fascinating chess match type situation into her stories, and this has definitely got these going very nicely. I also know with her that the winner may not be the obvious one, which also adds to the fun. She's a great writer, you should be reading this
High end of definitely enjoyed
Aww, thank you! I do enjoy that kind of struggle, battle of wits type situation between controller and controlled. I just wish I could have one IRL--I turn out to be WAY too eager to go under to do much resisting, lol.
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Losers Can’t Be Choosers
Fine, Gail more than thoroughly deserved it, but still, ouch! Mind, ouch for what Angela did to herself too. Still reckon Jonah's release might be a fun moment, mind. And yes, of course I want to (eventually) know that Clarissa is fine, lol. Great stuff as ever, if a little violent
Definitely enjoyed. Too much pain handed out for high end from me, even if some is deserved. :angel:
Thank you, dear. Only two chapters to go and Clarissa appears in the last one. The ending is a happy one, even if bittersweet though. you'll know more when you get there.
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Part 2
But I Don’t Really Want This
This story is a bit hit or miss with me, depending on my perceived levels of humiliation involved. For that reason, this chapter was pretty much a miss for me. Could have been worse, with real tatts, but anyway...
No rating for this chapter, taste issues
Hot Blood: Sexiness and Lust in a Silicon Valley Startup
Talking of places I'd love to work, if I'm ever healthy enough to do so again, this is another one! I love Lavinia's way of dealing with doubters, and she could deal with me in a similar manner, though she might need to find a different way to get rid of my thoughts! Or my lack of doubts, but goodness, this was fun. With luck, I might get a clue or two with Jaiyana. ;)
High end of definitely enjoyed
Return of the Armored Warrior
Talking also of authors who know exactly how to push my buttons, JD is another. Yes, he knows I'd love the process done to Erika to be done to me, seriously. He also writes brilliant banter between her, and Gene, which has me giggling totally. Just wonder which desire Evangeline was stronger with me, the robot, or the flapper? No contest in past, but now, well...?
Low end of much enjoyed. Hopefully that gets me an invite to the Frasier lab, where I might need to lose some clothing? :laugh:
61 Days in River City
And while we're in River City... This is the crazier version, mind. Mind, I'm just imagining Sonia and/or Vicky finding themselves in that lab, and well...? I think they might have a few people/goddesses they've annoyed, anyway? Yes, their whole rescue scene is hilarious stuff, in so many ways. Manic, comical fun, great stuff
High end of definitely enjoyed
Stranger Tales
Fun enough little hypno piece. Story is nicely set up, even if the actual trance stuff does literally zero, in more senses than one, for me.
Low end of definitely enjoyed for me, middle of road for hypno fans
More tomorrow hopefully
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Properly Handled (https://mcstories.com/ProperlyHandled/index.html) (mc mf ff md fd in) (new) by Extantelan
A brother and sister grow closer over a shared love of mind control and other various kinks and perversions.
Beyond the IN tag, I greatly enjoy reading stories that shift perspective. I would not be the first to say that it can be difficult to do in a readable way, while there is not necessarily one way to do it. Splitting perspective between chaps is a more than fine method to keep everything clear! Anyway, the fact that these two have a surprisingly friendly relationship at the start technically makes this all feel a bit less extreme than it could have. More an observation via the brother's perspective, but still notable. I'm also not sure if I would be shocked in the way Budda was, but then again us MC author's might as well be showing off our fantastical fantasies! Ultimately, I found myself far more engaged in Bobbi's side of the story. There were hints of things, but the sister's first chap could have read fine without the brother's. Bobbi's starting out as fun and devious, while her brother is starting off duller than my own personal life. There's still a lot of multi-perspective promise here, so we'll see where this goes ...
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"College Undercover" comes to an end. Pretty close to the ending that a lot of us saw coming, but just because something is predictable doesn't mean that it isn't good. The scene with the last victim was particularly sexy. I wonder if Carol would consider turning her daughter or Janice's daughters into whores...I guess we'll never know.
Anyway, sexy ending to a sexy story. I found the title drop at the end amusing, since it always amused me to think about how this door stopper story was called "College Undercover" despite the fact that Carol was undercover for, I forget, like three paragraphs max in the first chapter.
Hi Gyrd
Glad you like the ending. The ending was set some time ago. It was the only place I thought it could end up. Their daughters? well, we know what the original Mrs Bowen would say about that...
And yes, Carole wasn't undercover at College all that long. Oh well.
Greyscribbler
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A Plethora of Heathers
Oh please, dear. Heaven Tanner Carpenter, and now a 60 year old with Osteoporosis? Starts singing Killing Me Softly with her song! :P Fine, I'm looking forward to finding out whats in store for Heaven, first Robot transformation experiment wouldnt surprise me, nor would making a modern woman think she was a literal 20's Flapper! This is the usual funny, well written, comedic chaos I expect from Betsy, in truth. Mainly through her writing, partly because I've met her too!
High end of definitely enjoyed. Could easily have given more, but lets see what she has planned for Heaven first. Oh, and the poor 60 year old with major back issues too! :P
Thank you for reading this again. I hope the rest is up to standard.
'Oh please, dear.'? You don't know me very well, petal. I'm very inexpensive, very Aldi.
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61 Days in River City
And while we're in River City... This is the crazier version, mind. Mind, I'm just imagining Sonia and/or Vicky finding themselves in that lab, and well...? I think they might have a few people/goddesses they've annoyed, anyway? Yes, their whole rescue scene is hilarious stuff, in so many ways. Manic, comical fun, great stuff
High end of definitely enjoyed
Thank you so much. I hope you like the rest.
As you know, I didn't invent the River City trope. I just jumped in feet first and looked around. And I noted something interesting. My version is not the crazier version, it's the realistic version, the others are the sanitised versions. It's just an observation from someone who isn't immersed in the trope and who can't see the wood for the trees. Just sayin.
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Fine, fine... >:D
I'm in the wrong mood for this tonight, be warned! Been dealing with LGBT (mainly T) issues tonight for people, thanks to a set of newspaper articles today, so...
Cheap Betsy,
I'll give you your due, you werent expensive when I met you in Newcastle. And yes, I'll grant you, the request I was expecting for the fur coat never arrived, so I'll grant you that. But you, Aldi, no, sorry, dont see that at all.
As to River City, technically I've seen 3 versions of it. That of the late 20's/early 30's, a brief traverse to the mid 60's, and then some pretty recent going on's there too. Apart from the first night Billie tried to vape, in deference to modern smoking laws :o, I've never seen anything as crazy as your version of RC. Just saying
Love you really, petal :-* :-* :-*
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Properly Handled (https://mcstories.com/ProperlyHandled/index.html) (mc mf ff md fd in) (new) by Extantelan
A brother and sister grow closer over a shared love of mind control and other various kinks and perversions.
Beyond the IN tag, I greatly enjoy reading stories that shift perspective. I would not be the first to say that it can be difficult to do in a readable way, while there is not necessarily one way to do it. Splitting perspective between chaps is a more than fine method to keep everything clear! Anyway, the fact that these two have a surprisingly friendly relationship at the start technically makes this all feel a bit less extreme than it could have. More an observation via the brother's perspective, but still notable. I'm also not sure if I would be shocked in the way Budda was, but then again us MC author's might as well be showing off our fantastical fantasies! Ultimately, I found myself far more engaged in Bobbi's side of the story. There were hints of things, but the sister's first chap could have read fine without the brother's. Bobbi's starting out as fun and devious, while her brother is starting off duller than my own personal life. There's still a lot of multi-perspective promise here, so we'll see where this goes ...
Thank you for the kind words.
TBH Bobbi is the firecracker for several reasons, mainly I wanted to get her tone right moving forward. Being new at this I wasn't comfortable writing a female character and knew I had to balance bubba's flaws with a well, a waifu :P . Bubba's passive voice is intentional, its is indicative of his personality and also serves as discipline exercise for myself. That said I can assure you that I am a Tier One, true blue, top shelf pervert ((as you can read in my other story)) and while I have come to actually like Bobbi and therefore won't allow Bubba to truly harm her, lets just say she may be in way over her head. :-)
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Anytime ExtantElan! Look forward to more.
On another note, an admin has yet to pin this thread to the top of the forum .. :)
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Maybe they've been mind controlled not to do so? :laugh: :angel:
Part 3
Binding Rings
I have one obvious problem with this, the incest. In truth, without that, I'd be loving this, but sorry, son, and mother, not for me! Loving the chess logic with Emma over the end of the date.
Compromise? Low end of definitely enjoyed. Would get high end if no incest, but thats my tastes! :angel:
Blizzard
This is just one I love. The characters are great, the story is great, and I love where its heading at present. Just the weather thats not my thing, lol! :P
High end of definitely enjoyed
Ingrained Resistance
Fine, I could do with an offer like Silveya's, and she might even be able to sort out my mind for me in more ways than one. On the other hand, I'm old, and not attractive, so ah well... :( Loved the story, brilliantly done, brilliantly played out
High end of definitely enjoyed
The (Late) Much Loved Old Clem
I love Max's stuff, though I'm never sure how much of that is the British thing? This is another delightful story from Mr Cummings, and I dont think we've seen the last of Clem, somehow?
High end of definitely enjoyed
Serving the Seniors
I know, first chapter was 18 years ago, but it was short, as was new chapter, and I am now a senior, so...beyond one small point, you really dont need to read the old chapter, but it does add to the amusement if you do, just saying...Thing is, this 'senior' would want to be on the receiving end, anyway! :laugh: 2 fun chapters, first one appealed more, probably because its ff (new chapter is md mf) but both are worth reading
High end of definitely enjoyed
In truth, any of last 4, but for the competition, could have got a low end of much enjoyed. But trying to split them would have been hard, but couldnt give 4 the higher mark. But if any, especially Silveya wish to discuss...? ;) More to come, hopefully tomorrow, health permitting
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Blizzard
This is just one I love. The characters are great, the story is great, and I love where its heading at present. Just the weather thats not my thing, lol! :P
High end of definitely enjoyed
I'd say the same thing as we had a snowstorm on Monday. Yay... Spring... That said, I loved writing this chapter, Gene's brother is one of the most fun characters I've ever written.
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I know I've read Hair Today before... is it new to MCstories? ???
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"College Undercover" comes to an end. Pretty close to the ending that a lot of us saw coming, but just because something is predictable doesn't mean that it isn't good. The scene with the last victim was particularly sexy. I wonder if Carol would consider turning her daughter or Janice's daughters into whores...I guess we'll never know.
Anyway, sexy ending to a sexy story. I found the title drop at the end amusing, since it always amused me to think about how this door stopper story was called "College Undercover" despite the fact that Carol was undercover for, I forget, like three paragraphs max in the first chapter.
Thanks Gyrd. I think I dropped some pretty heavy hints about where it would go, so not surprised people saw it coming.
As to what the future could hold...
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
@Hypnospects: I actually opened this thread to exactly answer that question!
Ultimately, College Undercover was too dark for me. It's incredibly-written, hot from start to finish, but the ending is as cruel as the start was. It signals its tone loud and clear, and it's wormed its evil way into my head, but for me it's not a recommend if you don't enjoy the first chapter.
One thing I've learnt writing stories like this is that tastes are almost infinitely variable. I think it may be somewhat similar as to what is 'dark'. To answer Hypnospects that form of brainwashing doesn't occur again. Is the story dark? Yes, some of the things that happen are pretty dark. I won't deny that at all. But, oddly, I gave up on Pan's 'Limits' saga because it became too dark for me. I would claim that story is darker than mine. But that's *only* my opinion, others will find mine darker than Pan's (which is a very well-written story, just elements of it are too bleak for me).
Look at it this way
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
Greyscribbler
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One thing I've learnt writing stories like this is that tastes are almost infinitely variable. I think it may be somewhat similar as to what is 'dark'. To answer Hypnospects that form of brainwashing doesn't occur again. Is the story dark? Yes, some of the things that happen are pretty dark. I won't deny that at all. But, oddly, I gave up on Pan's 'Limits' saga because it became too dark for me. I would claim that story is darker than mine. But that's *only* my opinion, others will find mine darker than Pan's (which is a very well-written story, just elements of it are too bleak for me).
Yup! My comments are purely taste-based. I have never liked 'forced' mind control - someone tied to a chair or forcibly restrained, physically fighting back against their controller. Unless I'm misremembering, I don't think it's ever appeared in my stories.
It's hard to deny that Limits is a 'darker' stories in many ways; it's allll about taste.
Great job on writing a compelling tale, btw. I've been seriously considering doing a chapter-by-chapter reread thread, just to properly explore my feelings on it and have an open discussion with the rest of the forum.
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Part 4
Following Her Dream
Ah, the ending! :angel: So yes, I'm looking forward (I think?) to seeing what happens next. The end with Snow, and Violet, I loved! All very cleverly done, in truth.
High end of definitely enjoyed
It Runs in the Family
Oh what a tangled web Connie is weaving. Another where I think I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next. Less so, due to the incest, and one obvious way out, but other than that. Some of the logic here varies between crazy, and great.
Low end of definitely enjoyed. Find it hard to give more due to the incest fascination
Subroutine (Kallie)
What can I say, other than lucky Sally! Yes, I would love Lori to do that to me, wouldnt need a second go, unless I was being greedy. The droning is cleverly done, and I love the Borg connection, what can I say?
High end of definitely enjoyed. Prepared to discuss more in exchange for droning process
Yew and Me
Thank you for reminding me this is a different author to the original story. Certainly well told, and some fascinating intrigue at the end. Again, I would love to be made into one of the mindless slaves here.
High end of definitely enjoyed
Last 4 to follow
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Part 4
Yew and Me
Thank you for reminding me this is a different author to the original story. Certainly well told, and some fascinating intrigue at the end. Again, I would love to be made into one of the mindless slaves here.
High end of definitely enjoyed
Thank you for your very kind comments, Merry, I hope that I have managed to keep faith with Valasania's original themes and ideas and stayed true to the three-dimensional characters that she created. No doubt if I do not, you or someone else will be good enough to let me know and I will make the necessary corrections...
Prepare for a road-trip across Mars!
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Ah, the ending! :angel: So yes, I'm looking forward (I think?) to seeing what happens next. The end with Snow, and Violet, I loved! All very cleverly done, in truth.
High end of definitely enjoyed
I don't know why I was so anxious when I saw you were doing the next round of reviews, haha. As always, I'm glad to hear that you liked it. The second scene took a lot of work to get to a level I was happy with, and I fought with myself to not make it even happier. Janet never originally pushed Violet away, and then after I changed that, I had her invite Violet into the hug with Snow, but I'm glad I went the route that I did.
As for what's next, well... emus of course! Or at latest for chapter 17, all things depending. >:D
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emus of course!
What have I done... :-\
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emus of course!
What have I done... :-\
I think she's winding me up over making any assumptions about Rachel's appearance at the end of the chapter, thats all.
Part 4
Yew and Me
Thank you for reminding me this is a different author to the original story. Certainly well told, and some fascinating intrigue at the end. Again, I would love to be made into one of the mindless slaves here.
High end of definitely enjoyed
Thank you for your very kind comments, Merry, I hope that I have managed to keep faith with Valasania's original themes and ideas and stayed true to the three-dimensional characters that she created. No doubt if I do not, you or someone else will be good enough to let me know and I will make the necessary corrections...
Prepare for a road-trip across Mars!
The characters seemed to gel for me, well the ones that were carry over's at least. Not that the mindless drone that I'd love to be are meant to have much character, lol! :angel:
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It seems this week's releases are doomed to never be pinned...
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I dunno. I loved College Undercover, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like the time skip happened one chapter too soon. I would have much rather seen Ellen break than hear about it after the fact, and the cliffhanger at the end of the previous chapter was basically left unresolved. It was initially disorienting, and a bit disappointing. That said, Carol breaking Kelly was really hot, and I do like where she ended up. Just not the sudden rush to get us there.
There's been a few people say they wanted to see Ellen break, rather than hear about it. I wanted to show Carol as rich and successful before showing what she was doing to the girls. Hence the backward reference to Ellen, rather than showing it. I am sort of tempted to write it up now though, in the way of an epilogue.
I didn't really look on the second last chapter as a cliff hanger. It was noted earlier in the story that the undercover officers can be arrested along with everyone else so their cover isn't blown. Carol would have been taken in, Wainwright would have arranged for her to be released. Both would have been happy for her to keep informing.
As to Wainwright letting her whore in the first place. Yes, it was a stretch. But this the story is meant to follow the tone of 70's cop shows and films, where the main characters would often go way outside the law. This is that trope applied to mc.
Some people asked about a sequel It's possible. Somebody has to take over after Carol.
To answer Pan about being an informant, that was Carol trying to fightback and hold on to who she'd been. The words never completely erased the policewoman.
As to Carol at 65, I'll go with her following Mrs Bowen's example and realising that whores retire. Carol was always good at playing her role.
Thanks all to reading and for the comments.
Greyscribbler
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One thing I've learnt writing stories like this is that tastes are almost infinitely variable. I think it may be somewhat similar as to what is 'dark'. To answer Hypnospects that form of brainwashing doesn't occur again. Is the story dark? Yes, some of the things that happen are pretty dark. I won't deny that at all. But, oddly, I gave up on Pan's 'Limits' saga because it became too dark for me. I would claim that story is darker than mine. But that's *only* my opinion, others will find mine darker than Pan's (which is a very well-written story, just elements of it are too bleak for me).
Yup! My comments are purely taste-based. I have never liked 'forced' mind control - someone tied to a chair or forcibly restrained, physically fighting back against their controller. Unless I'm misremembering, I don't think it's ever appeared in my stories.
It's hard to deny that Limits is a 'darker' stories in many ways; it's allll about taste.
Great job on writing a compelling tale, btw. I've been seriously considering doing a chapter-by-chapter reread thread, just to properly explore my feelings on it and have an open discussion with the rest of the forum.
Thanks Pan. I don't remember anything like that in your stories either.
Obviously I'd love to see that reread thread.
Greyscribbler
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"Limits" gets quite dark towards the end, what with Mom becoming "a prisoner in her own head". I would have liked an ending that showed Mom as being happier in her sex slavery, like Lucy.
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Completed the reviews, without thread pinned, who would ever have thought? ::)
And so to complete
The Adventures of Sultry Girl
These 2 chapters were a bit more sex fixated, so of less interest to me. The illusionist chapter was amusingly done, but the first of the two pretty much was just a miss for me.
Compromise? Low end of definitely enjoyed. Those who enjoy sex more would probably give middle rating
And... Freeze
Oh fine, the only thing stopping this getting a much enjoyed rating is the length. So hot I was still tempted to give one. Maybe Benedetta wishes to discuss? ;) I was even more tempted with the ending, with Angie, but... I love the whole freeze concept anyway, and this is done in a delightful, and sweet way, with just enough of a sinister edge. Oh, fine, the Beverly Hills setting helps too. Oh to be model material... Loved every minute in truth.
Yes, high end of definitely enjoyed, must be good, given length (its over 16K). Offer to be frozen, and any rating Benedetta wishes! Freeze fans will love this
Laser Tag Party
Talking of stories I'd love to be part of, here's another one. Mind, I would want an actual alien look alter, after the event! This was great fun, would be happy to be any character in this, if it wasnt for the 'slight' age issue! Yes, those visors, and the alterations just sound so much fun. Well told too.
High end of definitely enjoyed. Again, open to 'discussion' lol
The Retainer
Some 'interesting' customers in the legal business, clearly. Fine, the ending wouldnt be my dream role, but might be fun, if the makeover works on 60 year old's, lol? :P I could work out where we were heading, but the journey was fun, and nicely told
High end of definitely enjoyed
Thats it for this update. Thanks as always to all authors involved, reviewed or not
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"Limits" gets quite dark towards the end, what with Mom becoming "a prisoner in her own head". I would have liked an ending that showed Mom as being happier in her sex slavery, like Lucy.
It was what happened to the friend that stopped me reading more of the story.
Greyscribbler
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"Limits" gets quite dark towards the end, what with Mom becoming "a prisoner in her own head". I would have liked an ending that showed Mom as being happier in her sex slavery, like Lucy.
It was what happened to the friend that stopped me reading more of the story.
Greyscribbler
That too, super dark, a lot more dark than "College Undercover". (I think both stories are excellent.)
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It seems this week's releases are doomed to never be pinned...
I'm sure someone else will pick up the slack when I take a week away from the Forum...
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Laser Tag Party
Talking of stories I'd love to be part of, here's another one. Mind, I would want an actual alien look alter, after the event! This was great fun, would be happy to be any character in this, if it wasnt for the 'slight' age issue! Yes, those visors, and the alterations just sound so much fun. Well told too.
High end of definitely enjoyed. Again, open to 'discussion' lol
Very kind words, thank you Merry. I'm sure there are lots and lots of Alteration party games that might pique your interest. Altered Monopoly, perhaps? Altered Charades? Password? Hide-and-seek?
Once the technology is out there, and becomes simple and cheap enough for home use, there are a million possible uses for the creative and clever hobbyist...
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My trouble, given my age, and my physical health, is lasting long enough to enjoy that
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I know I've read Hair Today before... is it new to MCstories? ???
It's at least 10 years old. Though he doesn't have much on this site.
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And... Freeze (https://mcstories.com/AndFreeze/index.html) by NickelModelTales
A modeling agency based around hypnosis is, for me, one of those ideas that makes you go, “Oh... Oh my. Oh fuck!” So this story should have been a slam dunk. Instead, I found that it meandered about before getting to an average take on the core concept, and in the end I just wasn’t feeling it :(
The Modelling Agency (https://www.deviantart.com/allidee/gallery/?catpath=%2F&edit=0&q=modelling+agency) by AlliDee (https://www.deviantart.com/allidee) on DeviantArt is more my speed.
College Undercover (https://mcstories.com/CollegeUndercover/index.html) by Greyscribbler
"The clock has run out, son! Time to show your work." :abject dejection:
(Translation: Still haven’t read it :-[)
Following Her Dream (https://mcstories.com/FollowingHerDream/index.html) by Shadra
Yeah, that was pretty fucking hot. And fairly emotionally moving. I still don’t think this story needed to be continued, but I’m quite happy to ride along to the actual end point.
Incubus (https://mcstories.com/IncubusJenniferKohl/index.html) by Jennifer Kohl
Some really rather effective description of Karnath’s powers, and the Leslie shell he now controls, in this chapter. Is the sort of thing that can come of as pretentious or lame if not down well, and this absolutely was done very well indeed. Keep it coming!
By the by, if I’m recommending comic accompaniments today, The Invitation (https://incase.buttsmithy.com/comic/the-invitation-p1/) by Incase (https://incase.buttsmithy.com) is pretty fucking amazing. First chapter is TG, and the second still features a lot of futa, but if you don’t mind those aspects the art and story are top shelf stuff, truly.
Laser Tag Party (https://mcstories.com/LaserTagParty/index.html) by Scalar Seventh
This is surprisingly good. Tropes were effectively deployed to make a mostly silly romp really bring the heat at various points.
And another comic recommendation~ All of colorfultrick’s stuff (https://www.deviantart.com/colorfultrick/gallery/) is fascinatingly bizarre. They have a very similar voice to Scalar7th, and ct’s FreezePetrification Tag story (Part 1 (https://www.deviantart.com/colorfultrick/gallery/66417988/Petrification-Tag) and Part 2 (https://www.deviantart.com/colorfultrick/gallery/66468595/Petrification-Tag-2)) is eminently relevant to this party.
The Mask Becomes You (https://mcstories.com/MaskBecomesYou/index.html) by Carefully Random
Haha, “Don't ‘Goddess’ me!" Quality laugh lines aside, this story has settled down into a pretty engaging slice of life story, but with, you know, a coed ‘goddess’ just trying to make her way through college. Has been so long that I’ve forgotten most of the backstory and so only read the last two chapters. They worked well though and if time was a thing I had more of, it would be nice to catch back up fully on this story now that it is updating again. Carefully Random’s return is something I am very grateful for!
Stranger Tales (https://mcstories.com/StrangerTales/index.html) by Quiet Hypnotist
That description is confusing and hypnosis... As for the text itself, <Obama> :thumbs up: “Not Bad.” Not exactly written for me, but I can appreciate a well-crafted script and this seems to be that, so yeah, fairly good times.
You Broke Like Glass (https://mcstories.com/YouBrokeLikeGlass/index.html) by Jukebox
Been a little while since a Jukebox story tickled my innards (and other places) as much as this one did.
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That too, super dark, a lot more dark than "College Undercover". (I think both stories are excellent.)
Thanks Gyrd
College Undercover (https://mcstories.com/CollegeUndercover/index.html) by Greyscribbler
"The clock has run out, son! Time to show your work." :abject dejection:
(Translation: Still haven’t read it :-[)
Hopefully you will soon Lifmcs. Would love to hear what you think.
Greyscribbler
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More on dark...
Nonconsensual mind-control, almost by definition is dark. Horror films are dark. Most psychological thrillers are too, at least in parts. To me it's a question of what each person enjoys and therefore what their limits are (no pun intended Pan). I know some of the things that are too far for me:
- mind-controlled people being killed or being made to commit suicide
- mind-controlled people being left catatonic
- a truly good leader being corrupted
- a genuine romance destroyed
The last one needs a little explanation. In a lot of western countries 30-40% of first marriages end in divorce. Not a lot of true love there. But if the story holds up the relationship as something truly special and then wrecks it, then it's too much for me. For example, Blood Sport would have been too dark for my tastes if the main characters had not managed to stay together. But if it's a run of the mill relationship being broken I can cope.
But that's just me. What we've seen in the discussion is that other people have other lines. It's interesting to me that people find Fair Share and College Undercover dark. I know they are, but in some ways those characters have it far better than the victims in many stories. They have lives, jobs, money, friends. Alison will even let her slaves have a career. They're not cutoff from their families. Carol is still working undercover, helping put criminals away. I think I know what's dark about those stories, but I would be curious to hear what other people think.
Greyscribbler
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More on dark...
Nonconsensual mind-control, almost by definition is dark. Horror films are dark. Most psychological thrillers are too, at least in parts. To me it's a question of what each person enjoys and therefore what their limits are (no pun intended Pan). I know some of the things that are too far for me:
- mind-controlled people being killed or being made to commit suicide
- mind-controlled people being left catatonic
- a truly good leader being corrupted
- a genuine romance destroyed
The last one needs a little explanation. In a lot of western countries 30-40% of first marriages end in divorce. Not a lot of true love there. But if the story holds up the relationship as something truly special and then wrecks it, then it's too much for me. For example, Blood Sport would have been too dark for my tastes if the main characters had not managed to stay together. But if it's a run of the mill relationship being broken I can cope.
But that's just me. What we've seen in the discussion is that other people have other lines. It's interesting to me that people find Fair Share and College Undercover dark. I know they are, but in some ways those characters have it far better than the victims in many stories. They have lives, jobs, money, friends. Alison will even let her slaves have a career. They're not cutoff from their families. Carol is still working undercover, helping put criminals away. I think I know what's dark about those stories, but I would be curious to hear what other people think.
Greyscribbler
Pfft people and their soft lives don't even know what real dark is. Real darkness lives in the hearts of monsters, and I honestly think it would take a true monster to replicate it. I would bet the majority of them have the sense to keep that to themselves.
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Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
Oof, the unexpected spoiler.
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Laser Tag Party (https://mcstories.com/LaserTagParty/index.html) by Scalar Seventh
This is surprisingly good. Tropes were effectively deployed to make a mostly silly romp really bring the heat at various points.
My ego would like to register its objection to your surprise, thank you very much. :D
Joking aside, it really is supposed to be mostly fun and games. These girls keep surprising me, though, and strange things keep popping up. Thanks for the encouragement!
It's interesting to me that people find Fair Share and College Undercover dark. I know they are, but in some ways those characters have it far better than the victims in many stories. They have lives, jobs, money, friends. Alison will even let her slaves have a career. They're not cutoff from their families. Carol is still working undercover, helping put criminals away. I think I know what's dark about those stories, but I would be curious to hear what other people think.
I read Fair Share as it was being published, and haven't looked at College Undercover, so all I've got is my two cents on the former, but if you're curious...
I wouldn't really call it dark, exactly. Alison isn't mean or cruel, she does no physical harm to those she influences and she regrets and tries to redress any mental and/or emotional damage she does. What makes it... let's say, less light, is that we're not looking at Alison as a moral protagonist. Heroes in all sorts of stories do far worse than Alison ever did, but since they're framed as good, forthright, upstanding citizens, we understand implicitly that their actions are "good," so far as the story world defines it. Because Alison isn't framed as a holy crusader, but an ordinary, flawed (sometimes dangerously so), struggling human being whose actions are morally questionable - even if they're influenced by forces outside her control - she's given the veneer of darkness, which when viewed under a certain light, definitely looks shady.
Is what she does morally pure? No, but it's fairly real. I think the fact that she doesn't suffer "proper" consequences for her actions is what makes people think of it as dark, but what you're reading isn't a morality tale. Would her victims be better off if they hadn't met her? You could argue that, but the fact is that they did meet her, and they're exceedingly happy now, aren't they?
It leaves a lot of characters in completely different places than where they started, and arguably, from a standpoint outside the story, based on our own views of morality, those different places are worse. But the characters sure don't think that they're worse off. An argument could be made that they didn't want to be where they are before they got there, but now that they are there, do they want to go back? Given the choice, would any of them turn back the clock and walk a different road?
I wonder if That Guy got these moral questions about Ethics 101 for Mind Controllers or Checking Out the College. In both of those, women are permanently changed and enslaved to the mind controller (happily so, one by choice, one not) and placed in lesbian relationships (happily so, one by choice, one not). In fact, Ethics 101 brings up these very real questions and explores them. I wouldn't think of either of them as dark, though, in the end.
Maybe it's just because...
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
Because that's all kinds of grey areas, but it's really not a lot different in function or structure from what happens to Rhonda in Ethics 101. I think it's all in the framing.
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Incubus (https://mcstories.com/IncubusJenniferKohl/index.html) by Jennifer Kohl
Some really rather effective description of Karnath’s powers, and the Leslie shell he now controls, in this chapter. Is the sort of thing that can come of as pretentious or lame if not down well, and this absolutely was done very well indeed. Keep it coming!
Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm up to chapter 5 or 6 at my Patreon, I forget which, and posting one there every month. I've got something of a backlog built up so there's still a few more weeks of me alternating MGS and Incubus, but eventually I'll be caught up on both, which is to say one month behind the Patreon. At that point there'll be a chapter of each every month until they're finished!
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The Retainer
Some 'interesting' customers in the legal business, clearly. Fine, the ending wouldnt be my dream role, but might be fun, if the makeover works on 60 year old's, lol? :P I could work out where we were heading, but the journey was fun, and nicely told
High end of definitely enjoyed
Thanks Merry!
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Pfft people and their soft lives don't even know what real dark is. Real darkness lives in the hearts of monsters, and I honestly think it would take a true monster to replicate it. I would bet the majority of them have the sense to keep that to themselves.
Oh dear... Here we have the age old comfort blanket, the one that helps human beings sleep at night and not lie there peering into the dark and fetid corners of their souls!
Very few atrocities are ever committed by monsters or psychopaths... Most are gleefully carried out by Joe Public. All it needs is someone or something to trigger them and then people are up and running, carrying out the darkest deeds which at other times would horrify them. Given the wrong circumstances a normal member of the public is capable of giving any mass-murdering psychopath a run for their money.
The Ruandan genocide, Pol Pot's Mass Killings, the Final Solution, Stalin's Purges... The bulk of the killing was always carried out by normal people placed in abnormal situations. We just like to think that it was all done by monsters because this is the only way that we can sleep at night.
ExtantElan, if you want to see were real darkness lies, look into your own heart, or into mine, or into that of everyone that you know or meet - there you will find it. Then pray that it stays there, only to emerge in stories.
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Pfft people and their soft lives don't even know what real dark is. Real darkness lives in the hearts of monsters, and I honestly think it would take a true monster to replicate it. I would bet the majority of them have the sense to keep that to themselves.
Oh dear... Here we have the age old comfort blanket, the one that helps human beings sleep at night and not lie there peering into the dark and fetid corners of their souls!
Very few atrocities are ever committed by monsters or psychopaths... Most are gleefully carried out by Joe Public. All it needs is someone or something to trigger them and then people are up and running, carrying out the darkest deeds which at other times would horrify them. Given the wrong circumstances a normal member of the public is capable of giving any mass-murdering psychopath a run for their money.
The Ruandan genocide, Pol Pot's Mass Killings, the Final Solution, Stalin's Purges... The bulk of the killing was always carried out by normal people placed in abnormal situations. We just like to think that it was all done by monsters because this is the only way that we can sleep at night.
ExtantElan, if you want to see were real darkness lies, look into your own heart, or into mine, or into that of everyone that you know or meet - there you will find it. Then pray that it stays there, only to emerge in stories.
First let me apologize to greyscribbler. I did not intend for that post to sound nearly as dismissive as it reads.
Secondly, I agree with you, but I feel the problem rests in the term 'darkness'. I just ended a chapter in a story with the line "And then she embraced the darkness" and I almost cut it because it felt overwrought. Now, clearly my fault rests in conflating darkness with some romantic conceit, which I thought I was arguing against but I plead drunkenness. :p The truth remains though the normal human being can do all sorts of trauma after divesting themselves of a sense of empathy. A psychopath or sociopath doesn't have to bother because they are incapable of even experiencing empathy. To the point that supposing a moral difference would be alien to them. The fact greyscribbler is bothered by it proves in itself that he isn't a monster. That's all I was trying to get at but the Glenlivet had other ideas..
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Oh my, and I behind on my reading! :(
I know I've said this before, but I really love the setting in Redsliver's Blizzard. The snowy weather- nearly constant and always in the background- is a character unto itself. This week's chapter was no exception. And what a chapter! The supernatural element begins to come out into the open. How will Gene and the girls react? How many girls will Gene end up with? And how insanely jealous is Gene's brother, anyway? :) What a wonderful slow-burner of a story.
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
Following Her Dream ends the latest chapter with yet another emotional punch, and possibly an enormous cliffhanger! Janet has been dragged right back into the thick of things, but like a time traveler, maybe she has the chance to do things right the second time around. Or, like many time travelers, perhaps she will only end up making things worse? I love the characters in this story, and I can't wait to see where fate and consequence leads them next.
The cup runneth over in A Plethora of Heathers, but what is Heather going to do with all of these namesake captures, anyway? And now another one arrives! One wonders if Ms. Burns and her talents will be an asset or a problem going down the road. As always, a fun and sharp read. Does anyone need a Heather? I know where you can get a few for cheap...
Meanwhile, over in 61 Days in River City, our undercover heroines run into trouble whilst in disguise, and complications ensue. But since they don't know the whole story... further complications await! This story continues to be fun and full of twists, turns, and laugh-out-loud moments. :)
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Following Her Dream
Yeah, that was pretty fucking hot. And fairly emotionally moving. I still don’t think this story needed to be continued, but I’m quite happy to ride along to the actual end point.
Thank you! As much as I enjoyed writing the emotional scenes with Janet the past few chapters, I was really happy to get back into some fun action. That scene in particular was fun to write, even though it went through a few iterations. Can't promise I'll be able to top that, but there is more action to come yet!
Out of curiosity, where would you have liked it to end? It's interesting to hear the different expectations that people have for the story, though admittedly it also kind of sucks knowing that regardless where I go, someone is going to be disappointed. I had some people rooting for Violet, and others tell me she ruined the story for them, after all.
Following Her Dream ends the latest chapter with yet another emotional punch, and possibly an enormous cliffhanger! Janet has been dragged right back into the thick of things, but like a time traveler, maybe she has the chance to do things right the second time around. Or, like many time travelers, perhaps she will only end up making things worse? I love the characters in this story, and I can't wait to see where fate and consequence leads them next.
You're late! :grin: :grin:
What can I say? I love me some cliffhangers. How else am I to get people to come back? It's certainly not the story itself. :grin:
That said, though I haven't written the last scene yet, I don't expect a cliffhanger in the next chapter. Kind of has me worried that people will think it's the end, but I promise there will be an epilogue!
Thanks for all the support from you both, (and of course all the other reviews I responded to already). It is greatly appreciated.
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The cup runneth over in A Plethora of Heathers, but what is Heather going to do with all of these namesake captures, anyway? And now another one arrives! One wonders if Ms. Burns and her talents will be an asset or a problem going down the road. As always, a fun and sharp read. Does anyone need a Heather? I know where you can get a few for cheap...
Thank you for your comments. And that's a good question, what is Heather going to do with all those Heathers? Keep on reading and you may get an answer.
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Meanwhile, over in 61 Days in River City, our undercover heroines run into trouble whilst in disguise, and complications ensue. But since they don't know the whole story... further complications await! This story continues to be fun and full of twists, turns, and laugh-out-loud moments. :)
I'm happy you're still finding it entertaining. There's more to come, don't worry about that. I did try to make it different in kind from Betsy Visits River City and I'll leave it up to you and other readers to say if I succeeded or not.
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I know I've said this before, but I really love the setting in Redsliver's Blizzard. The snowy weather- nearly constant and always in the background- is a character unto itself. This week's chapter was no exception. And what a chapter! The supernatural element begins to come out into the open. How will Gene and the girls react? How many girls will Gene end up with? And how insanely jealous is Gene's brother, anyway? :) What a wonderful slow-burner of a story.
Glad you're liking it. Now that I'm not at risk of that same weather outside my window, I really love the snow too. I'm glad the brother stood out, loved writing that character. Thanks so much for the review!
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The Mask Becomes You (https://mcstories.com/MaskBecomesYou/index.html) by Carefully Random
Haha, “Don't ‘Goddess’ me!" Quality laugh lines aside, this story has settled down into a pretty engaging slice of life story, but with, you know, a coed ‘goddess’ just trying to make her way through college. Has been so long that I’ve forgotten most of the backstory and so only read the last two chapters. They worked well though and if time was a thing I had more of, it would be nice to catch back up fully on this story now that it is updating again. Carefully Random’s return is something I am very grateful for!
Thanks lifmcs! I'm glad you got a laugh or two from it as well. Due to my lengthy hiatus I expect most will be fuzzy on certain things that already happened, but my hope is that each chapter still manages to stand on its own to a certain extent. Hopefully have the next part posted by tomorrow if I can give it a proofing without falling asleep on my keyboard. One thing I will say is that the "settled down" state, while Tara is certainty enjoying it, will not be lasting much longer...
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Sorry to be so late to the discussion but just got a chance to read final chapter of College Undercover
First, great story. If ever get motivated enough to do Readers Picks again, will definitely be added.
As to the issue at hand, I did not think of it as particularly dark. MC is inherently not sunshine and rainbows but the psychological issues Carol dealt were a battle between what she had been trained to like and what she had liked.
The ending was (minor spoiler). ... surprising. Thought Wainright would have stopped it. That was darker than expected. ... with its sense of irony, very much in the manner of a Trilby Else story.
It's interesting to me that people find Fair Share and College Undercover dark. I know they are, but in some ways those characters have it far better than the victims in many stories. They have lives, jobs, money, friends. Alison will even let her slaves have a career. They're not cutoff from their families. Carol is still working undercover, helping put criminals away. I think I know what's dark about those stories, but I would be curious to hear what other people think.
Greyscribbler
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Aftermarket (Fugue) (https://mcstories.com/AftermarketFugue/index.html) (mc mf md) (new) by Fugue
Mahop BioLabs produces docile, sexy little playthings from housewives and soccer moms. How do they do that?
I like some stories of Fugue. They are a good example of the limits that each medium has to express the MC.
The comic version is exciting and more direct, but the written version allows you to 'live' what the characters experience and what the MC entails.
The (Late) Much Loved Old Clem (https://mcstories.com/LateMuchLovedOldClem/index.html) (mc mf md) (new) by Maximilian Cummings
Lucy and her new husband settle into their honeymoon holiday cottage. Is it all in Lucy’s mind or is it really haunted?
Perfect fantasy in which fantasy, naturally formed in a character. And he tells it. But when we see them in this context we notice perfectly what is 'wrong' in their perceptions and it really happens. Very immersive, a good job.
Stranger Tales (https://mcstories.com/StrangerTales/index.html) (mc mf md) (new) by Quiet Hypnotist
A confusing and hypnosis induction leads girls towards a curious realization.
Good speed management in deepening the trance. You know what is going to happen, even so that does not take away the exciting. A set of short stories or a more extreme continuation in another context, would be a fantastic idea, with this rhythm.
You Broke Like Glass (https://mcstories.com/YouBrokeLikeGlass/index.html) (mc mm) (new) by Jukebox
Wayne doesn’t think he can be hypnotized, but Jerry keeps telling him it’s happened before.
f.lux made me read this story, with the orange protector. The blue colors look more like a green, and the yellow ones, white.
It's excellent, the spiral is a classic, and Jukebox uses it a lot. Here the tension, the battle of egos, the freedom lost from the first moment. Hypnosis is perfectly carried.
I'm not from reading male to male stories. Of which I have read, it has not convinced me much, except as a complement to other stories. This story, puts as a main axis, the trance, and domination by 80% and in the end, highlights the most sexual dynamics. That is perfect for the framework established in that 80%.
Humiliation is much more psychological. And I love that.
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Sorry to be so late to the discussion but just got a chance to read final chapter of College Undercover
First, great story. If ever get motivated enough to do Readers Picks again, will definitely be added.
As to the issue at hand, I did not think of it as particularly dark. MC is inherently not sunshine and rainbows but the psychological issues Carol dealt were a battle between what she had been trained to like and what she had liked.
The ending was (minor spoiler). ... surprising. Thought Wainright would have stopped it. That was darker than expected. ... with its sense of irony, very much in the manner of a Trilby Else story.
Thanks Rinky Dink, glad you liked. Any comparison to Trilby Else is gratefully received.
Greyscribbler